Anonymous asked this question on 7/12/2000:
I have had this friend for a good many years; while I became a plain common person, he is quite the opposite: 32, very handsome, athletic (played football a lot), gets on easily with people, graduated from a famous place, he is smart and professionally very successful. The proverbial winner... Well, we were taking about girls the other day and he confided to me that "no woman can resist him, single or otherwise" if he really wants to have her. Of course I was bothered by this bragging (although he DOES get a lot of beauties) and mentioned married girls that I did not think would fall for his advances; he answered with a sly smile that he was sure they would think about him as they cuddled with their boyfriends or husbands. I was shocked because even discounting the bragging he DID seem to believe that. This left me saddened, because on thinking about it I feel that many beautiful people may also be like that. Now for the question: is it really so, beauty/success are irresistible? And even if that may be so, is a girl being unfaithful if she DOES remeber such a person while with her loved one?
shrink4u gave this response on 7/12/2000:
Dear Anonymous,
I don't know why I hear the misconception so often that women go for the "tall dark rich, etc. . ." type guys!! Although the "God's gift to women" type (like your friend) might catch some girl's eye at first (for a few seconds maybe), my girlfriends and I simply don't like guys who are that self-centered, i.e., all they're really concerned about is themselves!!
In fact, everything about your friend is a turn-off. He sounds so "into himself," that he doesn't have anything left to give anyone else, thus making him incapable of having a relationship! Who wants or needs that??
Regarding fantasizing: Virtually anything goes! Your fantasies are private and need not be shared with anyone. You don't need to feel guilty about them in any sense!! It definitely is not cheating, at least not in my opinion.
I hope your friend wakes up and "gets a life" soon!! Best wishes to you!!
Love, Mary
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