Anonymous asked this question on 7/12/2000:
okay... Here's the problem my boyfriend that I've been dating and living with for a long while is more in love with me than I'am with him. I really want to move and break things off but every time I start to bring up the subject of it not working he starts acting like a baby and makes me feel sorry for him. We've been having problems for atleast 6 months and I rather move on with my life than be stuck in a bad relationship. please help don't know what else I can do. thanks a bunch
DebM464 gave this response on 7/12/2000:
Unfortunately, you have to be the "strong" one in this situation. If you don't love him-get out of it now. Not six more months down the road-now. Look for another place to live, start packing your things, and tell him you are leaving. If you're wishy-washy about it and allow him to act like a baby and keep you there out of guilt, both of you will resent and eventually hate each other. If there's no hope for the relationship-then you have to end it. Is he abusive? Does he threaten you with harm if you leave him, or is he just pathetic and plays on your sympathy? If he's abusive or threatening-then you may need some help to leave him. The local Battered Women's Shelter will help (look them up)-even if he's never harmed you to this point, the threat may be there anyway. And you don't want to be in a situation that gives him a chance to go through with any threats. If he's just an emotional wreck of a guy who cries and begs you to stay, then you need to tell him, in no uncertain terms, that the relationship has already ended and you need to leave. And then you need to do it. If he's distraught about it, he will try to contact you, see you at work, call you, etc. trying to get back together with you. This is when you need to be your strongest and tell him no. He sounds as though he's very dependent on you-it could be the toughest thing you'll have to do. You can write back to me, if you'd like, and fill me in on some of the details of his personality-and more of the relationship details and I'll try my best to offer help. DebM464