KNOWLEDGE REPORT / JEFF LITTON / LISA MCPHERSON
This KR with all those private and personal details revealed
and written down makes me think of the book "1984" where every
detail of the private lives of people are monitored and
recorded by "Big Brother". This information cannot ever be
recovered and destroyed. It can be looked at by anyone in a
position of authority in the cult. The Co$ fills me with
disgust.
Jeff Litton Ethics File
Jeff Litton
Lisa McPherson Ethics File
FLAG MAA
Lisa McPherson - Flag Local Public 9-29-95
KNOWLEDGE REPORT
JEFF LITTON
LISA MCPHERSON
I have been connected to Jeff Litton since February of last year. He has
always made himself and been available to' help me with Ilmaintenance
man" type duties and has extended his help to me on many occasions as I
have him. We have hung out together quite a bit as well. I had, last
year, tried to mock up a 2D with him but he did not' want to and so we
did not. Af ter I broke up with my f ormer boyf riend in May of this
year, Jef f and I connected back up and started staying in comm. Here
are some of the things that went on during this time:
The thing that kept happening for me was I continued to feel a reach for
him in the area of the 2D and I would usually tell him that my
intentions toward him were leaning more-in the direction of the 2D
instead of the 3D. We would always discuss it, usually at length and
each time the conclusion was that it would not work because I did not
completely fit his.ideal scene, we were friends but he said the 2D scene
with me just did not appeal to him. I also could not honestly say that
he aligned to my dynamics completely either.
Around March, I had just broken up with my boyfriend (same one as from
May but an earlieri break up), Jeff and 1 had dinner one night at
Harrisons and we were talking about-the 2D and how easy it was to get
into but not so easy to get out of. I told him that I had decided what I
felt I needed to do for my 2D is to date for at least 6 months first,
before any commitment is made and that admin scales need to really be
done 'and a good non e really couldn, t be accomplished in 2 weeks, in
my opinion. He told me then that if I ever wanted to npracticell with
him, doing a real good thorough non-e and admin scale, that he would be
happy to do it and to let him know. I took this as an intent to test the
waters with me to see if I had any reach for him on the 2D, that was
strictly my dub-in to his remark. I dismissed the remark.
We have always had physical attraction to each other and have not, for
the most part, ever suppressed it. So,' since May, almost every time we
would see each other (at least 80% of the time), we would hug or kiss
(sometimes quick, sometimes long and wet) openly displaying our
affection. Our hugs (80% of the time) included me pushing my breasts
intentionally against his chest and his hug contributed to that motion.
I encouraged this activity most of the time I did get puzzled one
time and asked him Oso, if you are not interested.in having a 2D
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with me, what are we doing always hugging and kissing?" we would
conclude that it was "just our gamell and we both really enjoyed it. I
would think in my mind, well, maybe he really IS considering a 2D with
me but he just doesn't want to openly commit so hels easing into it
quietly. I never really made him answer the question and 1
definitely"dubbed in my own think on what was happening. This was a
string I left hanging unhandled and was completely reasonable about it.
Once, after May 95, 1 told him I really did not think our actions
displayed an appropriate 3D relationship as I did not act the way I do
with him with my other 3D guy terminals, I wasn't hugging and kissing
other guys, single or not. I told him that I thought we wete calling a
"this" a "that" and I really thought it was something we needed to knock
off. He agreed and we decided that we would stop. But we didn't. Each
time we saw each other we continued to have some sort of physical
contact.
I was just as active in pursuing it as he was'and I never really put my
foot down. I enjoyed the apparent theta comm line and affection, I told
him I loved it and he seemed to enjoy it too. Yet something was nagging
at me about "what ARE we doing if we aren't having a 2D?". We didn't
engage in full intercourse and only a couple of times were we involved
in heavy petting (full details following) so I knew there was something
that didn't add up yet I never pulled it down to investigate.
One time I made a comment like ffwe are,doing what we agreed we wouldn't
do AGAIN!" and he said something like "oh, I don't EVEN want to discuss
this againff. I dropped it and did not pull the string.
I constantly went back and forth with the idea.of having a 2D with him
and we talked about 2D related things constantly. I constantly told him
how much 1 loved him (not ' a mushy, kind of love though). Ild say "I
love you so much, you are my best friendu and I never withheld that I
loved him. He would tell me he loved me too. Sometimes Iwould say Ildo
you love me?" He w'ould always.say yes. I would always share with him my
cognitions about the 2D and I normally kept the comm on this subject to
some degree or another.
We would openly say things like, I would ask nis your penis erect" or he
would say my nipples were (modifier here, can't recall and exact one he
ever used), these comments were laughed off. This was treated as
commonplace in our conversations. This was "normal".
Once we went out dancing, we danced close, we walked arm in arm, we held
hands coming and going. we kissed each other across the table.
Once he came over to-my apartment and we were in my bedroom listening to
music. We danced close to 2 or 3 songs and we rubbed our bodies together
where I was rubbing on his leg and he was rubbing on mine. I felt his
penis get erect and continued, knowing this. This lasted about 5 maybe
10 minutes. He left directly afterwards.
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Once he came over and we were laying on my bed listening to music. We
laid together for almost an hour, our bodies were touching, I was laying
on him like I would my 2D. We teasingly kissed wet kisses. Gloria, my
roommate, came in and he jumped a bit and moved to a different position.
It was a missed withhold for me. I got this off in session.
Once while I was on an intense auditing program I came out of session
and saw Jeff in the HGC. We hugged and kissed a quick kiss. I asked him
what he was doing and he said nothing was planned so I asked him to come
over to my apartment. He suggested we go.. swimming. Once we were in the
pool and.got close toieach other we started a cat and mouse game where
he would try and ~atch me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs
around his middle a couple of times. We kissed. Brushes were made across
my breasts unprotested. It was very close to Ilcrossing the linel' for
me. I wrote it up to my auditor the next day and it was addressed in
session. I told Jeff later that same week that I really felt it was a
danger condition for me and didn't he agree he should do it also based
on the fact that we had earlier agreed we were not intending to have a
2D so this type of activity should not be on the line. He said no he did
not agree that he should do danger. He said he.didn't care. That he
didn't think about it being out ethics anymore and he really could care
less. I ignored this and did nothing.
Once a fellow worker of mine said something like III didn't know you and
Jeff Litton were married!" I told him we weren't, we were just good
friends, I noted the observation though.
Another time someone else commented that Jeff and I were 2Ds and I set
them straight but I don't recall who it was.
I told him many times that I thought he was an ideal scene for me
and my 2D. I proba ' bly told him 10 or more times from May to
September. One time I recall him telling me directly that I would
not really be ideal for him as he was wanting a 2D to work with him.
Other remarks were made by both of us from time to time that were
indirect and implications that a 2D would not work, yet we kept the
physical part going. I wondered many times if he really did want a
2D but just couldn't confront the commitment.
September 15th, my graduation for Clear, we had dinner together at the
Thai food restaurant. I had left a message for Jeff asking him if he
wanted to play with me after graduation, it was like a kid asking Odo
you want to play?". At dinner, the first thing we did was kiss a wet and
passionate kiss reaching each other across the table. He said that he
got my message and that he would really like to but his libido was high
and he really was having a hard time of it. He said'he had really been
very horny lately and if he got around me he knew he would not be able
to control himself and he would attack me. I told him I trusted myself
and I could keep my ethics in and I could keep his ethics in too. He
said ok. After graduation we went to my apartment.
We danced in the living room close, affectionately like lovers for 4
or 5 songs. We went into the bedroom and layed on my bed, we kissed
with tongues very active, we rubbed each others body parts,
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avoiding overt contact with the genitals yet a couple of times we would
Ilaccidentallyll brush a hand over a buttock or a breast or a penis,
making it appear unintentional but I knew differently. It was sort of
tacit that he was sleeping over, he turned over to go to sleep and'I
took off my top to get more of his attention. We rubbed some more. He
kissed the inside of my thigh so close to my vagina I jumped, I rubbed
across his penis intentionally. So here we go again. We are not 2Ds yet
we are doing this sexual activity. 1 asked "what are we doing". Jeff's
reply was Ilwell, my ethics go in and out on it and I just really don't
care". A red flag went up in my universe and I backed up fast. I
toldiiiim that I was out ethics for encouraging him and that if he was
oue ethics then the thing to do was for me to take responsibility
forlhim and help him through.it. I told him I could do RPEC or
conditions or any kind of handling he needed to get it handled. He did
not originate wanting my assistance; I told him I really thoughtit would
be best if he leave. He did.
I looked at what I needed to do to help handle him but never 8C'd
anything through. He had been trying to get in to see Marcus, the MAA,
on his petition cycle and I daily.TR3d that and had been for the past 3
weeks. I recognized my own failure to hold my position with him and how
I was setting a lousy example. I read An Open Letter to all Clears and
got what I had done was gross. I decided to set it straight and get my
ethics in.
The next time I saw Jeff I originated that I wanted to help him on his
conditions. He said that no one could duplicate Ilhis realityll of the
conditions and that no one had ever successfully helped him apply the
conditions and it'always-ended up.people evaluating for him and he
didn't like it. I told him I wasn't interested in explaining-the
conditions but that Ild helped a lot of people on it in the past and he
was my friend and Ild be very happy to help him as well. That I wanted
to do whatever possible to get his scene cleaned up. He had noreach. I
dropped ite.4
Our comm, line continued in the vein of calls everyday, "honeyn'and
"darling" titles by both of'us, invitations to dinner, plans of when are
we going to see each other again? Ilm still thinking, well, hell, maybe
it's moving along here and he secretly does want a 2D with me. That was
the easiest thing to confront.
On September 22 Jeff came over and we sat in my living room. We turned
on the music and just sat back listening to it. we kissed. I kept my
breasts away from him and held his hands to his chest so he could not
touch me. But I kissed him like Ilve never JcIssed anyone before. It
lasted about 5 minutes, tongues sucking inside each others mouths, I
sucked on his lip, we licked each others mouths. We created every motion
with a tongue you could with a penis. WOW, WHAT A KISS!!! We both
marveled at what we had done. Even though no genitals were touched I
sure felt like Ild just been involved in some heavy foreplay. I sent him
home directly.
Later when we talked we both comm ented on what an incredible kiss we
had made.
Sometime the early part of September while we were talking on the
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phone, he suggested we run a Opilot programm on the 2D. It was his
origination and I completely dubbed it in as an invitation to pursue
the 2D on a safe gradient for him. Twice we talked about this pilot
program in some detail and off and ' on during our conversations it
would be mentioned * as our new game. I asked him how long did he
think it should last and he said two weeks. He said we could resign
if it went well for the first two weeks. I asked him how would it
be different than what we already had existing, what was his idea of
how it should be? I don't recall his answer. I asked him if we would
have sex? He said that,would be up to me. I was definitely running
with this plan seriously and made no indications otherwise. I asked
him Ildo you have ANY considerations about the physical aspect*of
our
relationship whatsoevei~, the fact that THAT part would work?" He
said "yes". I was flabbergasted. So I asked Ilyou mean to tell me
that with ALL the loving and hugging and kissing and carrying on and
how our bodies get alon'g together that you think there could be a
problem?!?" He said yes. So I said Ilhow so?". He said he wondered
if, after we have*sex things would be wierd and uncomfortable like
they sometimes are in a 2D. I think Ilwell, this is a legitimate
concern, I wouldn't necessarily want to be restimulated with sex
either.11 The next night on course I'm~reading in Dianetics about
sex and how restimulative it is and realized I needed to address
this with Jeff so he dould be more cause over it and the solution
was to just keep our TRs in, or whatever handling we felt
appropriate to keep it from creating restimulation. The point being,
there was tech to handle it and we could.
I am thinking, now this could work possibly, I told him at least twice I
was thrilled with the idea of us doing a pilot and I thought it was a
great idea, let's just do it and see if we ARE compatible. He agreed.
Thursday, Sept 28 1 called Jeff after I got out of course. I wanted to
go over this sex restim thing and see if there were any other concerns
he had before we officially began the pilot. I was in a very good mood
and I started off in a sort of challenging mood telling him we needed to
talk about some things and he needed to put his gloves on, he asked his
real gloves or his theta gloves, I told him his theta gloves! I told him
I had something I needed to
with him concerning our pilot program. WA decided to go to dinner.
At the restaurant, he adm itted his ruds were out, he didn't recall if
held eaten lunch and he had only gotten 5 hours sleep the night before,
two days earlier he-had stayed up all night working. I told him it was
gross that he let his body ruds go out so--bad. He said he had no choice
with his schedule.the way it was, he had a lot to do. I asked if he had
the help could he use it, not necessarily me, but a trained artist. He
said sure. I told him my dept one was pretty good and I could definitely
round up some people to help him. He commented that he couldn't wait for
an auditor to ask him about out rudiments of LONG DURATION because he
DEFINITELY had them, he had ARC breaks of LONG DURATION.and problems of
long duration and withholds of long duration and to just have those
things addressed would be all he needed. He remarked that he had always
had a hard time being-straight with me, I asked him why and I don't
recall getting an answer. He asked me what did I want to talk to him
about
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anyway, concerning the pilot program. I asked him if the sex thing could
be handled to his satisfaction, was there ANYTHING else he was concerned
about or had his attention on. He asked me what did I mean by Ilthe sex
thing?" So I demold it on the table. I took two creamers and said now
here we are. I took two sweet & lows and put them in from of the two
creamers and said, now this is our comm line to each other, this is the
theta, the fun, the game, the love and care and ALL the things about our
comm line that make it what it is. I then took the salt shaker and put
it in the middle of the sweet n lows and,said now from what I understood
you to say earlier, your concern is that..sex (being represented by the
salt shaker) could potentialily ruin or upset our special comm line, is
that correct? He pointedito the sweet n lows and said "but what is THIS
exactly?" as if no explanation had been given whatsoever, I had just
told him what that represented was our comm line and the special quality
of it. I got confused about what his question was so I went on to say:
well, herels the bottom* line, . as far as Ilm concerned, in a 2D the
comm line IS the most critical thing there is, it is the vehicle which
steers the activity and improves its ' survival so if it is not strong
and functioning then the whole activity can go to pot. The 2D can only
be created from what that comm line allows.
He then said he had something to tell me, that it was hard'for him and
it was probably just as well hi=E4 ruds were out because otherwise he
probably never would say what he was*about to say. He said that when he
introduced the idea of the Ilpilot programn to me, that. deliberately
"baitedu me and that he didn't, never has and probably never will have
the intent of mocking up a 2D with me. He said he wanted to let me know
because he could tell I might be starting to take him seriously. Then it
hit me, something is awfully wrong with this picture. I felt pretty
enturbulated and told him so, I tried to explain that I was not upset at
the fact that he did not want-to have a 2D with me, it was more like an
invalidation that I felt. Here I had mocked this up to be some sorE of
incredible theta, super special, close, intimate, best friepd kind of
comm line (2D or no 2D) and what is happening is it just cAimbled to
bits. I asked him if he knew that I had had 2D ints for him and he said
off and on, yes. I asked more woffft or more non", he said more nonn but
it really depends on what.time frame we are talking about. I asked since
May 95 up to the present, would you say you have perceived my intentions
as more off or more on? He said more,on. So you have known that I hav=E4
wanted to have a 2D with you and that I was pushing that? He said yes. I
asked him, then why did you feel the need to "bait" me? You already
knew-I was interested,.what purpose did baiting serve you? I think he
said that he just wanted to test the waters to see what it might reveal
but I do r=3D recall exactly, it was at this point that I became the most
enturbulated so I don't know for sure what the answer was. 1 shed a few
tears. I was actually surprised at my reaction and noted it was
non-optimum. I told him it was quite a loss for me, this idea I had that
our comm line represented something special but that I recognized I was
not innocent in it and that I definitely had a motivator and pulled this
in so I obviously have not confronted something but that I .definitely
would. That I wasn*lt happy about what I had just learned but that I
didn't Ilblamen him for my upset. My concern equally was what did he
intend to do about it. He said that he just needed to go in session. He
said that he also recognized his integrity was out
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and exactly what point it was that was out. I said which. He said the
one that says your integrity to yourself is more important than your
body. Because he got these urges from the body and he knew that he
really should not pursue them but that.he did anyway.
I drove him home and he said that he really did love the theta of
our comm line and our game and how we da * nced and played together and
that was something he really didn't want to lose. I forget what I
said but it was a short ack. Then he put his hand on my back and
said how he really wanted to kiss me goodnight but that he would
feel (something, 1 don't recall exactly), wierd or funny is probably
the best concept I can think with. 1 told him I really didn't want
him to kiss me. He said that he wanted me to know that I could call
him ' anytime, day or night, even if it was at 3:00 a.m., it did not
matter, I could call him if I needed to talk. I thanked him and
drove home.
Additionally, since I have known Jeff, he has had an unhandled debt to
the IRS which he has been working on to handle by offering the IRS
counter offers yet I believe this is still not completely handled.
He had an incident occur on his lines last spring which he reported(-ID
nie) as an injustice concerning another local Scientologist that could
have an ill-effect on his reputation which to my knowledge is still
unhandled.
He has been incomplete on Grade Zero for 10 years.
He has an incomplete petition to resolve hie status as an illegal PC and
that has been ongoing for at least the past year. He did tell me he is
working on getting a local Scientologist, Debbie Ward, to help him reg
other Scientologists-to put money on their credit cards to help get hie
intensive as quickly as possible.
I know he has spoken to Bennetta Slaughter concerning some work ehe has
for him which he said ehe agreed to advance him the money in order to
pay for hie intensive, this was about two weeks ago I believe and to my
knowledge this has not been completely done.
Another person I know has agreed to deliver his security check provided
it can be approved by Flag.
I personally had his PC folders *(via my D of P) retrieved from the tank
and delivered to the MAA, Marcus at FLAG, in order to get his ethics
cycle expedited so progress could be miade on hie pr-agram. To my
knowledge nothing has moved on it and according to Jeff, he has made at
least 5 attempts to meet with the MAA. '
He told me he wrote Sr. CIS Int'to report that his cycle was bugged so
some action could occur on it, this was about a month ago.
Jeff is extremely talented as an artist ahd has contributed a tremendous
amount to the PR of the Church-through his good works. I consider him to
be someone very worth salvaging.
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This is true,
Lisa McPherson
