Anonymous asked this question on 7/12/2000:

well here goes, my boyfriend and i are in a very long distance relationship, and we've met twice, once for nine days and once for 17 days, the first time we met, i was a virgin, so he was very gentle with me, and we moved very slowly, but the thing is when we were both ready, he couldnt get an erection, so we figured it was a combination of things, his worry over hurting me, the distance he'd traveled, anxiety over wanting it to be perfect, and so on. well the second time we met, he could get an erection, but could not keep it, so we still didnt make love properly, he says he's never had problems before, and when i talk to him on the phone now, (dont read the rest if youre easily offended) he gets hard and comes, so im wondering whats wrong with me? i mean how come when we're together we have problems, he assures me that its nothing to do with me, but im having a hard time believing that much longer any advice would be appreciated thanks

jennycool gave this response on 7/12/2000:

It could be that he becomes nervous; guys get nervous about sex too. Also, since the first time he couldn't get an erection, he could have been worried about it happening again the second time, and that's why he lost his erection. Try going slowly and relaxing totally with lots of foreplay. Something else which might help is a sensual massage with Ylang Ylang essential oil diluted in a carrier oil.