No commandant could be more direct or easy to understand. Yet you can see people out on the streets every day, shamelessly wearing flannel shirts with woolen sweaters, acrylic blended with cotton, and all manner of other sinful combinations one could imagine in a nightmare. Satan must have a hold on the fasion industry.

And what's even worse, these godless garment-mixers flaunt their perverse mixed fabrics infront of children! (I have heard that some of them even like to dress children in mixed garments, but this perversion is just too much for further elaboration...and of course, all garment-mixers have either and overt or covert desire to dress children in mixed garments.)

Let's suppose that a mixed fabric wearer wanted to adopt children - the State of Texas would allow it! I know it is shocking, but there are no questions on the form asking about this sin. No one asks if the child will be exposed to mixed fabrics or might even be coerced into wearing them. We should spend tax dollars studying the effects of mixed fabrics on impressionable children, even though I am sure that it has a negative effect.

And what of our so-called leaders? Just the other day I saw Pat Robertson on *national television* wearing a cotton- poly blend! And all this talk of scandal - who cares what goes on behind closed doors when these men casually flaunt their mixed fabric lifestyle for all to see.

Clearly our country is a state of moral decline, and I hope you will join me in my campaign to dress America according to God's laws. Please support me and the Christian Coalition Against Mixed Fabrics. Send money today. And remember, God is on our side. Bless you.