aaron.r.36248 asked this question on 7/12/2000:

What constitutes a date versus two people just hanging out? What defines a date?

girlynextdoor gave this response on 7/13/2000:

HI Aaron,

Great question... many have been baffled by this before.

It's the exact same thing, with two different intentions. Like a guy and a girl who have been friends in the past decide to go out. They have crossed over to a new relationship dimension. Yet their activities per se may not have changed, they will be seeing each other on a new level.

If you have a specific situation you'd like me to help with that would be great... any clues to what you might be going through I'd be happy to answer.

Hanging out is usually considered to be plutonic. The best way to find out where you stand is ask. It may be hard to do, but at least you'll get an answer. If you are happy with just being someone's friend, then state to her that these are your intentions (nicest way possible. you never want to hurt people). If you want more... bring up the possibility of you two going on a real date? Then you know exactly what your role in the relationship is... "You're the guy that's going on a date with this girl". If she seems taken back, give her sometime to digest it. She may not have known you liked her this way or she may have been waiting for you to make the move.

If it turns out she only wanted to be friends... that's cool too, just let her know you are good either way (if that's how you feel. Some people want the girl to date them or nothing at all. You have to judge what you want for each situation).

Please write me back if I can help further… I wish you all the best.

Girl Next Door