Anonymous asked this question on 7/13/2000:

That is a serious question. I've asked a few women that question now and then, and they nearly always assume I'm being facetious. I'm not: I'm serious.

I find men repulsive; disgusting; repugnant; offensive looking; nauseating. Why do some women kiss such gross creatures?! Their bodies are gross; their penises are revolting and loathsome. Do women desire men sexually? Is there some kind of mental block that keeps them from seeing how repulsive men are?

I am genuinely perplexed. Common sense dictates that women would never look at a man sexually because men are so vile and disgusting. But common sense also dictates that enough females submit to the revolting beats long enough to get pregnant--- otherwise the species would not exist.

Why do some women have sex with men?

shrink4u gave this response on 7/13/2000:

Dear anonymous,

When I was younger, I felt a little like you. Fortunately, I eventually got over the feeling you describe, have been married for three years, and I enjoy all the physical, mental, emotional aspects of my marriage.

Many factors shape women's response to men, including cultural conditioning and learned attitudes. A relaxed and secure environment, sometimes increase women's enjoyment of men and desire for physical affection. Any fears of rejection, abandonment, fears in general can prevent enjoying relationships with men and sexual pleasure.

Also, my feelings changed considerably once I found that one "special person" for me, who I ended up marrying. Part of the enjoyment of the relationship is mutual trust, mutual respect, and giving of oneself because you're so much in love! All these elements, in my opinion, are parts of the unconditional love we have for each other.

I hope you will find someone (like I did) who you will love so much that you WANT to be with him all the time and thus enjoy a wonderful relationship, partly because he IS a man!!

Take care and best wishes!

Love, Mary

shrink4u gave this follow-up answer on 7/13/2000:

P.S. A really good source of information is the book "Our Bodies, Ourselves." I refer to it frequently when I want to know what other women have to say about women's issues - and I think you'll find even more answers to your question there - if you're interested.

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