Anonymous asked this question on 7/12/2000:

okay... Here's the problem my boyfriend that I've been dating and living with for a long while is more in love with me than I'am with him. I really want to move and break things off but every time I start to bring up the subject of it not working he starts acting like a baby and makes me feel sorry for him. We've been having problems for atleast 6 months and I rather move on with my life than be stuck in a bad relationship. please help don't know what else I can do. thanks a bunch

shrink4u gave this response on 7/12/2000:

Dear Anonymous,

I understand your not wanting to hurt your boyfriend, but staying in the relationship just keeps him guessing. I think it's great you have a conscience about this, but I think continuing the situation is worse than ending it!

Give him a kind but firm explanation: "I think you're a great guy, but I think personality-wise, we're very different people. I'm grateful that we had so many good times together, and I'll evenings together fondly." Then don't let him draw you into an argument about it!

I think he'll be disappointed, but relieved in the long run to know where you two stand as a couple. Then neither one of you will spend more time and energy focusing on a relationship that you know won't lead anywhere. You both would be better off spending that time and energy getting to know other people with whom you have more in common.

I think you're right on target about preferring to move on with your life over remaining stuck in a bad relationship. I wish you much courage and the best of luck!! Take care!!

Love, Mary