I don't know what to do, I may have messed my relationship up beyond repair

Subject: I don't know what to do, I may have messed my relationship up beyond repair
Answered By: Question answered by mhardenbrook in Romance & Dating
Asked By:

studly asked this question on 7/13/2000:

My girlfriend gave me a leatherbound journal to write poems in. Once, after a fight, I got so frustrated and had to vent. I wrote an angry poem about her, hitting sore spots, such as her losing her baby, not finishing school, etc. It made me feel worse, I called her that same night and we made up. However, I didn't throw it out because it was MY journal. When I moved last week, she opened it and read it when I wasn't around. She is so hurt and ashamed, she said that not even her worst enemy could say those kinds of things. I was just venting, I love her with all of my heart. She is so mad she barely talks to me. I'm afraid of losing her. I'm afraid of trying too hard to fix things. I've sent her an electronic card saying I'm sorry, I've held her hands and told her that I didn't mean that, it was just for me, but she is still giving me the cold shoulder. Any advice as to how to smooth this over? I've been with her since December, and I can't lose her over something this stupid, a poem that I wrote two months ago. Please help me, I feel so sick.

mhardenbrook gave this response on 7/13/2000:

My mother always said that when it comes to privacy, if a person goes snooping they better be adult enough to deal with what they find. Your girlfriend had no right to be reading your journal, period. That is your private business, she invaded your privacy and is now punishing you for her feelings, so she is wrong on two counts. At this point all you can do is tell her that you are sorry that she felt it necessary to invade your privacy and then couldn't deal with the feelings that arose from this invasion. Tell her again, that you were just venting, and tell her that you are sorry that your angry words hurt her feelings. Then let it go, you can do no more. If she is mature, she will first of all admit that she had no business nosing around your personal journal(as she was obviously looking for some information on you)but that is done now and can not be taken back. If she is immature then this situation will keep coming up and no matter what you say to her, or do for her, she will never forgive(though she is at faught for snooping)if that is how she is going to handle this, then you are much better off without her in your life.