J Mike Barefield
Funny Joke
>DR> I saw this bumper sticker on the back of a pick-up Thursday:
>DR> "Real Men Love Jesus."
>DR> I damn near wet myself, I laughed so hard!

JMB> "What makes a real man? be [sic] careful now....."

Goddess, you want me to write an essay that could end up at least
100 pages. Do you really think that is fair of you to ask of me?
How about if I just list as few of the many qualities that a "real
man" "should" posses? I can think of hundreds: here are just a few:

A Real Man holds high ethical ideals without compromise.
A Real Man is emotionally balanced. He should be able to laugh
 and cry as he damn well please, and not give a shit what other
 people think of him.
A Real Man can be laughed -AT- as well as laughed -WITH- and not feel
 insulted, demeaned, or belittled. Words don't breat bones!
A Real Man shares his feelings with those he cares for.
A Real Man has grace under pressure and does not panic in a crisis.
A Real Man is responsible for his actions and inactions.
A Real Man takes on the burden of responsibility for those who
 -cannot- shoulder a responsibility themselves *providing* he is
 asked to and agrees.
A Real Man marries for life.
A Real Man surrenders his marriage gracefully if it does not work.
A Real Man loves and honors his spouse above all else.
A Real Man honors and respects *ALL* women, be she Queen or harlot.
A Real Man is sexually and emotionally responsive to his spouse or
 girlfriend.
A Real Man is attentive to his spouse sexually, paying attention to
 what pleases her and what does not.
A Real Man is one who respects his spouse's wishes when she says "Not
 tonight, dear." He does not whine, plead, or beg.
A Real Man understands that it is not his job or duty to please
 anyone other than himself, which includes his spouse, and which
 also includes his spouse sexually.
A Real Man desires to please his spouse and children before himself
 out of love and not guilt or a "sense of power."
A Real Man supports his spouse in her successes as well as failures.
A Real Man is kind to himself.
A Real Man does not lie.
A Real Man does not steal.
A Real Man does not cheat.
A Real Man is tolerant of dissenting opinion.
A Real Man is NOT tolerant of hate, bigotry, ignorance.
A Real Man never strikes child, woman, or man, for ANY reason, unless
 in self-defense.
A Real Man is well-educated.
A Real Man is well-read.
A Real Man is clean and well-groomed.
A Real Man can cook, clean, iron, wash dishes, change a diaper, and
 stay home while his spouse works for a living.
A Real Man is kind to animals and children. :-)
A Real Man helps those who ask for help.
A Real Man knows when to help someone who needs help but doesn't ask
 for it.
A Real Man does *not* help someone who needs help when asked not to.
 (I.e. a Real Man respects other's decisions).

A Real Man is all these things AND SO MANY MORE. Too many to list. Not
one has to do with loving imaginary playfriends. Real Men love those
who love them, and don't NEED invisible friends.

-- David Rice