Anonymous asked this question on 7/13/2000:

I'm a 30 year-old, female real estate agent who works in a affluent area, selling condo's out of a building that's just converted. I myself live in a middle-class area with my father. I meet alot of well-to-do men, because I'm attractive. However once I tell them I still live at home, they get turned off, or treat me in a condensing way. I do pay my father rent, and own my own vehicle, I'm also practically debt free. I do plan on moving out, once I have enough savings & downpayment. If I meet someone in the meanwhile, should I lie? Or avoid the subject?

SeekTrueLove gave this response on 7/13/2000:

Dear Anonymous,

I don't think you have a problem. I think it's the men you meet that have a problem. Why these certain men would be turned-off by the fact that you live at home with your father is beyond me.

In this generation especially, there are plenty of children who still live with their parents well into their thirties. Why? The high cost of education, the longer amounts of time people are staying in school, the greater amounts of time to develop a career, the later in life people are wanting to start families are all reason that children live at home longer. It makes financial sense.

Do these people like the idea of staying with their parents well into adulthood. Some do and some don't.

It seems that the men that you are meeting somehow find your at-home-with-Dad status to indicate non-independence or non-ambitiousness or something.

I think that you should not lie about it. Or even avoid the subject. Be completely honest about who you are, the same way you would expect the same from whoever you were dating. If they have a problem with it, then perhaps they're not the person for you.

But if you do really find your situation to be somewhat embarassing, then I guess you will have to employ methods of deception and avoidence until you can get into your own place. I suppose you could also rent a small apartment if you really want to get out quickly. But, of course, your goal of a downpayment on a home would have to wait awhile.

Hope this helps.

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