We have all heard the phrase ''winning the battle, only to lose the war.'' And we are all familiar with the over-used and under-defined phrase ''the battle of the sexes.''

                         The Social Excursion
                            * MEN AND WOMEN

We have all heard the phrase "winning the battle, only to lose the
war." And we are all familiar with the over-used and under-defined
phrase "the battle of the sexes." How ironic and confounding these two
phrases are when considered together. For in the proverbial "Battle of
the Sexes" we are faced with an unending and unwinnable war. Should
either "side" ever win the war, it would of necessity end the battle.
And, either by predication or consequence, the end of the battle of
the sexes would certainly be concomitant with the end of sex. In
short, the end of the world, as we know it. In other words, the Battle
of the Sexes will be with us until the end of the world. And at that
point, who will really give a damn! Most of us would likely choose to
greet the apocolypse in flagrante delicto anyhow.

So, you are encouraged to deal with this weighty social issue always
with a grain of salt, with the piercing realization that nobody is
ever going to win the Battle of the Sexes. However, this doesn't mean
that the ongoing debate is without its merits. Afterall, through
intercourse do we achieve intercourse. Which simply means that a
healthy debate can make for stimulating foreplay. A little discussion
can go a long way toward greater understanding. You can keep on
waiting for that technological watershed that may someday permit the
sexes to actually experience the sensation of being the opposite. If
it ever comes, it will surely revolutionize human sexuality. But until
that dream becomes reality, our best tool is the open exchange of
ideas and information. And that is one of the enduring specialties of

A decade of watching and sharing in digital debates great and small,
silly and sublime, pathetic and prescient, have gone into creating
this CompuRef Sociology file. So before I enfilade you with homespun
philosophy and cracker barrel wisdom, be assured that you are not
dealing with just any rookie hood- winker here. In this era of blind
banality, revolutionary chatter, outstanding mediocrity, mysticism,
extremism, daydreams, and persuasive near-sightedness, I submit a few
hard facts. These bold and commanding formulations are the result of a
debilitating decade of rueful reflection about the world of the mind
and the deeply involved heart. These vaporous guidelines compiled for
the first time here on CompuRef, were recently requested by the Senior
Lobotomy Surgeons at the Whamo Neuro-Psychiatric Institute, as well
as by a desperate group of RN's (Resident Nymphs) at the Breaking
Point Clinic for those in the Fast Lane for Flipsville, where their
slogan is: I AM NOT NUTS, I AM RAISINS !!

No further references or credentials ought be necessary at this point.
Let us stipulate now to the absolute and piercing truth of what you
are about to read. Sit back now, take another swig of Murine, and
enjoy Mickey's Laws of Men and Women. You'll find another, even more
contemporary file, of similar interest on this floor of our Electronic
Library, entitled "Dating in the 90's."

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It's gruntbrained to speak of the "superiority" of one sex over the
other. It's unrealistic to speak of the "equality" of the sexes. The
sexes are distinct. Each sex has what the other has not. Each sex
completes the other, and is completed by the other. They are nothing
alike, but the happiness of both depends on each asking and receiving
from the other what only the other can give. The union of the sexes
can be a trying experience. But if perfected, an unbeatable team is
formed. If failed, harmony, procreation, and the future of the species
are at risk. The measure of success or failure is predicated upon
three key factors: Expectation, Selection, and Execution.

The Pepsi generation. Weaned on fast food, fast flicks, and quick
kicks. Television. The bread and circuses for the Pepsi generation. It
preoccupies, distracts and distorts, shattering the reality of time
and space into split-seconds and instant replays. The media molds our
values and perceptions about all aspects of our complex lives with
two- dimensional images of no more substance than the fake facades in
front of which their commercialized morality plays are filmed. Nowhere
is this more true than where love and the sexes are concerned. Our
earliest perceptions about sex, sexuality, love and marriage are
gleaned from an irridescent babbling box determined to sell us soap.
But, like a cheap hooker wearing a Chastity Belt, the media teases,
but never fulfills. Cardboard cut-out characters act out fake lives in
a Looking Glass world that is all style and no substance, offering
nothing useful to the idle audience, its collective mind numbed by
what it seems can be so, and yet is not for them. If you seek Mister
or Miss Right based on the values and expectations of the Pepsi
generation, you will most certainly find only disappointment.

Chuck Darwin was a social optometrist. He opened the eyes of the world
to the obvious. He focused our attention to the self-evident, that
being, that Mother Nature dearly loves diversity. He also noted how
some elements of that diversity are more successful than others. But
being that this is not primarily a biology lesson, let us focus on
diversity itself. Consider the great diversity not only of species,
that Darwin concerned himself (and it seems a great many others) with,
but also of personalities. Also consider that Life is really a
fantastic series of haphazards. Finally, consider a concept in
semi-fine dining, known as the Smorgasbord. Combine these
considerations, and you have the key to successful selection. What,
you're not following ? Well, there's no disputing there is an infinite
variety of different personalities in the world. If you are one of
those people of whom it takes all kinds to make a world, you should
understand what I'm talking about. The trick is not to seek Miss or
Mister Right (bearing in mind here our Pepsi generation admonition),
but rather to find somebody with whom you are compatible. If you
consider this search a hunger, the analogy should become clear. In the
first place, you are far more likely to fall face first into a vat of
cherries at a smorgasbord than while camped in front of the TV. And in
the second place, you get to sample the whole range of main dishes, as
well as some sweet cupcakes, while at a smorgasbord. In other words,
you cannot make the right selection in your Love Life without first
having placed yourself in position of choice, sampling sufficiently to
discover that to which your own unique tastes run. The taste testing
can be a treat, and you never know when you'll bump into a peach!

No matter how well grounded are your expectations, or how carefully
selected your mate, if you fail to execute your relationship
successfully, happiness will yet elude you. Marriage is work. And to
many folks, "work" is a four-letter word. It is really true what they
say, you do have to work at a happy relationship. The fruit of this
labor is the unbeatable team we mentioned earlier. The alternative is
the sort of acrimonious deterioration all too common with married
couples today. You have no doubt seen them. The married couple that
behaves like a pair of scissors....Joined so they can't be separated,
but always moving in opposite directions, and yet cutting up anyone
who comes between them. For these folks marriage is like a very dull
dinner, with dessert at the beginning, becoming a litany of love,
hate, lies, jealousy, excruciating domestic boredom, and reciprocal
destruction. How sad. Instead, if each mate would treat the other as
if they were the sole source of his/her happiness, without depending
upon such treatment in return, their union would work well. And if
each had observed the lessons of the previous two paragraphs, the
union would be ideal. Because when you have grounded your
expectations, and selected your mate well, the only operative
four-letter word is "love" and nothing associated with it feels like
"work" at all.

Simple as it all may seem, many are still confused, while others have
simply fallen asleep. "Can you say it with less syllables" is the
frequent hue and cry of the Pepsi generation, who absently buy the
soap, but can't stand the soap boxes. So for those demanding a more
epigrammatic approach, I offer Mickey's Piercing 'Puter Precepts. This
is a growing list of axoims and truisms about Men, Women, Love, War,
and everything in between, all of which illustrate the above mentioned
ideas and principles. Feel free to propose your own additions.....

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 Addlepated Axioms and Immutable Laws of Life

>> Life is the art of drawing without having to use an eraser.

>> To be good is to be noble. But to teach others to be good
   is nobler, and alot less trouble.

>> Tears comprise the hydraulic force through which masculine
   willpower is defeated by feminine water power.

>> A woman may be both ignorant and shapely. But she is never
   ignorant of the fact that she is shapely.