Message #73
From: Donna 15
To: ALL
Date: 09-17-92 21:46:52
Subject: Here's one for YOU!

Within the past two weeks, on two separate occasions, two male co-workers
of mine hit me with the same question in hopes of gaining the
female perspective on the subject.  The fact that they BOTH asked me the
same question was purely coincidental and they had not discussed the
subject with anyone else prior to asking me.  But today at lunch when the
second person asked me, about 10 minutes into the resulting conversation,
the first person who had asked the question came over and the three of us
discussed it together.

What they BOTH asked me was:

    "Donna, why do you wear a ring on the RING FINGER of your LEFT hand
     when you are NOT married or attached to anyone?"

I was fairly stunned by the question; it seemed so obvious to me--I
SIMPLY ENJOY JEWELRY!  I ALWAYS wear three rings whenever I go
anywhere--the same two on my right hand, and I alternate the one I wear
on the ring finger of my left hand.  I think only one of those that I
wear on my left hand could possibly be misconstrued as an engagement
ring as it is a diamond cocktail ring.

My co-workers both said that if they see ANY type of ring on THAT finger
of a woman's left hand, that they INSTANTLY assume that the woman is
involved in a relationship and they will NOT approach her!  I found this
reasoning to be totally ILLOGICAL!  My co-workers were quite adamant
about their views and said that most members of the male species share
the same line of thought.

I told them that I didn't think that women felt that way, that most
would probably wear a ring on the ring finger of their left hand
REGARDLESS of their status of involvement.  I said that most women
would not feel insulted if they were wearing a ring that was obviously
NOT an engagement or wedding ring and a gentleman approached them.

This line of reasoning really angered one of my co-workers.  He went so
far as to say that it shows where the moral code of today's female is
if they WANT to be approached.  He basically stated that only SLIME
would approach a woman who was wearing a ring.

Anyway, after our little discussion, I went and talked to several female
co-workers of mine.  ALL that I talked to felt the same way that I do;
that unless it is blatantly obvious that the ring is a wedding or
engagement ring, that it shouldn't prevent a man from approaching a
woman.

Tonight, a male friend of mine called me.  I posed the question to him.
He pretty much agreed with what my male co-workers said.  Now this really
has me concerned!!  Do most men REALLY feel that ANY ring on the third
finger of the left hand AUTOMATICALLY means that the woman is spoken
for?  And do most women REALLY feel that unless it is specifically a
wedding or engagement ring, that it shouldn't matter to the men, and it
is OK to wear a ring on ANY finger; that it shouldn't be construed as a
signal that they are involved!

If this is the case, then there is MAJOR miscommunication between the
sexes!!  I thought it might be interesting to pose the question here and
see what the men and women here feel and think on the subject.

What do YOU think?  Should a ring (ANY ring) be worn on the third finger
of a woman's left hand be worn ONLY if the woman is attached?  Is a woman
who is wearing one generally judged by the male population as ATTACHED?
Do women generally feel that it is OK to be single and wear a non-wedding
or engagement ring on that finger and that it SHOULDN'T be construed as a
signal to the male species that they are attached?


                                                .....donna