Now is the Discontent of our Winter

by David Rice

In the Vol. 11 No. 34 issue of FidoNews, there was mention of a weekly Bible column. I -love- the idea! I mean, like, that's what FidoNews is for, isn't it?! Why SURE it is! It is not as if people could actually go out and get a Bible and read it themselves if they wanted to--- what with the Pagan Left censoring everything good and wholesome and godly. It's not as if there were over a dozen echoes dedicated to the topic, each one more Biblical and True than the next. It's not as if one can find a Bible in every motel room throughout the nation, or ask the Geidion Society for a few hundred free ones, or that one may go into any used book store and pick one up for a dime. Ah, no! Certainly not! We -must- have a Bible column in FidoNews--- what computer related, network oriented newsletter would be complete without a Bible column?! It's only logical, right? You betcha!

After the Bible column has been underway for a few weeks, we should also have a weekly astrological column as well. That's fair, ain't it? And topical to FidoNews, right? Of course it is.

And a cooking column. There's the ticket. Every computer network newsletter should have a cooking column. We should hear all about how to prepare boneless chicken and Lima beans in FidoNews. This is vital information, not available anywhere else.

Not to mention the weekly Household Tips column. Those grass stains on the knees of one's jeans sure are a bitch to get out, don't you agree? Of course you do: that's why we -need- this column too!

Naturally if these new weekly columns--- Bible, Astrological, Cooking, and Household Tips--- are rejected as not suitable for FidoNews, I'm going to scream "censorship" at the top of my lungs, to everyone who will listen (and plenty who won't) until the editors cave in to my demands. Hell, maybe I'll sue them.

That's what FidoNews is for, ain't it? Why sure it is.