Anonymous asked this question on 7/9/2000:
i really do not know where to start. I have been dating a guy that i met via net for about 8 months now. up till this past weekend, we have been really close and actually he had proposed to me about a month ago. I could see visions of spending the rest of my life with him. I love him with all of my heart and soul. I am extremely scared at the moment. I havent eaten anything hardly all weekend and I cant sleep. I cannot cry anymore tears. I have tried to cry because I think I would feel better but cant. Anyway, one of his old "girl" "friends" came into town this weekend. They say their relationship is like sister and brother, but they do things that someone in a relationship would do. It is all weird to me. cuddling, hugging, wrestling, ect. everytime they sit beside each other, the have to be touching some how. (hands, feet, ect) I am sorry but I dont do this with just "friends" He was fussing that he felt as if I were putting him second place in our relationship a few weeks ago because I was chatting and hanging out with our friends. I did not hug, cuddle, wrestle, ect. with them. well i do sometimes, but gee not like 24-7 each wakening hour that they are together. i really do not think that i am over reacting. I am sick!! really depressed and cant think straight. He reassures me that I am the only one and that they are just friends and there is nothing else there. He calls her his sister. HHMM...ya know what??? I have a friend that says that too, but he wants more than that and just says I am like his sister in front of everyone else. I know this but no one else knows it. I just can not deal with someone that acts so flirty and shows these so-called "just friend" feelings. I do not want a relationship like this, I dont share my man, and I def. dont want some other female hanging all over him!! I really dont have a question to ask, because I know you cannot make things better for me. Just asking for your advice and friendship. I need like the biggest hug anyone could possibly offer at the moment! thanks! =0)
ibbluesgal gave this response on 7/10/2000:
Hope that my answer or response helps you. It sounds to me like you're being played for a fool, however I can see that you're not blind. Don't let your boyfriend hurt you anymore. If he can't see that you're hurting and extremely uncomfortable with him being so physical with an ex-girlfriend, then you need to completely break things off with him. If he truly loved you, he would want to be with you rather than anyone else. You deserve nothing but the best out of a prospective life-partner, so don't put up with this. If you do, then you'll be played for a fool and hurt over and over again, and I think you already know this. You seem like a smart person and I think you already know what to do, but it does hurt. Tell him how you feel and give tell him to make a choice or you're out! It's easy to fall in love for some people, so don't think of it as losing someone, but instead of freeing yourself up to be able to meet the man of your dreams, (who doesn't cuddle and wrestle w/ his female friend). Best wishes and I'm availabe if you have any further concerns. Big hug coming your way via the net......)(........! ibbluesgal
Anonymous asked this follow-up question on 7/10/2000:
cuddle and wrestle with female friend?? i dont think its right!
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