Anonymous asked this question on 4/15/2000:

Hi, my name is Fabiano I am 18 years-old

My childhood was a kind of sad... I wasn't being abused, but I missed some praising, friends and health activities, such as sports, clubs, etc...

Then I develped, a inferiority complex, and a low self-esteem with the age of 12 to 15

Then I start to use drugs to find confidence, wellness and emotion. age 15-17

After that, I had some spiritual aspects and happenings. I stopped with all drugs. 17

Now, my goal in life is develop a good mind. I have very bad social beliefs in my mind.

But also, I have read tons of books, and had a lot of contacts with many religions, out-of-body center of study and other places

This, makes me think that I am really special, and I have the best common-sense in the world. In my mind now, I think that I have a awesome knoledge and the best common-sense.

I also wear masks in the school, and I feel fake walking in the hallways...

I try to do a lot of mental work to get my mind used to good thoughts... I can say that I have a resonable self-discipline with doing my mental daily routine.

I have no friends, and makes me really sad, because I feel like I have a bad energy.

The weird part that I have a really positive speech, but I have a negative subconsciousness

My main problems are: 1. Not feeling that I am being myself 2. Don't having friends 3. Not living a real life

Do you have a advice, or a experience to tell me... ? I am tired of the same problems over and over again...

Thank you very much, Fabiano

athenanin gave this response on 4/23/2000:

Fabiano, I know how you feel, I, myself have gone though a lot of same things. Over coming low self esteem can be a very hard thing to do. You can read tons of books and tell yourself tons of things, but it doesn't always help. From what your said you sound like you are getting better at praising yourself, which is very good, there is nothing wrong, in fact i recommend it, to praise yourself and treat yourself to gifts and things, self indulgence is the key, but not too much. As for finding friends, explore your world, the things around you, what do you like to do? Are there any clubs in school you can join, i know that sounds gay, but i love art so i joined art club, not only have a found a friend or two, i am now incharge of the club. Do yo like music? Go do concerts, start talking to people, exchange phone numbers or emails. Or even try to make firends over the internet. You don't have to be the most popular or have 40 thousand friends, you don't need a lot of friends be cause you will only get lost in the shuffle of things, i have 2 best friends and about 5 others outside of that and i'm happy with my social life, but everyone is different, or a long time, i had one good friend and that was it, i was happy we spent all out time together, as you grow and your needs change you'll find that you contestally change the people around you, maybe you are in a spot in your life were friends aren't that important. As for feeling fake, i know how it is, but highschool is over before you know it and then you can really start your life. You said you don't "have a real life" what do you consider a real life, a life to everyone is different so many you do have a life, a one thats good for you. I do hope this helps you some, if you have anymore questions feel free to contact me, Athenanin@aol.com, the best of luck

Athena

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