Anonymous asked this question on 7/12/2000:

I dated this guy for a couple of months over the course of which I lost my virginity to him. before school ( college) got out for the summer I showed up and basically asked what the deal was. He seemed to be pretty honest and basically said he wasn't ready for a serious relationship because of his ex. and that He was going to europe. After the talk I spent the night and went to leave the next morning and he was like come here.. and we kissed. Since then we haven't talked because he refuses too. I also found out that after he got back from europe.. He had sex with his ex again, which he referred to as a whore.. and is going after his professor's daughter. I don't know why I can't seem to let go .. and don't really understand why he couldn't have just said "were done" and left it at that. Instead of hanging up the phone on me, when I call to talk. On top of which I feel stupid for falling for him because he seems like such a player and that I never meant anything to him.

SeekTrueLove gave this response on 7/12/2000:

Dear Anonymous,

This guy won't say "we're done" or hang up on you when you call because he wants you around to use you. He IS a player, and is jerking you around. Why? Because he can. You let him, and as long as you are sticking around to take it, he will keep on giving it to you.

He knows that you are still into him and he will use that to his advantage. It feeds his ego. He still has issues to deal with, and I suggest not being around while he tries to stabilize his life. You deserve so much better. "Better" is out there. Just make yourself available by cutting free from this user and abuser.

It's hard to let go because you have emotionally (and physically) invested yourself in him and the relationship. But it's not a good situation. It will take time to get over him, but it will be worth it. Again, YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER!

Hope this helps.

Good luck.