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[This O/W appears to be written about the day in July when she ended up at the Fort Harrison Hotel for her first babywatch. At that time, she'd gone to another chiropractor and then Jeanne DeCuypere had her receptionist tell her over the phone that she was in treason.]
[4653]
[The top is cut off. The date appears to be "10/27/95"]
[in handwriting:]
10/27/95
Lisa McPherson
[Typewritten]
1. I blew from my post.
2. The day I spoke to Jeanne. It was at AMC that I decided to blow. I had stayed with Brenda the night before and did not plan to go into the office at all that day. TC came to get me and said that I had to come to the office, Brian Rakestraw ordered. I sluggishly got dressed and forced myself to go in. I did not want to and blamed it on my case. I went in to see Mr. Rakestraw in Bennetta's office. He told me that I had a post and whether I was the Mag Manger or not that I needed to come to work every day and do something. I had no intention of doing that and just nodded in agreement to him as if I agreed. I realized that I was going to have to start coming into the office regularly instead of when I wanted to which is what i had been doing. I left to go to the org and then the scene occurred with Jeanne and I ended up not having to come back to the office at all. This was an intended action. I was relieved to learn that I had been ordered to stay on the base and that I did not have to go back to the office. I acted like it was the CS's idea but it was actually my postulate. My group was put into massive enturbulation as a result. All my comm lines were cut to my group. The people who had depended on me for so long were not able to reach me or help me or communicate to me. They were not sure what had happened to me and were deeply concerned about me. Many hours of worry were consumed. Losses were probably restimulated to the max. My best friend went PTS. People had to "be careful" of me.
Subject: Lisa McPherson O/Ws 10/25/95
From: "Webmaster - www.lisamcpherson.com" <info@lisamcpherson.com>
Organization: Friends and Family of Lisa McPherson
Message-ID: <Xns91EAD8BDC484Dmirelesonicnet@208.201.224.154>
Date: Tue, 09 Apr 2002 04:15:59 GMT
It doesn't appear that these have been posted before. (They're in a different part of the CWPD CD.) There are one or two more days coming.
Webmaster www.lisamcpherson.com info@lisamcpherson.com
[4652] 10-25-95
O/Ws LISA MCPHERSON
1. I ignored my third dynamic conditions and did nothing to get them done expeditiously. [in handwriting:] AND CRASHED MY STATS
2. When I returned to post after having attesting [sic] to Clear on September 11. I went to my office and sat down, experiencing the key out from having attested. I felt wierd [sic] about my work scene and I looked at what condition I was in or needed to apply after this whole matter was resolved. I never fully confronted what the condition actually was that was running. I went to do my Sunshine RD and never looked back at this again that day.
This week my stats crashed as the condition was never correctly spotted and handled. The ED is having to intervene heavy into my area in order to get production for my failure to have handled my own condition. this is a critical time that attention should be on expansion, not having to product officer me, an experienced person. This is creating dev-t for the senior execs to get production occuring.[sic]
1. I ignored my responsibility to handle my conditions on the third dynamic. [in handwriting:] AND CRASHED MY STATS
2. A time after I attested to clear.[sic] I looked at what my third dynamic condition really was. I looked at what a victim I had been. I decided I really wasn't cause over my case difficulties and that it was too much for me to confront (although I had already confronted it once!). I decided not to confront it at all. This has caused me dev-t for now I am forced to confront it when I am in the middle of dealing with a gillion [sic] other things and had I just handled it when it was first originated by me it would have all been done and ep'd by now. I have lost two valuable days of production time by holding my own stats down in not confronting and handling the correct condition for my third dynamic.
[Label: "FSO 00554"]
Subject: Lisa McPherson O/Ws 11/15/95
From: "Webmaster - www.lisamcpherson.com" <info@lisamcpherson.com>
Organization: Friends and Family of Lisa McPherson
Message-ID: <Xns91EADA096F4BFmirelesonicnet@208.201.224.154>
Date: Tue, 09 Apr 2002 04:23:38 GMT
It doesn't appear that these have been posted before. (They're in a different part of the CWPD CD.)
Webmaster www.lisamcpherson.com info@lisamcpherson.com
[4650] OWs LISA MCPHERSON 11-15-95
1. [The following has been scratched out:] I INTENTIONALLY PULLED BRENDA OFF THE BRIDGE AND CONTRIBUTED TO HER CRASHING IN LIFE. [Replaced with:] I DID NOT APPLY STANDARD TECH KNOWINGLY.
2. AROUND OCT OF 1990 at her house. She was routing off staff and having a rough time of it due to her connections at the time. I came to live with her and took up dancing instead of getting myself back on the bridge. I came in one night raving about how much fun I was having, knowing Brenda was not having such a fun time and creating such a theta production about it I sucked her right in. She told Doug that night that she thought she would go dancing with me sometime which is exactly what I wanted to occur. She routed completely off her staff cycle and blew everyone off who had anything to do with it except me. I stayed intimately on her comm line and continued to drag her down with me. She has been struggleing [sic] ever since. She has effectively crashed her dynamics as a result of my out ethics on her lines. I have done nothing substantially to contribute to getting her back on.
1. I squirreled the tech and never told anyone
2. While I was on staff at CC Int during 1990, around March. I had written Brenda a letter telling her how awful it all was and how I wasn't doing well and flap flap flap. She wrote back giving me exact LRH references on how to handle the situation exactly, just by applying the correct tech. I glanced over the page, noted that all she was instructing me to do was to apply LRH, yawned, and through [threw] it in the trash without any intention whatsoever of ever doing any of the suggestions she gave me. Had I followed her advice and guidance I would have easily and quickly recovered from my demise. By not doing this, I crashed my dynamics and cut every comm line I had at the time. I blew from the SO, I came back to Dallas and resumed my former out ethics life I had before finding Scientology this lifetime.
1. I refused to apply standard LRH and squirrelled[sic] the tech.
2. When I was in Dallas right before I left to go to CC Int. It was in November 89 at the org. Brenda had picked me up and was helping me with an ethics cycle concerning myself and my former husband. She could easily see my PTSness and jumped right in to handle it. She put me on a standard OW write up first. I would not confront my out ethics and continued to rabbit from the cycle. I blew from the OWs, it was in the office in Div 6 where I was posted. I basically decided that I didn't need to do this cycle and went off and did something else. From that point my cycle escallated [sic] to disaster. I hooked up with some So recruiters and joined the So in an attempt to blow from my ethics cycle. I knew that if I originated joining the SO no one could touch me or say anything to me, especially Brenda who was the most determined of all to salvage me. My life went crumbling down, again. I joined the SO, blew from the SO, came back to Dallas blown from the bridge with no intention of getting back on, tried to take Brenda with me, went bankrupt, got to start all over.
[Label: "FSO 00536"]