Anonymous asked this question on 7/10/2000:
Me and many girlfriend have been together for nearly 18 months. She has been deep in Love with me and wanted to spend her life with me.
I Love her as well but I asked for some space in the beginning of June. I asked for that space because I couldnt see how she was transmitting her feelings for me as it wasnt obvious.
2 days later i didnt want that space as i had realised that she has been showing her feelings for me in her own way which she is comfertable with. But she said that she doesnt know if she can trust me with her feelings and that what if next time i break up for good..so now she wanted space to sort her head out.
I wrote her a long letter confirming my true love for her so after 3 weeks we met 2-3 times...got on...kissed and cuddled. But we still hadnt talked about the situation and sorted things out...
The other day we talked and she told me that she does still Love me but doesnt feel the same powerful love as she did before i asked for some space. She said that she is now not clear about whether i am the man she wants to spend her life with. She does want to sort things out and does hope that things will be ok.
I told her that she cant go back into that powerful love again overnight...it will take time. She understood that and said that 'we'll see how things go'.
So please can you tell me: what can i do to make her fall more in love with me again, as she was before ?
What should i avoid doing ?
Thanks in Advance
MarieMc gave this response on 7/10/2000:
Ok firstly, don't break up with her again, that was silly. I don't think there is anything you can do to make her fall in love like before, you just have to give her some time to feel comfortable again, it was probably quite a shock to her when you said you needed some space, she's not sure the ground she's on is sturdy yet, feels a bit shaky maybe. She is probably going to be a bit reserved regarding her feelings until she feels totally comfortable that she isn't going to get sort of blindsided again. I don't think her feelings for you have really changed, I think the break up was a huge shock and she's still in the process of over evaluating everything about herself, you, and the both of you as a couple. That's ok, a normal reaction. The worst thing you can do in this situation is try to hard to make her love you like before, you may just end up coming across as desperate and that'll only be a turn off, so just rebuild what you had, it will take time yes, but if both of you are committed to the relationship and making it work, you'll do it. I truly wish the both of you happiness together, Marie
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