Anonymous asked this question on 7/10/2000:

Me and many girlfriend have been together for nearly 18 months. She has been deep in Love with me and wanted to spend her life with me.

I Love her as well but I asked for some space in the beginning of June. I asked for that space because I couldnt see how she was transmitting her feelings for me as it wasnt obvious.

2 days later i didnt want that space as i had realised that she has been showing her feelings for me in her own way which she is comfertable with. But she said that she doesnt know if she can trust me with her feelings and that what if next time i break up for good..so now she wanted space to sort her head out.

I wrote her a long letter confirming my true love for her so after 3 weeks we met 2-3 times...got on...kissed and cuddled. But we still hadnt talked about the situation and sorted things out...

The other day we talked and she told me that she does still Love me but doesnt feel the same powerful love as she did before i asked for some space. She said that she is now not clear about whether i am the man she wants to spend her life with. She does want to sort things out and does hope that things will be ok.

I told her that she cant go back into that powerful love again overnight...it will take time. She understood that and said that 'we'll see how things go'.

So please can you tell me: what can i do to make her fall more in love with me again, as she was before ?

What should i avoid doing ?

Thanks in Advance

lilly1979 gave this response on 7/10/2000:

It's good that you took a step back but, with every reaction there is an equal reaction. When you stepped back and doubted it gave her a chance too. After 18 months you weren't sure? That made her hurt and honestly I would feel like her. My bf and I have been together for a year and a half as well. He did step back in like the first month of the relationship. If he had to think about it after all the months that we have been together and with all the troubles I'd be hurt and mad. I am sure you guys have been through a lot and then after this you step back? I don't believe there is anything you can do but to give her space and let her think. She deserves it but, she may need nudging to know that you still love her. The little things get people more then the big things. Offer to take her out to lunch just because, stop by at work just to say hi and when you do these nice things do not talk about either of you stepping back or your status. It will be difficult but she does not need a reminder of your situation, she needs to know that you are completely committed. This is what she is questioning right now, not how much she cares for you. The fact that she is still there and thinking shows care and extreme love. And next time when you have doubts think really hard before you voice them and send her flying again.