Anonymous asked this question on 7/10/2000:

I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 29. We've been dating for a little over a year and plan to get married. We've been friends for 10 years, and dated very briefly when I was 16 (he broke my heart pretty bad).

now that you know the background, here is the problem. I found out a couple days ago that he "made out" with 2 girls at the same time. I've met them before, and it's possible that'll meet them again. I think if it didn't happen in a public place, that it would have gone further.

I'll make it clear that we weren't dating at the time, just friends. I can't figure out why it bothers me so much. He's a great guy, and claims that he couldn't have sex with someone without there being emotion involved. This just seems to uncharacteristic(?) of him.

Why does this bother me so much and how can I get over it?

Sshield37 gave this response on 7/12/2000:

Hello, Have you had suspisions of this type before? Why does it bother you? I would say one because you care very much for this man. Though if there are any doubts as to faithfulnes you should stop and talk to him. Honesty is the only answer for anything. Even though you were "broke up" at the time, did he consider your feelings if this ever got back to you? Love means always putting the others feeling,needs and wants ahead of our own. So the question lies does he love you. Does he put your needs, wants and feelings above his? Before marriage I'd suggest that you two have a talk and work these out or else it will affect your marriage. If he is honest and you feel that he will never do this in your marriage then let it go as something in the past. Forgive and but don't forget. Yes you can forgive with out forgetting. But that doesn't mean to bring it up ever again...as this will only widen the breech if there is one. I wish you both nothing but happiness.