Anonymous asked this question on 4/8/2000:

Thank you for taking the question.

I have a 19-year old son who has reported some OC behaviours, beginning it seems about 3 yrs ago when he was away from home for 3 months on an overseas exchange during Grade 11. His personality did seem to undergo a change during that period. He left as a rather quiet, studious, submissive boy -- and returned as a more withdrawn, irritable and independent person. He dropped out of high school in the final year. Although he doesn't report acute OC now, his behavior does generally seem obsessive and driven (he is writing/singing music and trying to develop a rock band). He is often extremely focused on what he is doing and cannot tolerate any distractions. He often has to break something to release stress. He also goes through periods of varying length in which his behavior is incredibly juvenile; laughing and acting stupidly and silly. It is this particular aspect of his behaviour that is hardest to present in words, but it is particularly disturbing/frustrating for his parents.

In spite of all of this, he is not violent towards his family or others; not getting into Trouble; and we are virtually certain no drugs are involved.

Generally, I would like to reach a better understanding of what is going on and identify what if anything can and should be done in connection with treatment.

Regards, /j.

karunap gave this response on 4/8/2000:

If he is willing, I would suggest he do some therapy now. I love getting clients early, before they have years and years of dysfunctional behavior. Find a therapist that will work on feeling release as opposed to simply talk therapy.

Encourage him to share his feelings with you. If he is open, teach him the importance of releasing his anger... both present and old anger. We use many types of techniques in our process. Some of those are things like writing lists of mads, sads, and scares; journalling about feelings; writing nasty letters and then destroying them; twist a towel; scream into a pool or pillow. There are many others.

He needs someone that can help him work through old traumas and release old feelings. He needs someone who can give him feedback and guidance. You can do that some but it probably would be preferable to have a skilled therapist. He needs you most for love and support.

Anonymous asked this follow-up question on 4/8/2000:

Thank you very much for your rapid and helpful reply.

How should I go about finding an appropriate therapist? What credentials should I be looking for; what declared practice specialty; what methodologies; what questions should I ask? And also, do you think the sex of the therapist is a factor?

Your advice would be greatly appreciated.

Regards, /j.

karunap gave this response on 4/8/2000:

Ask your son whether he would rather see a man or a woman.

Find one who has experience in working with young people. Usually a master's prepared counselor (social work, nursing, counseling) is sufficient... i.e. you probably don't need a psychologist or psychiatrist. I prefer therapists who use a wide modality of therapies rather than just talk therapy. Also therapists that help their clients solve problems rather than just listen and reflect. Find one that is comfortable with all feelings... including anger.

If you happen to live near Seattle, let me know. I can give you plenty of referrals for around here.

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