Anonymous asked this question on 7/12/2000:

I've been dating this man off and on for 3 years. He won't involve me in activities that include his 11 year old daughter and has never encouraged me to visit him. He's not married - he's divorced and said he prefers to keep his life (where he lives in another state) separate from where I live. He visits every weekend, but we broke up 3 weeks ago because it is so difficult for me to accept his stand on our relationship. I've told him and it doesn't seen to do any good. He keeps telling me things will change, but they never do. I saw him with another women last weekend and I was crushed and I don't know what to do. He's said he loves me, but there is always a hesitation. I have a lot of friends and date others because I have not felt there was any future with the man I love. But being apart is heart wrenching. Help! What is your advice. Thank you

dennisbjones gave this response on 7/12/2000:

My advice would be to send him packing. I know this is not what you want to hear, but think about it. What are you getting out of this relationship? The man wants to keep himself as distant as he can, and he is seeing other women besides. Maybe that's the reason he doesn't want you invading his private life. If he really loved you, he would welcome you into his family, and try to promote a relationship with his daughter. And he wouldn't keep putting you off. I think you would be far better off without him. Keep on dating others and I think you will eventually find a man who will make you a part of his life instead of trying to keep you at a safe distance. This guy is a loser, but you don't realize it. They say love is blind. I think it's time you took off the blindfold and saw this guy as he really is. He will never make you happy. Wake up before it's too late. You deserve far better than this. Why settle for stale crumbs when you could have the whole loaf?