"A great big asteroid might be a more humane way to go, methinks." EM
"A lie: terminological inexactitude." -- Winston Churchill
"A negative endorsement from Satan beats a positive one from God." MB
"Adam and Eve aren't going to like this, Yogi..."
"Agorn?" It's Agarn! What's the matter, did you get a F- in F Troop?
"An argument for limited omniscience could be made."- Dan Lafferty
"And the idiot says in his mind that there is a god." - Styx 1:152
"And the inspiration for the vagina was...?" -- Steve Q
"Any damned fool can predict the past. And most do." - Niven
"Any damned fool can believe." Preston Simpson
"Any priest must be presumed guilty until proved innocent." - RAH
"At the center of every BELIEF, there is a LIE." - R. Jackson
"Atheists. I hope they rot in Hell." -- Charles Baldo
"Be fuckers and multiply...." -- Genesis 1:22 (paraphrased)
"Be not righteous overmuch." -- Ecclesiastes 7:16
"Because God told me." -- Jesse Christ Jones (hearing voices again)
"Belief in a cruel God makes a cruel man." -- Thomas Paine (1737-1809)
"Birds gather in flocks; cockroaches gather in congregations." Jonny Vee
"Born again" you say? I believe it: I see you got an infant brain.
"By Webster's definition Hindus are atheists." -John Musselwhite
"By the way, I'll be praying to Satan for your damnation." -- drice
"Cadavers show more REM then he does." -- God Dan Ceppa
"Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions"-Jerry Falwell
"Ciya is a blasphemous tool of your cunning." - Jesse Jones, 9/23/93
"Cleansing a chosen group ... that is sin?" -- Phil Morrison
"Cogito, ergo Dei non est" (I think, therefore I am an atheist.)
"Corollary: Fundies debunking itself will not notice it." - Hector
"Could you continue your petty bickering? I find it most intriguing."
"Creation 'science:' the moron's oxymoron." --- Marty Leipzig
"Creationist nonsense" is redundant.
"Cross those tentacles! We only have five nails." - Cthulhu crucified
"Dirk Pitt wishes he were me. So does Mich Bucannon." -- DRice
"Do The World A Favor-- Drop Dead!" Motto, Human Surplus League
"Do you even know what an ad hominem attack is, dumbfuck?" Becke Jones
"Do you or don't you worship a Jewish hippy?" Ryan Shaw
"Do you worship an evil god or an incompetent one?" - Simon Ewins
"Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd." Voltaire
"Douglas Schwandt" is an anagram for "Gods and cults--Haw!" -- CJ
"Eat shit. 10 billion flies can't be wrong." - Brian Syme
"El O'him: God is an Irish Mexican." J.j. Hitt
"Equal time for astrology in astronomy class!" -- Creationist redux
"Evidence" is a dirty word if you don't have any. - Hector Plasmic
"Evolution has no plan and we live or die by it." - Martin Goldberg
"Evolution: The fossils say no!"- Gish; "Gish is an idiot"-fossils.
"Experience comes from bad judgment." - Mark Twain.
"Faith is believing what you know ain't so." -Samuel L. Clemens.
"Faith is not rational." - Mikey Hardy
"Faith" means not wanting to know what is true.
"Fanaticism ... is religion without integrity." -PAUL SIMMONS
"Fish to Gish" is one example of a complex-to-simple transition.
"Free people write books. Free people read books." -- Franklin
"Friday, put your goat leggings on and try to blend in." -- Dragnet
"Fuck you. Fuck Connecticut." -- David Worrell
"Gentlemen, where's my torpedo?!" -- Kirk
"Get back when you a) grow a uterus and b) get pregnant" J Bandsma
"Go immolate your strawmen elsewhere." - Marty Leipzig
"God doesn't know what does NOT happen!" - Michael Hardy
"God made me do it!" -- Satan
"God never intended Christians to be fools." -- "Kato"
"God told me" is no excuse for stupidity. - Steve Quarrella
"Gravity was invented by Newton." - Jesse Hornbacher
"Guns don't kill people. Christians kill people." - Martin
"Hand me down the shark repellent Bat-spray!" -- Adam West, 1966.
"Hark! What sheet through yonder snatchblock breaks?" -- Drice, bard.
"He has a distinctive voice. Something happened to his throat." - Hylander
"He multiplieth words without knowledge." -- Job 35:16
"He was cut down in a hail of warning shots..." Marty Leipzig
"He who Hecate is lust." --- ShyDavid
"He's not dead, but He died for you!" -- Les Wilcox
"Hell exists because god loves you." - Mikey Hardy
"Hellmark---when you care enough to send the very damnation!" - Al S.
"Hello, I'll be your stud for $1.99 per minute".
"Hemlock Lite: a third fewer pathogens than regular Hemlock." -- ML
"Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a savior out of this virgin!"
"Hey, is there no coprophagus interminus here?" Marty Leipzig
"Hi, Laurie. Your favorite nightmare here." -- Marty Leipzig
"HolySmoke is more popular than Jesus." -- J.J. Hitt to Steve Wallis
"HolySmoke: The Dr. Kevorkian Echo for fundies." -- Marty Leipzig
"Homey, I can see your doodle!" -- Ned Flanders
"Hope is the denial of reality."
"How dare you!" - Richard Thorneycroft
"How talk you, yes. That, do we. Idiot, fucking, you are." - Yoda
"I am a nice PERSON, but I am NOT a doormat." - Judith Bandsma
"I am not a 'boy,' fundyramus." -- Dave Horn
"I believe in a God that doesn't need heavy financing." - Fletch
"I brake for animals; I floor it for Fundies!"
"I c-c-c-can quit any time I w-w-w-want." -- Hector
"I can tell you atheism and christianity don't mix." -- J. Eakle
"I didn't make this up, it says this in the Bible." - Chris Vetter
"I don't want to die now! I've still got a headache!" Arthur Dent
"I feel like a Christian Scientist with appendicitis." T. Lehrer
"I get jumped on, on a regular basis." - Marguerite Kendall
"I give it 4 stars, three bars, and a lemon, just because." - Dan Ceppa
"I have exsanguinated you: dry up and blow away." -- DRice
"I have never had any use for public schools." -- Jim Staal [obvious]
"I have not ignored your wife." - Jesse C. Jones
"I hope Heaven has lots of wildflowers, dancing, and Dr Pepper"--Rucker
"I may be synthetic, but I'm not stupid." - Bishop
"I never confessed logic, merely to have correct faith." - Bro Jimmy
"I refuse to live in your fantasy world." -- David Bloomberg
"I stubbed my toe for your sins, Kenny. Worship me." - Robert Jackson
"I think it's GOOD that everyone becomes food." - Hobbes
"I want you the fuck off of my doorstep" -- Smith & Wesson .44
"I wanted to go to Hell, but they sent me to Toys R Us instead!" - jjh
"I was raised to be charming, not sincere." -- Price Charming, 1990
"I was such a shithead. Of course, I was also a Christian at the time."
"I! Have had! Enough of, you!" -- Adm. Kirk, miffed.
"I'd name them, but I won't embarrass them by using their names" KW
"I'll leave when you stop believing in evolution, and NOT before." - Gatchell
"I'll see your god and raise you superior technology." David Rice
"I'm Spartacus" "I am Spartacus" "I'm Spartacus" "Hi, I'm Glen Campbell!"
"I'm an agnostic shit for brains!" - Bill Wolff
"I'm curious: why *do* mormons eat dead babies?" -- Dr Pepper
"I'm highly offended, being a christian" - Spanky Scott
"I'm... all confused and muddled up!" --- Laurie Appleton (98/9/5)
"I've worked with the mentally retarded that were saved." -- Ken Wiens
"If a black person repents, do they turn white?" -- JJH
"If atheism is a religion, then health is a disease." -- Clark Adams
"If homosexuality really -IS- a disease, can they call in queer?"
"If ignorance was illegal there wouldn't be fundies." - Marty Leipzig
"If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic." - Starwyn
"If they start chewing my books, it's war." --- Curtis Johnson
"If triangles had a God, he would have three sides." - de Motesquieu
"If you are a typical christian, god protect us." Mario Gonzalez
"If you discount congenital stupidity, religion is not genetic." Don M
"If you do not follow Santa, you follow the Grinch." -- Hector Plasmic
"In Cyber-Space, no one gives a damn if you scream." - Steve Rose
"Instant fundy: just add flood water and bake in hell to taste." -- HP
"Is this the New Christianity? Spam-Lying for Jesus?" - Dave Hamilton
"Is your attention span really as short as your dick?" -- Dan Ceppa
"It only gets better for us when we die" -- Scott Brubaker
"It was supernatural, not sexual." -- Ken Young
"It won't hurt 'em, so let's force it on 'em." -- School Prayer
"It's Keh-Keh-Keh-Ken! Cuh-Cuh-Cuh-Comming to kuh-kuh-kuh-kill me!"
"It's OK, Jimmy: Even Jesus would cheat on Tammy Faye."
"It's because you ignored my evidence of the unevidenced!" - M. Hardy
"JFK is dead, John. Deal with it." -- God Dan
"Jan deBoer - fallen, condemned blasphemer!" -- Jim Staal
"Land of milk and honey?" Great...I'm a lactose intolerant diabetic.
"Last one to the salad bar gets burned as a heretic!" Hector Plasmic
"Leave it to an ATHEIST to decide there is no god." -- net.fundy
"Lest we forget, it was Utnapishtim's ark first." Robert Curry
"Let them eat cake." M. Antoinette "Let them eat shit." N. Gingrich
"Liars for science, unlike liars for the lord, never get far." -- MG
"Life lately has been one long doppler shift..." -- Cat
"Listened to MY??? children!!! I think not!!!" - Jerry Wilcox
"Little fish in the big HolySmokian Sea. Right, chum?" --- ML
"Look, I'm not trying to be ignorant." -- Mickey Buchanan
"Love is wonderful. It is women that suck." - Al Bundy.
"Man still bears the indelible stamp of his lowly origin." - Darwin
"May the Cosmic Star Goat have mercy on his reprobate soul." Shelby S.
"Millions murdered by Christians are unable to call it a death cult"FR
"Monsters? I'm your boy." -- Fox Mulder
"More holes in the theory than a wool jacket at a moth convention." ML
"More like a pot calling the MIRROR black...." - Sean M.
"Mulder, toads just fell from the sky." - Scully
"Natural laws have no pity." -- Heinlein
"Nature doesn't cheat - people do." - James Randi
"Nature writes with a spray can, not a ballpoint pen." - Zadeh
"Never turn down an opportunity to piss." -- Gen. George Patton
"No amount of belief makes something a fact." - James Randi
"Noachian Deluge?" "Ignorance inundation" is more accurate!
"Noah" is a helluva lot easier to pronounce than "Utnapishtim." -DM
"Noah's Ark was discovered in 1987. It is no lie!" -- Doug Duke (nut)
"Nothing does it better than armor-piercing shells!" -- Leona
"Nothing says 'I love you' like eternal torture." - Jason Rosendale
"Now please state the theory of creationism." -- Dr Pepper
"Now that dude is WHITE!" - Venus Flytrap
"Obviously your ignorance of western civilization is lacking."-CJ Ray
"Occam's razor says my evidence is better than yours!" -- Jan deBoer
"Oh bother!" said Pooh, as he used Gish's latest as toilet paper.
"Oh shit!" -- Jesus upon opening his fortune cookie at the last supper
"Oh, I've GOT to bless HER!" -- Father Dean Martin
"Oh, very clever Worf. Eat any good books lately?" -- Q
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." -- Heinlein
"One must let faith supercede reason" -- Glen Zilly
"One's faith is all the evidence he needs." - Ken Young (idiot)
"Or it could have been an attack from Satan." -- Ken Young
"Pardon my vomit." -- Karl Schneider
"People believe what they choose to, in spite of the evidence." - M Hardy
"Please don't be blinded by the truth!" -- Mike Salva (to David Rice)
"Pluralitas non est ponenda sine neccesitate" - Ockham
"Pro-life," you claim? Then what are you doing about TOBACCO?!?!
"Professional creationists:" ignorant fundies who lie for a living.
"Reach out and tough yourself." -- Motto, Virgin Hotline
"Real Men Love Jesus." But wear a condom. -- Promise Keepers Motto
"Religion is superstition enslaving a philosophy." -- Inge
"Religion: The original Chain Letter." --- Bob Burcham
"Sacrifice all illusions on the alter of truth." S. Ratner (paraphrased)
"See you in EVOLUTION. Let's rock..." -- Dave Horn
"Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb!" -- Adam West, 1966
"Some of my best friends are UnAmerican." -- Karl Schneider
"Sons of God aren't Gods." -- Mikey Hardy
"Sounds like a job for Cap't. Thorazine!" -- Marty Leipzig
"Spiritually stupid?" That's redundant, you fundie fool. -- SS
"Stop lying for your gods -- it's disgusting." -- Hector Plasmic
"Swaggart is no con man. He is a former televangelist!" - Staal
"Take your stinking paws off me you damn dirty ape!" -- Taylor
"The Book of Mormon is chloroform in print" - Mark Twain
"The Force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded." - Obi-Wan
"The Religious Right are a bunch of NUTS" - Barry Goldwater, 1994
"The Will of God is the sanctuary of ignorance." -- Spinoza
"The enemy of knowledge and science is irrationalism, not religion."
"The flood occured 404 BC, NOT 4004 BC!": - Don Ward
"The fossil record, when played backwards, proves evolution" - F Rice
"The harder I work the more behinded I get." -- male whore
"The more impediments to legislation, the better." -- Heinlein
"The only completely consistent people are the dead." -- Huxley
"The only intelligent fundy...is an ex-fundy." - Steve Rose
"The xians are one live body short of a resurrection." Rudzinski
"There are lesbians here with bugs!" Exodus woman, calling 9-1-1
"There are no correct religions. Only dominant ones." - Rob Burcham
"There is no God." -- The Bible
"They CANNOT make me fight!" - Dan Fielding, patriot
"They do have four legs, Lenny. They also have 2 more legs." -- Jim
"They must have been praying to some cheap, off-brand Lord." J. Vee
"Those 'facts' are meaningless to me. I live by faith." -- Jim Staal
"Those who believe require no evidence." -- Len Young ("Julie")
"Those who have loved God most have loved men least."
"Unleash the atheists! Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of reason!"
"Wait a minute. Those boots. That leather. Those legs. Xena!" -- Samonius
"Warning! The girl is loose and she's using it!" -- _Firestarter_
"We Help You Out." Motto, Suicide Inc. (Limited)
"We can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean." -- Twain
"We don't care. We don't have to care. We're Republicans."
"We shall overcome" - Sung at those who sung it 20 years ago
"What big black helicopter?!" -- Dom Santini, String Hawke, Janet Reno
"What if I prefer going to hell than to your heaven?" - Gopal Agrawal
"What is gained by fear will be lost when fear abates." - Ghandi
"What makes you think I give a shit?!" -- God
"What the hell was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima.
"What you forget is that no one has a right to live." -- Ken Wiens
"When I got to know myself, I learned true fear." - Scott Taylor
"Why did you give a sockit to me?" -- Goldie Hawn, et al
"Wilbur said this was gross!" -- James Staal (pillow talk)
"Will do Satan's work for food." - David Rice
"Will no one rid me of this troublesome priest?!" -- Henry II
"Would you care to smell the bottle cap?" - Steve Martin
"Xenu is no match for Xena, Warrior Princess!" -- drice
"Yield to temptation, it may not pass your way again." - L. Long
"Yo, moron -- he who makes the claim provides the evidence." -- H Plasmic
"You appear to be upset because you're stupid and others aren't" FRice
"You appear to be upset because you're stupid and others aren't" FRice
"You are flawed and imperfect! Carry out your prime directive!" - Kirk
"You can lead a fundy to knowledge, but you can't make it think." HP
"You have a faulty understanding of pinkness." -- David Worrell
"You nescient schmuck." -- Marty Leipzig
"You should be ashamed of your fucking language, Rob." - God Dan Ceppa
"You're a goddamn bald-faced liar, Appleton." --- John Musselwhite
"You're actually right for once, Satan." -- Darryl Gonzalez
"Your god's an asshole and you are created in his image." -- Dan Ceppa
"bite me!" -- John Warner "Why eat shit?" -- God Dan
"xian subculture is Orwellian abuse of language." - jonny vee
"xian subculture is Orwellian abuse of language." - jonny vee
'Never cared for a blow job. Or any other kind of job.' -- Ed Mills
* Origin: John Brawley's Quantum Bait Shop, No. 9 (1:103/903)
...Personally, the fags can go on being homo, if they want. - George Pope
10th Rule of Creationism: Never let facts influence your faith.
12th Rule of Creationism: Improvise...make things up as you go along.
13th Rule of Creationism: Never honestly answer direct questions.
13th Rule of Creationism: Interpret challenge as a personal insult.
14th Rule of Creationism: Change the subject whenever possible.
15th Rule of Creationism: no evidence? Quote "authorities!"
18th Rule of Creationism: Ignore those who show you're ignorant.
18th Rule of Creationism: Build and burn strawmen as often as possible
1945--"Heil Hitler!" 1995--"Ditto, Rush!"
1st Rule of Creationism: Claim evidence...then quietly disappear.
23rd Rule of Creationism: claim superiority for Christian "education"
27th Rule of Creationism: Always appear to know more than you do.
28th Rule of Creationism: Shift the burden of proof to your critics.
29th Rule of Creationism: Hit and run (known as "The Brannan Rule")
4th Rule of Creationism: Never be specific when you can be vague.
5th Rule of Creationism: Lying for the Lord is okay.
7th Rule of Creationism: Never acknowledge your demonstrated errors.
8th Rule of Creationism: Never answer questions that you can avoid.
9th Rule of Creationism: Claim evidence, but never submit it.
> tru: No doubt JFK is also working at Burger King somewhere.
>>> Pardon my driving: I'm trying to reload <<<
A book is the only immortality.
A creationist who accepts scientific evidence? Who is this REALLY?
A day without fusion is like a day without sunshine.
A dollar earned is a penny saved - after Bush.
A god is only as capable as its inventor. -- Robert Curry
A lemming on full afterburners. -- Marty Leipzig
A man with a gun is less dangerous than a man with a Bible and a gun.
A path without obstacles probably leads nowhere.
A person without a religion is like a whale without a harpoon.
A small bird or mouse, left on the bed, tells them you care. - A. Cat
A stiff neck usually supports an empty head.
A virgin girl who is raped must marry her rapist. Deut. 22:28-29
A zealot's stones may break my bones, but gods will never hurt me
Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
After that lesson, I've installed EVERYTHING manually. -- J.J. Hitt
Agra Dagi hates infidels who call him Mt. Ararat.
Ah, yes. The Bible: the Christian's Mein Kampf. - David Rice
Amish pickup line: "Art thee up for some plowing?"
An accommodating vice is better than an obstinate virtue.
An atheist with a Bible is a fundie's worst nightmare!
An elegant weapon, from a more civilized age. -- Obi Wan Kenobi
An improper mind is a perpetual feast.
Anagram: "Fundamentalist Christian" = "Filthier, mad cunts in Satan."
And God said: "Turn on the fucking light!", and there was light.
And god said, "Let there be idiots!" and there WAS Rush Limbaugh.
And then Satan said to God, "But where will YOU find a lawyer?"
Annoy Christians: count their gods in front of them.
Anything that can be laughed out of this world ought not to stay in it.
Argumentum ad bozum non Christii. Debunked!
At first they burn books. Eventually they burn people.
Avoid cliches like the plague -- They're a dime a dozen.
Avoid the Tate's Compass: "He who has a Tate's is lost!"
Azathoth/Cthulhu '96. Could they make things any worse?
BELIEVER.CON found: [A]nnoy [I]nsult or [E]xploit for money?
BTW, why do you worship a god who raped a virgin? - Jason Harmon
Barnum was wrong, it's more like every 30 seconds...
Become a Volcanic Petrologist. Aphanites day.
Beecher's Bible beats King Jame's Bible 100% of the time.
Belief in "Original Sin" replaces "Original Thought."
Belief, believe, believes. Conjugates of the verb "to blindly accept"
Believe in a loving God, infidel, or die!
Believe in the bible? Hell no, I've read it!
Besides, honest christian is an oxymoron. (Heavy on the moron) -- JB
Besides, wouldn't devil's food cake be more approriate? -- Dan Ceppa
Better haggis than Jesus. -- Glen Todd
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Beverly can turn Data off, but only Yar can turn him on.
Bible? Yes, it's right over there next to Grimm's Fairy Tales.
Bigot? Racist? Fundamentalist? Hate women? The Republicans want YOU!
Black widow spiders do it, then eat the male.
Blasphemy is the bulwark of religious rejudice.
Blasphemy is the breastplate of the heartless.
Blasphemy is what an old mistake says of a newly discovered truth.
Blind people don't bungee jump; it scares the dog too much.
Borg-again Christian: reasoning is futile!
Born again people don't seem to get as much oxygen the second time.
Born-Again-Radical-Fundamentalists..... B.A.R.F's
Bosnian Bumpersticker: Religion Stopped 25,000 Beating Hearts!
Brought to you by the letters F, O & D and the number 69
But Mohammed prophets & Mithras makes a killing in a bull Market!
But my assault rifle IS for sport! I use it to hunt BATF agents.
By Webster's definition Hindus are atheists. -- John Musselwhite
Campus Crusade for Cthulhu: If your god's dead blame mine.
Caution: 85.4% of xians are having a bad day and will be obnoxious.
Cherish your doubts, for doubt is the handmaiden of truth.
Chocolate arboreal marsupial bioluminescence? It's coco-koala light.
Chopped cabbage: Not just a good idea. It's the SLAW!
Christian Myth #1: Jesus was white.
Christianity: The Living Word of The Dead God On A Stick
Christianity: Judaism for Windows
Christianity: 30,000 different flavours of the One True Way.
Christianity: Choose from over 30,000 different flavors of dogma
Christianity: A house of cards lacking a first floor. -- gr
Cogito, ergo Dei non est.
Coincidence? No. Cthulhu.
Conan the Librarian..... "Yo book iz ovadue!"
Conservative Rule #5: Anyone who disagrees with you is a fascist.
Coprolite: geological jargonese for "tough shit".
Creationism is to science what Kelly Bundy is to sisters.
Creationism: The "Maxwell Smart" of "science."
Creationism: the belief that common sense is wrong.
Creationism: cretinism augmented by an Alpha (a) and an Omega (o)
Creationist: Why yes, Rome _was_ built in a day.
Creationists put the "Duh?" in Fundamentalism.
Creationists: Transitional forms between idiots and morons.
Creationists: the ignorant telling scientists how science is done.
Crock of SHIT.COM found. Reformatting brain. Fundy level exceeded...
Cthulhu / Limbaugh 1996: Why settle for the LESSER evil?
Cthulic greetings in the destructive Name of our great Cthulhu! - RS
Cure for Creationism: A science education.
DARE to keep the CIA off drugs!
DEAD BABIES GO TO HELL. -- Psalms 58:3
Dead Gods! Onna Stick! Get 'em while they're hot!
Dear Santa: Please send me your list of naughty girls!
Debates are about winning debates, not about what the truth is. - JBrawley
Defend the Constitution from all enemies, foreign & elected!
Deja Moo - the feeling you've heard this bull before.
Democracy: 3 wolves & a sheep voting on what's for lunch.
Difference between Gish and LSD? One's a drug and one's a dope. -- ML
Do YOU trust a religion that won't obey it's OWN laws?
Do not follow in the footsteps of men of old; seek what they sought.
Do not project your neuroses and hates upon God.
Do not try this at home! I am a trained professional fundie handler.
Does God shave Her legs?
Doing my part to piss off the Religious Reich.
Don't Creationists know that it's a sin to lie?!
Don't Panic.
Don't blame me: I voted for Satan.
Don't confuse Anatomy with Pornography.
Don't drink and drive! Smoke pot and fly home!
Don't forget about "First Church of Christ, Abortionist". - Quentin
Don't leave in a huff. Let me call you a garbage truck.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
Dopefish in '96: Vote Ichthyne!
Drink till she's cute. Stop before you get married.
Drop that Bible and come out with your eyes open!
EB> JP> SF> RJ> LY> PM> SS> AO> ER> SP> DL> Stop quoting this.
EVOLVE! Let the creationists exploit stasis!
Education is not filling a bucket but lighting a fire. --- W B Yeats
Equal opportunity heretic.
Equal time for Evolutionary Theory in churches!
Equal time for scientific Santa Clausism!
Et itur ad astra.
Even if you understood women - you'd never believe it!
Even if you ban all books, you can't ban the mind.
Even the smallest of candles burn the brightest in the dark.
Everyone's an atheist after they die.
Evil does seek to maintain power by suppressing the truth. - Spock
Evolution to D. Gish: "Look, I'm very upset the way you turned out..."
Evolutionary scientists do it with increasing complexity.
FAITH HEALING NETWORK: Killing children in the name of Jesus!
Faith constipates the mind.
Faith: an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.
Famous last words: "Forget picking the lock, just kick the door down."
Feed 'em all to Cthulhu.
Fight against injustice! Abolish religion.
Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
Follow the double helix, not the cross.
For further psychoanalysis, insert $10 into Drive A. -- Marty Leipzig
Freely given respect is worth precisely what you paid for it.
From pipeclamps to nun's clothes: what were once vices are now habits.
Fundamentalism: The functionally illiterate trying to sound wise.
Fundamentalism puts the "fun" back in dysfunctional.
Fundamentalism: Please help find the cure.
Fundamentalist motto: "A mind is a terrible thing to use."
Fundamentalism (n.): fund = give cash to; amentalism = brainlessness
Fundy Logic: Lie 1 + Lie 2 + Lie 3 = "God's Truth"
Fundy daughterhood is basic training for fundy wifehood. - Don Martin
Fundys are like baby crows: All mouth and asshole.
G'day, mate...throw another fundy on the barbie!
Gee, there must be hundreds of em! -- Carl Sagan, age 8.
Genitals are people of non-Jewish origin.
Geochronologists will date any old thing.
Get a taste of Religion... Frech kiss a Witch!
Get your forbidden knowledge at alt.religion.scientology
Girlfriend? Yep: a 66 MHz 486 with 256K cache!
Give me all your nickles and dimes. I'm confining you to quarters. ML
Give me back my briefcase...it's valise you can do.
Goat may have created men, but it took Sam Colt to make them equal.
God goes with government like shit goes with ice cream.
God goes with government like shit goes with ice cream.
God says if we tithe $1 million, he'll give us the Mars probe back.
God: colourless, odorless invention, given enough time, kills people
Godly love: "Repent or become fuel!"
Gone crazy, be back later, please leave message.
Gonna put your fist through the monitor and try to kill me, Jimbo? -SQ
Good news: it's "KILL JIM STAAL FOR JESUS" Week here at HolySmoke!
Gross Ignorance: 144 Fundies
HELP!! I'M PREACHING AND I CAN'T SHUT UP!!
HIV is a virus; Pat Robertson is a curse from God.
Hail Stargoat! He could kick Yahweh's butt any day.
Hail to the sun god! He is the fun god! Ra! Ra! Ra!
Have you taunted a conservative today?
He appears to be suffering from Clue Deficiency Disorder.
He didn't lie about dying. He just didn't stay dead. - Al Schroeder
He who dies with the most religion is still dead.
He who lives by the salad bar dies by the salad bar. - Hector Plasmic
He's YOUR God, they're YOUR rules, YOU burn in hell!
He's a scrotum... halfway between a prick and an asshole.
He's a swarthy and moody Feudal Tenant...a dark and stormy knight.
He's the only person alive who goes to a Proctologist for a haircut.
Hefty Condoms...for when you pick up real trash!
Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.
Hell, cars obviously "go against God's design" - he gave us legs. DW
Help fight against a cure for nymphomania.
Here's a moon rock, asshole. Concrete, or rather, basaltic, evidence.
Hi, I'm your personal god for this evening. How many in your cult?
History is the refutation of the "moral world order." - Nietzsche
Hitler claims xianity; so does Ken Young: Coincidence?
HolySmoke: Fundys knee-deep in gasoline throwing matches at infidels.
HolySmoke: Failure to yield to idiots on the Information Superhighway.
HolySmoke: Where the big dogs play rough with the little dogmas. - GR
HolySmoke: Where lovely beliefs are destroyed by nasty, ugly facts.
How did a fool and his money come together in the first place?
How old was Jesus when he got his first hardon? --- Dan Ceppa
Hubris and bullshit do not a pretty combination make. -- Marty Leipzig
I Am A Charter Member Of Mikey Hardly's Truth Filter!
I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have two Xerox machines.
I am NOT a cynic - I just remember last time too well!
I am free to think any way I please. I Corinthians 6:12. - Jim Staal
I asked for evidence & all I got was this lousy Josh McDowell T-Shirt.
I believe in dragons, God, and other fantasy creatures.
I can resist everything except temptation
I can't be a priest--- I don't like little boys
I curse you in the name of Myself. -- Jesus Christ
I didn't say he was a "genius," I said he was a "penis" (i.e. prick).
I enjoy toasting fundies better. Have another Zippo, scarecrow? - M.L.
I had a psychic girl friend who dumped me before we met.
I had proof of the existence of God, but my cat ate it.
I have an inferiority complex, but not a very good one.
I haven't had good hard salami in years. -- God Dan
I know I'm not crazy - the voices told me so!
I never have sex before the first date.
I prefer to view humans as risen apes, not fallen angels.
I really didn't say everything I said. -- Yogi Berra
I said God said it: you'd better believe it! That settles it! -- drice
I see that you weren't fully debugged before release.
I see why you believe this: you are a moron.
I see you are the Jack of Old Quotes, Understander of None. -- God Dan
I sold my soul to Satan. He wanted a refund, but I said, "No."
I support our troops--- against my will!
I was naked when I wrote this....
I wonder if the 7 Krishnas were just having a bad day at the airport
I would rather have a bottle in front of me than a Biblical lobotomy.
I'd invite Jesus into my heart, but my blood needs the room.
I'd like to be religious, but I can't release my grip on reality.
I'd post a Pro-Life saying, but there's no ANSI swastika.
I'd take Aphrodite over Jesus any day. - David Rice
I'd wet my pants if I hadn't already peed. --- Blanche Nonken
I'll take "Murderous Popes" for $200 Alex.
I'm American as apple pie and napalm.... -- Marty Leipzig
I'm Thomas Vail's best friend. And I know where the negatives are!
I'm a lot like evolution. I don't tolerate genetic fuckups either.
I'm having a hard time swallowing this. Can I have a dogma bag?
I'm not a cultist. I just like sacrificing virgins for fun.
I'm so ugly I could make a buzzard throw up. - David Rice, HolySmoke
I'm so ugly, even the tide won't go out with me.
I'm too sexy for this echo, sexy for this echo. . . .
I've compiled a list of your faults. It comes in 10 volumes.
ICR: Institute of Credulous Retards.
IF God doesn't like how I live, let Him tell me, not YOU!
If I have any belief, it is that faith is a dangerous thing. - RBJ
If Ken Wiens had half a brain, his ass would be lopsided.
If common sense can't do it don't expect me to do any better.-RevRon
If it's too good to be true, our taxes must be paying for it.
If nudity was natural, we all would have been born naked.
If one wants definitive idiocy one must seek out the ultimate idiot.
If sheep could cook, women would be irrelevant.
If there were only one god he'd have an ulcer by now.
If thinking is too hard, quote Scripture!
If we believe absurdities, then we shall commit atrocities.
If we can have a school of fish, how about a church of idiots? -- SQ
If you aren't part of a solution, you are a precipitate.
If you ask a Tibetan lama how to deal with the stock market, you're probably being stupid.
In cyberspace, no one knows you're naked. - J. J. Hitt
In the event of the Rapture, expect idiocy to drop 100%.
In this echo, you can't even prove zero. --- Lynda Bustilloz
Instead of praying, may I trill? Hell, any moron can pray. -- Marty
Instead of praying for others, try thinking for yourself. - Hector
Is your denomination BATF approved?
Islam: If shit happens it is the will of Allah.
It's a miracle that there's no evidence of miracles.
It's a pillow, it's a pillow!
It's better to copulate than never.
It's gods all the way up, turtles all the way down. - David Rice
It's not nice to fuck with Mother Nature!
It's time for Bible Bloopers and Practical Jokes!
Jelly, I see you have been over-dosing on stupid pills once again.
Jesus Christ: Imaginary Playmate to Millions of Adults!
Jesus can't perform tricks in front of skeptics (Matt 13:58 Mk 6:5-6)
Jesus is coming in 30 minutes or your next pizza is free!
Jesus must be in jail; that's where everyone seems to find him.
Jesus saves, Moses invests, the Bagwhan spends and the Mongol hordes
Jesus was a Jew, but only on his mother's side -- Archie Bunker
Jesus was a cross dresser.
Jesus wouldn't last long in HolySmoke. - Fredric Rice
Jesus' last words: "Oh, SHIT, that fuckin' HURTS!" - Hector Plasmic
Jewish Dilemma - Free Ham
Josh McDowell: evidence of stupidity that demands a verdict
Kali loves me, this I know, for the Vedas tell me so!
Keep it stupid, simple.
Keep the world beautiful. Properly dispose of your lawyer.
Ken Wiens advocates murdering 12-year old rape victims who abort.
Ken Young is the benchmark for 'dumb fundy'. -- Kay-dub
King Kong died for your sins.
Laurie is right--humans /did/ evolve from Xerox machines. -- Pat Ford
Laurie, maybe you don't realize it... but you are a moron. - J. Christ
Learning is dangerous! Enforce religion!
Leave the binary thinking to your CPU.
Let go of your genatalia and grab a dictionary.
Let us have faith that right makes might. - Lincoln
Lies. Damned lies. And Religion. - S. L. Clemens (somewhat paraphrased).
Life is that brief interlude between nothingness and oblivion.
Life's a bitch... and then you get reincarnated...!!!
Lock your doors and windows: O.J. Simpson's out there.
Look, Chickie. It's your Bible, your rules; YOU go to hell. - Marty
Lot: the only "righteous" man in Sodom, and he raped his daughters.
MINE is a religion. Everyone else's is just a CULT.
MOM'S HINT #129: Teenagers are SUPPOSED to dress goofy.
Magick is Alive, and the Goddess is Underfoot!
Man cannot make a flea, yet he makes gods by the dozens.
Mark 16:15-18. Shall I pour?
May you back into a pitchfork and grab a hot stove for support.
Maybe a month in my twit filter will teach you some smarts. - M Goldbe
Maybe it's your name. Gwenny the Pooh? I mean, how scary is that? -RB
Melenkurion abatha! Minas mill khabaal!
Mememto, terrigena. Mememto, vita brevis.
MilliHelen: The amount of beauty required to launch one ship.
Most people wish to serve God, but only in an advisory capacity.
My father will be spinning in his little box of ashes. -- Dave H.
My mother was pro-choice.
My school is very advanced when it comes to Achedemics - W Williamson
Ned Flanders is my favorate TV actor.
Never fold with an inside straight line like that. -- Marty Leipzig
Never send a monster to do the work of an evil scientist.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Newt does -NOT- speak for me!
Newt proposes to amend Matthew 6:5-6 and the Bill of Rights.
No Special Rights for Make Believe!
No cause is so right that one cannot find a fool following it.
No stems, no seeds that you don't need, Acapulco Gold is--badass weed!
No you cannot call 911! I'm downloading my mail!
No, I expect you to be an idiot. You are meeting those expectations.
No, but you sure as hell implied it, Gerbil Boy.
Noah's Flood--- it just doesn't wash . . .
Norway! But it was Swede of you to ask...
Not a real tagline, but an incredible charcoal broiled soy substitute
Not hungry, not homeless. Will work for sex.
Nothing fails as much as prayer fails.
Nothing is impossible for anyone impervious to reason.
Nothing is wrong with you that reincarnation can't cure.
ORG.ASM not found. Girlfriend not happy...
Of all sexual perversions, celibacy is the most perverted.
Of people born in 1809, 100% who believed in god are dead!
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Only the educated are free -- Epictetus
Only through Cheeses can one find Gouda....
Only well reared women should wear slacks.
Opinions about obviousness are to a certain extent a fuction of time.
Oppose the Contract on America!
Oral contraceptive--- she said "No!"
Origin of Life? Just check my refrigerator.
Ouvrir de l'autre bout
Oxymoron #8: "Gospel Truth"
P.S. Do I have to call you names to get you to answer? --- C Johnson
Password for O.J. Simpson BBS: / / / / DEL 2 ESC
Person + delusion = psychosis. People + delusion = religion.
Pi is equal to 3.0: God has a nasty habit of using base 10.472.
Pickup line: You're under arrest! Place your ankles behind your ears.
Pieces of seven! Pieces of seven! Parroty error detected.
Pious ignorance always regards intelligence as a kind of blasphemy.
Plants need animals like they need a hole in the apical meristem.
Please don't feed or tease the fundies.
Please, God, save me from some of your followers!
Political incorrectness on drive C: - (A)bort (R)etry (P)ersecute?
Politicians aren't born, they are excreted. (Cicero)
Practice random hickies and senseless acts of biting.
Prayer in school? Right after Plate Tectonics in church.
Prayer: A request for annulment of the laws of the universe.
Promise Keepers are just Klansmen without the hoods.
Protect children from a faith worse than death; no Bible in schools!
Prove you love Jesus: kill a doctor for Him.
Pssss! Jesus is dead. Pass it on. - David Rice
Psychic Wanted: Qualified person will know where to apply
Puritanism: The fear that someone, somewhere might be having fun.
Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm? A: Who cares?
Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs? A: More leg room.
Quaker threat: Pardon, brother--thou standst where I'm about to shoot.
Quoting Bible to substantiate Bible is not circular reasoning. - kw
REALLY annoy a Fundie: INSIST on the truth!
Real things leave real evidence. Got any for your imaginary god?
Reality does not care what you believe, for it makes no difference.
Reality is what is. Supernatural is what isn't.
Reason kills Creationism dead!
Red ship crashes into blue ship - sailors marooned...
Religion IS part of our evolution (now a vestigial organ). -Bob Burcham
Religion created the sexual environment it finds so distasteful
Religion: A solution to a non-existant problem.
Religion: The Prozac of the masses.
Religious solicitors should be brutally martyred.
Remember that a kick in the butt may equal a step forward.
Remember, Religious Right: Rome was Christian when it fell.
Remember, it was Utnapishtim's ark first.
Republicans don't need abortions: they eat their young!
Republicans: Keeping our promises to the rich.
Republicans: GOP? Nope--- MWSP (Men With Short Penises).
Ripped the eyes out of anyone for eating fries lately, Dreck? -- JJH
Robert Jackson PREDICTED you would say that! -- J.J. Hitt
Rocks were created in the Big Bang's image.
Rule 1-E of Creationism: Claim evidence...then misquote science
Rules for Escape From Cthulhu: 1) Read the incantation. 2) Escape.
Rush Limbaugh gay? That's enough to make homosexuals homophobic.
Rush Limbaugh: Every Republican homosexual's dream date!
Rush Limbaugh thinks he's a wit. He's half right.
SHIT! That's so funny, I damn near saw god. - David Rice
Sacrilege: "Telling an idiot the truth."
Sacrilege: Anything damaging to things sacred, especially truth.
Saul was a liar, he said so. (Romans 3:7.) - Simon Ewins
Send lawyers, guns and money. The shit has hit the fan.
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.
Shit: Conservatives! Looks like we'll have to blast our way out!
So then I says, "How do I know you're the real angel of death?"
Some people use cocaine, some use alcohol, you use "belief."
Someone needs to come up with the deity equivalent of a nicotine patch
Star Goat SPELLS a lot better than God Dan does --- Judith Bandsma
Studying for exams out performs prayers by 100%. - George Rudzinski
Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
Support "Drawing Down the Moon" rituals in Public School!
Support Invocation in the Public Schools!
Support evolutionary theory. 400 billion Amphibians can't be wrong.
Support the Superstition Equality Amendment!
Support the National Endowment for Creative Misogyny.- J. Falwell
Sure, in fact, I just rewired a stove. Ohm on the range. --- M.L.
Swim, swim, hungry, hungy.
Teenage murderers, gangbangers, carjackers: REAGAN'S CHILDREN
Televison test patterns are more educational than Rush Limbaugh.
Telling an untruth in the Bible Echo would be redundant. -- M Leipzig
Terrified of women, immigrants and black people? Vote Republican!
Thank you for providing another duck-billed platitude. -- Don Martin
Thanks for showing all the originality of a Xerox copy. - P. Humphrey
The 'c' in rap is silent.
The 11th Commandment: "Killing in God's name is OK"
The Bible is evidence that it isn't evidence.
The Bible's accuracy will depend on how well you throw it. -- J.J.H.
The Christian god needs a counselor, not worshippers.
The Church hates a thinker like a robber hates a cop.
The Cosmic Star Goat told us you would not provide evidence. - DC
The First Amendment overrules The "First 'Commandment!'"
The Sage fusses over nothing and thus spoils nothing. - Lao Tzu
The church collection plate is PROOF that prayer does NOT work.
The death of dogma is the birth of reality.
The fool hath said in his heart: "There is a god."
The inspiration in the Bible depends on the ignorance of the reader.
The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time.
The mark of the Beast: ><JESUS>
The name "HolySmoke" oughtta imply that something's burning. - S.A.
The nearer to the church, the further from God - John Heywood 1546
The nuclear family has been decaying for decades. -- Matt Giwer
The only person who is a worse liar than a faith healer is his patient
The sex was so good, even the neighbors lit cigarettes...
The stronger the supernatural beliefs, the worse the inhumanity.
The supernatural is what the Emperor was wearing.
Theological is not. Political correctness isn't.
There is no cause for alarm. And the check is in the mail.
They got the library at Alexandria. They are not getting mine!
They who plant trees love others they will never know.
Think "HONK" if you're a telepath.
This is what churches do to people, then? Makes cowards out of them?
Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.- Randi
Those who follow like sheep will be fleeced.
Thou shalt not eat green eggs and ham - obey thy God, I-am-that-I-am.
To women, men are like big dogs that talk.
Toys are made in heaven, batteries are made in hell.
Troubled by kleptomania? Take something for it.
Try and hide, Human Scum, you will never evade the Cylon Tyranny.
Two is company, three is an orgy.
Unpopular Bible Fact: Christians are bound by OT law. (Mt. 5:17-20)
Up on the roof with the magnum, 7 dead and they blame Marine training
Vahunu seeks vahinie, for South Pacific passage.
Valhalla or Niflhel -- Which for you?
Via con dildo
Victim: One who gives monies to religion... -- Jan Deboer
W.A.C.O - Janet Reno's "Washington Approved Cook Out"
WARNING: Evolution may be hazardous to your bloated ego.
WARNING: Jeffrey Dahmer had Fundamentalist Christian parents!
Waiting for wine: Grape Expectations. --- Marty Leipzig
We are a part of nature, not the masters of it. - jonny vee
We do not refer to the Holy Trinity as Big Daddy, Junior and the Spook
We're not here to discuss religion, we're here to be disgusted by it.
Welcome to Hell! Here's your copy of Windows.
Welcome to our Star System. Now Go Home.
Welcome to the Religious Food-Fight Echo, "Gonzalas"!! Sean Mccullough
Well, a long time ago, I was Catholic. But I got better. - M. Leipzig
Well, paint me red and call me a commie, too! -- Robert Curry
Were you born this stupid, or were you homeschooled?
What can be said about him that hasn't been said about hemorrhoids?
What horrors we visit upon ourselves in the name of religion!
What profit has not that fable of Christ brought us! - Pope Leo X
What you forget is that no one has a right to live. -- Ken Wiens
What's vanilla, vanilla & vanilla? Ice cream clones.
When I gave her the ring, she gave me the finger.
When I hear someone say they want to save my soul, I reach for my gun.
When I want your opinion, I'll read your entrails.
Whenever anyone promises heaven on Earth, expect hell.
Who needs abortion when we've got welfare?
Why are there lightning rods on Churches????
Why would God require that I not think in order to be "saved?"
Windows: The Bush Administration of computing.
Women fake orgasms because men fake foreplay.
Wreck the Malls with Cows on Harleys (moomoomoomoomoooo moomoomoomoo)
Write drunk! Edit sober.
Xianity: "There but for the grace of reason go I." - Frederic Rice
Yes, I've tried my hand at sex.
Yes, my god exists! I carved him from wood myself.
You can lead a fool to logic, but you can't make him think.
You complain about the effect -- try complaining about the cause.
You don't have a messiah. You have a dead god on a stick. -- God Dan
You fucking retard! (Hey, this is fun. You're next, dickweed.) -- ML
You get more with a kind word and a gun than with a kind word.
You have learned to emulate the sliminess of the pulpit very well.-RC
You might as well ask a blind pig how to lay an egg. -- Karl Schneider
You want Creationism taught in school? Er, before or after astrology?
You're in a class all by yourself....everyone else graduated!
You're so ass backwards, you piss out the rear of your pants. -- ML
You're the best straight man we atheists could pray for. -- Marty
Your face reminds me of a crate of squashed assholes!
Your hearts and flowers crap is going to have to wait - Hector Plasmic
___Free country; ___Drug free country. Choose one.
beLIEve!
