Religious Affiliation Survey

Jack O'Neill
May-24-94 02:14:14

You were not promised supper, just a religion.  Now if you'll
just check the features you'd like, we'll get it right out to
you.  Thank You.

[] One deity
[] One deity with multiple personalities  (If so, how many?______)
[] Multiple deities
[] Deity Jr(s) (how many?______)
   If deity jr(s), to be born of []Rock []Virgin []Whore []Farm animal
                                 []Water []Fire []Wind []Other________
   Deities' attributes (check all that you would like)
   [] Omnipotence  [] Limited omnipotence  [] Slight omnipotence
   [] Male  [] Female  [] Gay  [] Lesbian [] Bi  [] Neuter [] Cross dresser
   [] Good  [] Evil  [] Loving  [] Vengeful  [] Sadistic  [] Indifferent
[] Savior deity
[] Deity(s) to be  []Alive  []Dead  []Revived  []In suspended animation
[] Elvis
[] Anti-deity
[] Multiple anti-deities  (how many?______)
[] Talking animals  []snakes  []donkeys []unicorns []fish []dogs
                    []other__________   []all of the above
[] Burning bushes [] Talking, burning bushes [] Walking, burning bushes
[] Floods  [] Fires  [] Drought  [] Plagues ([] Disease, [] Insects)
[] Earthquakes  [] Hurricanes  [] Tornados  [] Volcanos  [] Blizzards
[] Mathematical errors.  If so. please specify the values you would like
     for the following: Pi____, Square root of 2____, Division by 0______,
     Sum of the angles of a triangle_______, rectangle________, Degrees
     in a circle________, 1+1=______________.
 Geometry of the Earth: []Flat ([]Round  []Square  []Other________)
                        []Cube  []Cone  []Sphere  []Other_________
 Earth to rest on:      []Pillars  []Turtles  []Elephants []Other_____
 Age of the Earth:      []Three weeks  []6000 Years []Other___________
 Earth to end:          []Soon  []Never  []Last Week  []Other_________
 Other special requests regarding the Earth __________________________
 Which animals would you like classified as birds?  []Bats []Horses
                        []Pigs []Cats []Locusts []Other____________
 Animals to chew cud:   []Cattle []Rabbits []Kangaroo []Other______
 Number of legs on a foul?________________
 Number of legs on an insect?_____________
 Other special requests regarding animals_____________________________
 Classification of sexual activities:
                                Good    Evil
 Heterosexuality ('out')        []      []
 Heterosexuality ('closeted')   []      []
 Homosexuality   ('out')        []      []
 Homosexuality   ('closeted')   []      []
 Bisexuality     ('out')        []      []
 Bisexuality     ('closeted')   []      []
 Missionary position            []      []
 Doggie style                   []      []
 Standing                       []      []
 Sitting                        []      []
 Male superior                  []      []
 Both males superior            []      []
 Female superior                []      []
 Both females superior          []      []
 Oral sex                       []      []
 Anal sex                       []      []
 Masturbation (alone)           []      []
 Masturbation (2 or more)       []      []
 Group sex  (straight)          []      []
 Group sex  (gay)               []      []
 Group sex  (bi)                []      []
 With small animals (gerbels etc) []    []
 With medium animals (dog, cat..) []    []
 With large animals (horse, cow.) []    []
 In bedroom                     []      []
 In kitchen                     []      []
 On the front lawn              []      []
 On the beach                   []      []
 In the church                  []      []
 With religious leaders         []      []
 Prostitutes (female)           []      []
 Prostitutes (male)             []      []
 Others good _____________________________
 Others evil _____________________________

 Tolerance of other religions []No  []Yes  []Only of _________________
 Kill followers of other religions  []Yes  []No  []Only ______________
 Ethnic bigotry  []Yes  []No  []Only against _________________________
 Sexual bigotry  []No   []Yes, against _______________________________
 Allow wife beating []Yes  []No
 Allow child beating  []Yes  []No
 Ritual sacrifice []Human  []Animal []Other  []None
 Number of Holy Days per year___________
 Do you require a Holy Writ []No  []Yes
        If yes  []Written by deity personally  []Commissioned by deity
                []Inerrant   ([]With []Without errors)
                Language____________    Date it was written___________
 Any thing else to include or prohibit (use separate page if needed)__