Anonymous asked this question on 7/13/2000:
Dear Experts:
I've been casually seeing this guy 6+ months who's divorced (one year, he filed) and I'm in process of. Neither one of us is looking for a commitment, and I thought we'd make good pair cuz he wouldn't get attached.
When we first met, he said "Girls call me" (what's up with this?). My friend gave his my card and asked if he would like to take me to lunch (we had seen each other couple different times and we both seemed to dig each other). I didn't call him, but he calld 2 wks later.
Anyway, we've seen each other 1-2/month and talked on phone about every 10 says or so. HE used to initiate calls and dates in beginning, just recently I've been calling him, within last month or so.
Almost everytime we got together, he'd make "women" remarks, like new gorgeous neighbors moving in, the best "rack" he ever saw when he went to New Orleans, etc. etc. I would just let them roll off my back or answer like one of the guys. Why does he do this? I've always been light, fun when we go out and haven't been getting possessive, etc. of him.
I've called him last 3 times to maybe get together for lunch, etc. and he's been out of town or golfing. Last time I talked to him was 7/3 and told him I had day off and maybe we could do something. He said he was golfing (but it was pouring rain outside) later and he'd call if he didn't play. Well, I felt like it was an excuse. I was in neighborhood later in afternoon to visit friend and stopped by his place. Place was trashed and dishes hadn't been washed in a week and underwear (dirty) all over the place and he was just lying in bed, almost enjoying his isolation.
We chatted for 2 hrs. and I commented I didn't like his newly bleached hair (he's 34 years old!). That's when he said he's been lucky with it and has gotten couple girls with. For sake of conversation, I asked couple questions about them and he said he preferred older one cuz the sex is better. He said I was noisey, I said no, I'm just curious. I didn't know if he was being brutal cuz I offened his ego about hair remark. Mind you, he never got out of bed, except to go to the bathroom. I left and said that I didn't want to rain on your parade and call me. He just nodded.
Why do you think he's doing this? Do you think he obviously has some new distractions and therefore I'm on the backburner?
Leave him be? Or, do you think he'll call?
Any insight would be great!!!
Promise a rating.
Thanks.
Terry2351 gave this response on 7/13/2000:
He is obviously trying to discover himself again. He is making changes outwardly to see what works and what doesn't.
As you have no real emotional ties to this guy yet, I would let it go. If he is interested in seeing you again, he will call. But from the sounds of your information this was more of a casual friendship then a relationship. Consider yourself lucky that you found out before you allowed yourself to become emotionally attached. I personally would let it go and move on. By his lack of response over the last couple of times, it appears he has lost interest in you. Sorry... Just find someone else to go to lunch with and start doing more for yourself. Pretty soon he will be a distant memory.
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