But then, on the roof, I heard such a clatter
And Jesus himself knew what was the matter.
And up on the rooftop, what should appear
But the Cosmic Star Goat with a six pack of beer.
He said, "Be gone!! Be gone!! Be gone, you liar!!
Stop scaring these people with threats of hell fire."

Jesus tried to run for the door
But he was so scared, he whizzed on the floor.
The Star Goat laughed at his cries for help,
And then he ate Jesus in one single gulp.
"You're safe from this loser", the Star Goat said,
And then I went right back to bed.

May the Star Goat bless you this holiday season.

-Rev. Quentin Fai