sbragen asked this question on 4/12/2000:

About 20 years ago, a woman I worked with was verbally harrassing me because I had slighted her.

I had inadvertently discovered a family secret. I found that her family was mafia, but I kept what I knew a secret. She never knew that I knew.

Because of this fact, I never wanted to become overly friendly or involved with her, but did so because I wanted to "keep the peace" in the office and to remain on her "good side". I was often afraid to annoy her.

She has since admitted that I was correct and that her family is in the mafia, but claims it is "just a business".

At that time, she was constantly troublesome at work, verbally fighting with an Hispanic woman, calling her a spic and general harrassment.

She complained daily about "the mexican" and made up stories about other people within the organization. I would get a daily headache because of it.

Although she assumed we were "best friends" I never thought of her that way. I did tell her, however, of personal confidential problems that I had. That, however, was a big mistake.

One day, she asked me if I would cut her boyfriend's hair. I invited them over to my home. I was informed by the police chief of my hometown (through his daughter, whom I was friendly with) that it would be best not to associate with this person, and invite her into my neighborhood. I lived in a sheltered suburb of Chicago.

Consequently, when I moved to a different office, I figured this was my chance to change gears and stop associating with her.

She took offense, felt I slighted her, and started making up stories about me. She told people that I took drugs, stole money from work, fooled around with all the guys at work,was a prostitute and blah, blah, blah.

I was actually propositioned by a fellow employee who was a salesman. He asked if I would go out with a client of his for him.

When I asked him who had told him I would do this, he gave me the name of this woman. I was sometimes afraid at times of getting physically hurt or beat because of this woman's lies.

Once I heard her making up stories about me when I walked into the washroom and caught her in the act. However, I was afraid of her and said nothing.

Anything she could say to make me look bad she would say. (all untrue, I might add, I was actually kind of a goody two shoes!)

I complained about her to my boss, her boss, and to personnel, but they told me to ignore it. They did nothing about her harrassment and they did nothing for the hispanic woman!

I wound up quitting my job because of this and for political reasons, but mostly I quit because of the character defamation.

And then, lo and behold, several years later, guess what? We both wind up living in the same town!! I felt sick when I found out she was here!

Well, once again she starts the same old baloney, calling me a criminal, prostitute, whore, pretty much everything imaginable - blah, blah and blah.

Unfortunately, this woman comes across as "authoritative", "knowledgeable" and "important". They do not know her background as I do. People DO actually believe her lies and I was afraid of her.

Once again, she had defamed my character and reputation. I spoke with a lawyer about suing her for defamation of character, but I felt that I could not win the case. I was also afraid of her "connections". The lawyer said I could send her a "cease and desist" letter. I didn't do it for fear.

Because of this harrassment, I have now got myself in serious trouble with the police.

Because of my anger, I telephone harrassed her many times and sent her silly cards that told her what I thought of her. I did not sign my name.

This happened between January and October of 1994. The calls were just hang up calls, I have never threatened her in any way. However, she called the police because she felt threatened.

Apparently, they have evidence that I was the one making the calls because they told her that they know "I had something to do with the calls". They would like to interview me, but they have no probable cause because I have done nothing illegal since 1994.

Now, of course, I really am a criminal! This woman would like me to either move out of town or be arrested. I know the cops are harrassing me though I basically am a good person.

Now I am now the one getting strange phone calls and strange mail.

I am really upset about this and I am dead serious! Can you give me some advice about this situation? I really do not feel that I am not a paranoid personality but this situation is making me paranoid!

I went to the police station to see if there was a complaint filed against me and they said no. I have asked them if there was anything on my license plate that would cause them to harrass me and they say no. There is no warrant for my arrest. What is going on? Who should I talk to or what can I do about this situation?

Thank you for any advice or help you can offer me!

Detective gave this response on 4/12/2000:

Well I wouldn't suggest "confessing" to the police if they ask about things that occurred in 1994! Okay?

Here are a few other tips:

1) Keep a written journal of everything that is happening. Times of "hang up" calls, all regular mail and email, etc. This can be used for a variety of things later if necessary.

2) If you continue to get harrassing phone calls or even hang ups, go to the local police department and file a complaint. You will need a case number for step #3.

3) Contact you local phone company and put a "trap" on your line. They can monitor every incoming call for a few weeks possibly and when you let them know the exact time and date of a suspicious call, they may be able to verify where it came from. This is getting harder to do because of the advances with technology, cell phones, and people calling from computers which can't be traced back.

4) Use an answering machine CONSTANTLY! Let is record a message on every incoming call. This way if the people "mess up" and leave verbal threats on your cassette tape, it is totally legal and can be used against them and to help identify them.

5) I have a new report on our web site which deals with Stalking. I know it is not the same problem but there may be a few other tips you can use there.

6) Get a dog

7) Get an Alarm

8) Get a cell phone for yourself.

Visit our site at: http://www.tacticsone.com

Well I wish you the best and if you need any specific Private Investigation help, let me know.

Michael Director of Investigations TACTICS Private Investigators tacticsone@earthlink.net

The average rating for this answer is 4.6.

sbragen rated this answer a 5.

Thank you!