My name is Barbara and I am a 37-year-old black woman, recently
widowed with four teenage children ages 13, 14, 16, and 18.

	  My husband was killed in a hit-and-run automobile accident at
the age of 39.  I found out two days after the accident that I was
6 to 8 weeks pregnant.  There was only my income of $1,100 per month
to support myself and our children.  The insurance from my husband's
death was barely enough to cover funeral costs.

	  I went to the welfare office for help and was told that I made
too much money for any public assistance.

	  Next option was to visit an adoption facility in my area.  I
volunteered in one when I was younger and I wanted to see if the
conditions had changed much since then.  Unfortunately, they hadn't,
minority children sadly waiting for someone to adopt them.  I realized
that it was not an option for me and my minority child.

	  I then visited the Crisis Pregnancy Center and was hit with a
lot of morals and a film that only served to make my decision harder.

	  Planned Parenthood was my next stop.  There I was treated with
respect and given the feeling that they would support and help me
no matter what my decision and assured me that I was still a good
person no matter what I chose.  I also got accurate information
about the options available to me.  They advised me to write down
the pros and cons of the 3 choices that were available to me and
my feelings surrounding these choices.  I felt much better and less
guilt-ridden after talking with them.

	  In the end, after much soul searching and suffering, I decided
to abort the pregnancy because I couldn't get anyone to agree to
knock on my door once a week and say, "Ms. Evans, let me take your
kids off your hands for a few days so that you can rest" or "Ms.
Evans, let me give you $25 per month to add to your food bill at
the grocery store, let me go with you to the electric company and
pay that final notice bill before they turn off your lights and
heat."  I felt I had enough responsibility to my children who
were already here.

	  Three years has passed since I made my decision.  I have no
regrets.  But when I see something like the "Silent Scream," it
makes me angry and I have to relive a very hard time in my life.
I phoned the Right to Life organization after seeing the "Silent
Scream" on TV and explained my situation and asked the lady if
she, being a white women, would have adopted my black child.  At
first she said yes, she would, but when I confronted her with the
facts, she implied that well maybe she wouldn't, ... her answer
for me was "But someone will."

		 -- Barbara

		 *************

From _The Voices of Women - Abortion: In Their Own Words_, produced
by the National Abortion Rights Action League (NARAL).

--
"[Pregnancy] is like a harmless slavery of sorts.  It is only nine months."
-- Kevin Welch in talk.abortion