Hi, gang.

Well, lookee here. George is still draggin' the old "komodo" around the echo.

Sheesh. I figured that in my 5-month absence, even that'd have the sense enough to lie down and die a well deserved death.

Apparently not.

In the latest batch of Garardian absurdity, George, in a message to Curtis, makes mention of a number of miscellaneous claims:

1. He claims to own 7 dictionaries.

Fine, fine. But that begs at least two different questions; those being: (a.) his "Barney's Guide to Good Speaking English", "Dr. Seuss Dictionary and Pictionary", "The First Heavily Abridged Dictionary for Nescients" and "The How and Why Wonder Book of Big Words" are not exactly germane to this discussion (at least not on the sides of monitors worldwide opposite that from George), and (b.) he has never demonstrated that he has the intellectual horsepower even to understand those simplistic tomes.

However, being in a charitable frame of mind this sunny morning, let's just let those pass without further comment and look at Georgie's central tenet:

2. "Komodo dragons are dragons." - G. Garard, 2/2000

There are two separate and distinct nouns in that little phrase, each subject to it's own scrutiny and examination. George, in his typical inane and ignorant stridulatory manner, cites one and only one definition (from that be-all to end-all compendium of erudition known as the "Collins Dictionary" (Tom Collins, it seems - ed.)), lumping both (as is his wont given his cerebral flabbity) entities into one succinct absurdity.

But, are we to take such mendacity unchallenged? Not as long as the coffee and cigars hold out here...

In opposition to Georgie, I'll consult many more than 7 dictionaries (even he notes in his message to Curtis the availability of information off the Internet. As I know well how that irritates George, I'll use that as one source of information). Also, unlike George, I'll also consult my personal library; which has much more than 7 dictionaries, numerous encyclopedias and a very large number of academic texts on such diverse subjects as biology, zoology, taxonomy, geology, mythology, theology, etc .

But, first we must have some definitions, as all investigation is predicated on definition.

Let's see...Komodo dragon...

<Smiling to myself as I fondly remember my courses in herpetology with Dr. Walter Affenberg>

Taxonomically, the "komodo dragon" is hierarchically noted as being of the:

Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum : Chordata
Class: Reptilia
Order: Squamata
Family: Varanidae
Genus: _Varanus_
Species: _V. komodoensis_

Here's some more background on these fascinating animals:

Common name: Ora, Komodo dragon, buaja darat (land crocodile)

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS:

Komodo monitors are the world's heaviest living lizards. They can grow to a length of 10 feet (over 3 meters), with an average length of 8 feet (2.5 meters) and a weight of 200 lbs (91 kg.). Females are usually under 8 feet and weigh about 150 lbs. (68 kg.).

The Komodo monitor's keen sense of smell, if aided by favorable wind, enables it to seek out carrion up to 5 miles (8.5 kilometers) away. Despite its size, the Komodo is fast moving and agile. They can climb trees and like all monitor lizards they a re good swimmers.

Their teeth are laterally compressed with serrated edges, resembling those of flesh-eating sharks. They have about 60 teeth that they replace frequently and are positioned to cut out chunks of its prey. The highly flexible skull, though not disjointable, allows the animal to swallow large pieces of its food. The Komodo's mouth is full of virulent bacteria and even if its prey survives the original attack, it will die of septic infection later.

Young Komodos up to 29 inches (.75 meters) live in trees and eat insects, birds, eggs, small mammals and other reptiles. They will descend from the trees for carrion.

DISTRIBUTION and HABITAT:

The distribution of Komodo monitors is restricted to the Lesser Sunda Islands of Rinca, Komodo, Flores and the smaller islands of Gili, Montang and Padar. Padar does not have a permanent population. The total range is less than 1,000 sq. km. Komodo National Park makes up all islands except Flores.

The natural habitat of Komodo monitors is extremely harsh by human standards. These arid volcanic islands have steep slopes and little available water most of the year. A short monsoon season often produces local flooding. The average annual temperature at sea level on Komodo island is 80F. Komodos are most abundant in the lower arid forest and savanna.

BEHAVIOR:

In the wild, Komodos are generally solitary animals, except during the mating season. Males maintain and defend a territory and patrol up to 1.2 miles (2 km.) per day. Territories are dependent on the size of the animal. Feeding ranges extend further and may be shared with other males. A monitor will allow other monitors to cross its territory when they are on a food run.

Komodos maintain burrows within their core ranges and occasionally males will swim from island to island over long distances. They regulate their body temperature (thermoregulation) by utilizing fossorial, and other survival, habits.

DIET:

The Komodo is carnivorous, cannibalistic and it has a prodigious appetite. They regularly kill prey as large as pigs and small deer, and have been known to bring down an adult water buffalo. They are opportunistic feeders and will eat anything they can overpower including small monitors and small or injured humans (juvenile monitors make up to 10% of their diet).

REPRODUCTION and GROWTH:

The life expectancy of a Komodo is between 20 to 40 years. In the wild, Komodos are generally solitary animals, except during the rut.

The male Komodo presses his snout to the females body, and flicks her with his long, forked tongue to obtain chemical information about her receptivity. He then scratches her back with his long claws, making a ratchet-like noise. If unreceptive, she raises and inflates her neck and hisses loudly. (Pause to let George towel himself off.)

The female monitors will utilize the nest mound of a brush turkey in which she will lay a clutch of up to 30 eggs. Hatchlings are about 15 inches (40 centimeters) and weigh 3.5 ounces (100 g.).

Juveniles are multi-hued, (yellow, green, grown and gray); with a speckled and banded skin. Adult colors vary from earthen red to slate gray and black.

That is THE definitive "Komodo Dragon" definition.

Now, how about the later half of Georgie's claim, re: "dragon". Well, which "dragon"? Let's have a quick look at some rather wide ranging reference sources and see what they have to say on the subject:

Merriam-Webster

Main Entry: dragˇon Pronunciation: 'dra-g&n Function: noun Etymology: Middle English, from Old French, from Latin dracon-, draco serpent, dragon, from Greek drakOn serpent; akin to Old English torht bright, Greek derkesthai to see, look at

Date: 13th century

1 archaic : a huge serpent

2 : a mythical animal usually represented as a monstrous winged and scaly serpent or saurian with a crested head and enormous claws

3 : a violent, combative, or very strict person

4 capitalized : DRACO

- dragˇonˇish /-g&-nish/ adjective

Looks like Merriam-Webster doesn't seem to agree with neither George nor his Collins. Komodos are not "huge serpents", as serpents are snakes (i.e., pythons, boids and the like), they're most emphatically not mythical; and they're a violent, combative reptile, not person.

So, at this point, in a flash of mutual annihilation, this one reference negates George's Collinistic reference.

But wait, there's more...

Of course, real scholars NEVER stop at simply one definition or source. Let's glance across the field of scholarship and see what others we can find...

dragon:

1. A fabulous animal, generally represented as a monstrous winged serpent or lizard, with a crested head and enormous claws, and regarded as very powerful and ferocious. "The dragons which appear in early paintings and sculptures are invariably representations of a winged crocodile." (Fairholt)

In Scripture the term dragon refers to any great monster, whether of the land or sea, usually to some kind of serpent or reptile, sometimes to land serpents of a powerful and deadly kind. It is also applied metaphorically to Satan. "Thou breakest the heads of the dragons in the waters." (Ps. Lxxiv. 13) "Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder; the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet." (Ps. Xci. 13) "He laid hold on the dragon, that old serpent, which is the Devil and Satan, and bound him a thousand years." (Rev. Xx. 2)

2. A fierce, violent person, esp. A woman.

3. <astronomy> A constellation of the northern hemisphere figured as a dragon; Draco.

4. A luminous exhalation from marshy grounds, seeming to move through the air as a winged serpent.

5. A short musket hooked to a swivel attached to a soldier's belt; so called from a representation of a dragon's head at the muzzle.

6. <zoology> A small arboreal lizard of the genus _Draco_, of several species, found in the East Indies and Southern Asia. Five or six of the hind ribs, on each side, are prolonged and covered with weblike skin, forming a sort of wing. These prolongations aid them in making long leaps from tree to tree. Called also flying lizard.

7. <zoology> A variety of carrier pigeon.

8. A fabulous winged creature, sometimes borne as a coat of arms.

9. <botany> Dragon arum, a West African liliaceous tree (_Dracaena draco_), yielding one of the resins called dragon's blood. See Dracaena. Dragon water, a medicinal remedy very popular in the earlier half of the 17th century. "Dragon water may do good upon him." .

Origin: F. Dragon, L. Draco, fr. Gr, prob. Fr, to look (akin to Skr. Dar to see), and so called from its terrible eyes. Cf. Drake a dragon, Dragoon.

Source: Websters Dictionary

Here, Webster's provides a few more nails for the coffin of Georgie's argument.

While I agree that the Komodo is a "fabulous animal" (although I still have a special place in my memories for Sal, my Golden Nile Monitor), it is not a winged animal.

Further, it is not scriptural, as Komodos do indeed exist. They may be fierce, but both sexes of the species are so; they are not groups of stars, they are animals. Further, they are not marsh gas, guns, nor small arboreal reptiles (in fact, they're the largest species of extant reptile), they're not carrier pigeons, nor are they plants.

Well, that's 2 against now...

Let's look some more:

From Darrington (1996): Dragon (noun.) 1. Mythical monster like reptile usually with wings & claws and often breathing fire; (with allusion to legends) watchful guardian of treasure dragon; the (old) dragon, Satan; lizard of genus _Draco_ with winglike structures.

Nope. Not here either. That's 3.

And another:

THE DICTIONARY OF PHRASE AND FABLE BY E. COBHAM BREWER, FROM THE NEW AND ENLARGED EDITION

Dragon: The Greek word drakon comes from a verb meaning "to see," to "look at," and more remotely "to watch" and "to flash."

The animal called a dragon is a winged crocodile with a serpent's tail; whence the words serpent and dragon are sometimes interchangeable. {But still not a Komodo}

From the meaning a watcher we get the notion of one that watches; and from the meaning "to flash," we connect the word with meteors.

"Swift, swift, ye dragons of the night: - that dawning May bare the raven's eye."

Shakespeare: Cymbeline, ii. 2.

This word is used by ecclesiastics of the Middle Ages as the symbol of sin in general and paganism in particular. The metaphor is derived from Rev. xii. 9, where Satan is termed "the great dragon." In Ps. xci. 13 it is said that the saints "shall tra mple the dragon under their feet." In the story of the Fall, Satan appeared to Eve in the semblance of a serpent, and the promise was made that in the fulness of time the seed of the woman should bruise the serpent's head.

Another source of dragon legends is the Celtic use of the word for "a chief." Hence pen-dragon (summus rex), a sort of dictator, created in times of danger. Those knights who slew a chief in battle slew a dragon, and the military title soon got co nfounded with the fabulous monster. Dragon, meaning "quicksighted," is a very suitable word for a general.

Some great inundations have also been termed serpents or dragons. Hence Apollo (the sun) is said to have destroyed the serpent Python (i.e. dried up the overflow). Similarly, St. Romanus delivered the city of Rouen from a dragon, named Gargouille (waterspout), which lived in the river Seine.

From the idea of watching, we have a dragon placed in the garden of the Hesperides; and a duenna is poetically called a dragon:

"In England the garden of beauty is kept By a dragon of prudery placed within call; But so oft the unamiable dragon hath slept, That the garden's but carelessly watched after all."

T. Moore: Irish Melodies, No. 2 ("We may roam through this world," etc.).

A spiteful, violent, tyrannical woman is called a dragoness.

The blind dragon, the third party who plays propriety in flirtations. "This state of affairs was hailed with undisguised thankfulness by the rector, whose feeling for harmony had been rudely jarred by the necessity of his acting the blind dragon" - J. O.Hobbes: Some Emotions and a Moral, chap. iv.

Dragon in Christian art symbolizes Satan or sin. In the pictures of St. Michael and St. Margaret it typifies their conquest over sin. Similarly, when represented at the feet of Christ and the Virgin Mary. The conquest of St. George and St. Silvester over a dragon means their triumph over paganism. In the pictures of St. Martha it means the inundation of the Rhone, spreading pestilence and death; similarly, St. Romanus delivered Rouen from the inundation of the Seine, and Apollo's conquest of the python means the same thing. St. John the Evangelist is sometimes represented holding a chalice, from which a winged dragon is issuing.

Ladies guarded by dragons. The walls of feudal castles ran winding round the building, and the ladies were kept in the securest part. As adventurers had to scale the walls to gain access to the ladies, the authors of romance said they overcame the serpent-like defense, or the dragon that guarded them. Sometimes there were two walls, and then the bold invader overcame two dragons in his attempt to liberate the captive damsel.

A flying dragon. A meteor.

The Chinese dragon. In China, the drawing of a five-clawed dragon is not only introduced into pictures, but is also embroidered on state dresses and royal robes. This representation is regarded as an amulet.

The Green Dragon. A public-house sign in compliment to St. George.

The Red Dragon. A public-house sign in compliment to Henry VII., who adopted this device for his standard at Bosworth Field. It was the ensign of Cadwallader, the last of the British kings, from whom the Tudors descended.

Here's a whole batch of draconian definitions that nowhere near agree with George. Hear that hammering? The lid's been slammed and the nails are being Hilti'ed in...

And yet, some more:

The Encyclopedia Mythica Dragon by Graig Bakay

"Few creatures of folklore and mythology conjure up the mental images of the dragon. Also known as wurm, wyrm and firedrake, these mercurial creatures pervade almost every pantheon of classical mythology and have become an integral inclusion of an entire genre of fantasy literature.

Descriptions of the beast's benevolence vary from the playful Puff (of Peter Yarrow's song) to the sinister Smaug in J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Hobbit". Babylonian legends portray the Queen of Darkness as a multi- headed dragon - Tiamat. Walt Disney's Sleeping Beauty features a battle between Prince Phillip and the evil Maleficent and the Germanic myth "Die Nibelungen" climaxes with the battle between Siegfried and the giant Fafnir, who has transformed himself into a wyrm in an effort to become more frightening.

Physical characteristics of dragons also vary but several consistencies are usually present. The beasts are typically depicted as huge lizards, larger than elephants on average. Long fangs are generally accepted as are twin horns of varying length. Western cultures generally include large bat-like wings giving the dragon the capability of flight. But eastern dragons, usually wingless, use a more magical means of flying. As well, eastern dragons tend to be more snake-like in nature, albeit with front and rear legs.

Most dragons will be covered in scales, although there are some with a leathery skin. Coloring ranges the entire gamut of the spectrum but red, green, black and gold appear to be the most common. It is also generally accepted that most dragons are ma gical creatures in nature and have the ability to breathe fire (as a weapon). Some dragons may have a modification in this breath weapon (frost, lightning, gas) but this appears to be purely a fabrication of fantasy role-playing games and the myths they spawn."

You know you're in trouble when even Walt Disney and Wagner provide evidence against your claims.

And even more:

Easton Bible : Dragon - (1.) Heb. tannim, plural of tan. The name of some unknown creature inhabiting desert places and ruins (Job 30:29; Ps. 44:19; Isa. 13:22; 34:13; 43:20; Jer. 10:22; Micah 1:8; Mal. 1:3); probably, as translated in the Revised Ve rsion, the jackal (q.v.).

(2.) Heb. tannin. Some great sea monster (Jer. 51:34). In Isa. 51:9 it may denote the crocodile. In Gen. 1:21 (Heb. plural tanninim) the Authorized Version renders "whales," and the Revised Version "sea monsters." It is rendered "serpent" in Ex. 7:9. It is used figuratively in Ps. 74:13; Ezek. 29:3.

In the New Testament the word "dragon" is found only in Rev. 12:3, 4, 7, 9, 16, 17, etc., and is there used metaphorically of "Satan."

Even the Bible (that great tome of legend, lore and illucidity) says that Georgie's all wet.

Here's even a few more:

From Computing Magazine:

DRAGON

1. An Esprit project aimed at providing effective support to reuse in real-time distributed Ada application programs.

2. An implementation language used by BTI Computer Systems.

Nope, still not the Komodo we all know and love.

And even more computing terminology:

Jargon - Hutchison Ave. Software

dragon n. MIT A program similar to a daemon, except that it is not invoked at all, but is instead used by the system to perform various secondary tasks. A typical example would be an accounting program, which keeps track of who is logged in, accumulates load-average statistics, etc. Under ITS, many terminals displayed a list of people logged in, where they were, what they were running, etc., along with some random picture (such as a unicorn, Snoopy, or the Enterprise), which was generated by the `name dragon'. Usage: rare outside MIT --- under UNIX and most other OSes this would be called a `background demon' or daemon. The best-known UNIX example of a dragon is `cron(1)'. At SAIL, they called this sort of thing a `phantom'.

See above. 'Nuff said.

Even the Military rings in with:

Dragon

(DOD) A manportable medium antitank weapon, consisting of a round (missile and launcher) and a tracker that provides antitank/assault fire of infantry platoon level for employment against tanks and hard point targets such as emplaced weapons or fortifications. Designated as M-47.

Comment unnecessary.

How about this, one from my own particular specialty:

Mining, Mineral, and Related Terms - U.S. Bureau of Mines

Dragon: "A barrel in which muck is raised from a shallow shaft."

I'll leave the Garardian symbolism to the reader on this one...

Well, George's "argument" is annihilated from zoological, Scriptural, technological, geological, military, poetic, fantasy literature, et al., standpoints.

However, in all fairness, I did find one reference that might just apply to Georgie and his fanciful dragon fixations:

From, of all places, Griebel's Dream Symbols:

"dragon yyy; is a fabulousmonster (fabulousmonster: a creature of your own imagination)",

which, of course, begs the question of "Does George possess an imagination"?

That presupposes that he possesses a mind.

And we all know the answer to that question.

SLAM!