Anonymous asked this question on 4/8/2000:

Thank you for taking the question.

I have a 19-year old son who has reported some OC behaviours, beginning it seems about 3 yrs ago when he was away from home for 3 months on an overseas exchange during Grade 11. His personality did seem to undergo a change during that period. He left as a rather quiet, studious, submissive boy -- and returned as a more withdrawn, irritable and independent person. He dropped out of high school in the final year. Although he doesn't report acute OC now, his behavior does generally seem obsessive and driven (he is writing/singing music and trying to develop a rock band). He is often extremely focused on what he is doing and cannot tolerate any distractions. He often has to break something to release stress. He also goes through periods of varying length in which his behavior is incredibly juvenile; laughing and acting stupidly and silly. It is this particular aspect of his behaviour that is hardest to present in words, but it is particularly disturbing/frustrating for his parents.

In spite of all of this, he is not violent towards his family or others; not getting into Trouble; and we are virtually certain no drugs are involved.

Generally, I would like to reach a better understanding of what is going on and identify what if anything can and should be done in connection with treatment.

Regards, /j.

Diannalyst gave this response on 4/10/2000:

I know you are going to think this is an odd request. I want you to link onto www.personalitypage.com and read the personality called the ISTP. See if it describes him at all ... then write me back. Dr. D.

Anonymous asked this follow-up question on 4/11/2000:

Hi Dr. D.,

Thank you for your interest. My son took the personality test at the personalitypage (yes, we paid $3) and the result is INFP. My wife and I (his parents) have read the descriptions and agree that it fits.

Unlike the ISTP, he has absolutely no interest in how things work. He has never expressed any interest in technical or scientific subjects. And he has never been analytical.

I hope this helps. If you would like more information, I'd be happy to provide it.

Regards, J.

Diannalyst gave this response on 4/12/2000:

Dear J,

This tells me quite a bit. Just to confirm, there is one more place I want you to go -- to read the description of the INFP. Keirsey.com

If it again sounds like your son -- know that your son is a VERY rare profile for a male -- perhaps .003% of the United States for a male. Only one in every 300 men in the United states will there be a male with your son's temperament. In the corporate environment, that is even more rare.

The next most natural temperament that MAY be a secondary is called the ISFP -- the Composer. You might read that one, as well, to see if you see flickers of him in there, too.

Both of these temperaments are DOMINANT FEELERS (I know this is odd terminology to you, so I will attempt to explain briefly as I go what that means) -- this means that he FEELS extremely deeply and passionately about people, reaching them, inspiring them -- and the INFP/ISFP blend typically loves to do this through the "arts." He will be VERY independent and individualistic as well as passionate about reaching people through his "art" whatever that may be -- yet, VERY COOL and almost impossible to read on the surface, as the (F) warmth is tucked way down underneath where only those he feels "safe" with and "trusts" can see.

He is an IDEALIST.

And, yes, with strong perfectionism tendencies as far as his ideas and ideals go. With this will come frustrations that reality does not match up to the ideal he so desires that he sees so clearly in his head.Yet this is part of his unique giftedness in his personality.

Even though in his head he may be a perfectionist .. and yes studious .. his room and immediately practical surroundings may have little "piles" around --he will tend to "file by pile." The frustration to bring order will not be so much in his external surroundings as his internal visions. He will see the world rarely through the eyes of reality, but through its IDEAL as how it can be, or should be.

Interesting how the INFP can bring greatness to peoples lives, but are many time tortured themselves as a result of their idealisms and the fact that reality never measures up to them.

Edgar Allen Poe was most likely an INFP. Joan of Arc.

The following are resources I want you to purchase and read to help you further understand your son. He has been created with a VERY rare and unique temperament with unique needs.....

Please Understand Me I and II by Keirsey Do What You Are by Tiernan and Tiernan (?) Type Talk and Type Talk at Work by Kroegerand Theusen

DSM-IV American Psychiatric Association (you may not want to buy this one: $$$$ look up Obsessive Compulsive Anxiety Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder ... read the criteria and see if this sounds like him MOST OF THE TIME over the past 2 years. Your son MAY have some OCD... but more than likely, his temperament is the underlying factor because rarely does our culture expect many of his behaviors coming out of a young man.... they are so rare in a male in the US culture.

Your son will tend to see "possibilities" not "practicalities" -- will rarely be interested in "macho guy" things -- will set himself apart typically from these things. Almost "above" them. His favorite world will be in the rich inner world of his mind and his ideas. Alone. This is where he energizes. It is NOT anti social. All Introverts (I) look for space alone to pull off into themselves to energize. American culture is 2/3 Extroverted. The Introvert and how the Introvert energizes is quite misunderstood and taken by many Extroverts as anti-social. It is simply where I's energize best. This does not mean he is sick. Just different. Unique. Rare.

I hope this helps. Dr. D.

Anonymous asked this follow-up question on 4/12/2000:

Dear Dr. D.,

Thank you very much for your detailed reply.

I can see how an appreciation of personality type is essential for establishing a reference point for evaluating abnormal behaviour. The INFP descriptions are very helpful in undertanding a good deal of our son's behaviour.

I would value your thoughts on the following: The Kiersey profile mentions how INFPs are often the ugly ducklings in a family and how this can cause internal turmoil. I mentioned earlier how our son had left for France a very shy, studious and almost submissive boy. Is it possible that this 3 month period away from home at the age of 16 could have been a cathartic experience in terms of getting closer in touch with his true nature - where his interests and goals began to deviate significantly from his parents' expectations? Could this turmoil manifest itself in the mood swings we see between the anger that leads to objects being broken and the periods of silly, stupid, juvenile behaviour?

One last thing. It seems interesting that the demographic data at personality page.com lists INFP as the most common personality type. Is this an internet user skew? And much to the chagrin of parents, the INFP is least likely to be married and have the lowest household income.

Regards, John

The average rating for this answer is 5.

Anonymous rated this answer a 5.

Ah...you have me intrigued. I shall check it out and be back to you. Thank you.