[Here another one from RVY. Enjoy! TH]

Dear Mike:

(Gawd, don't you love it when you don't have to do that "Dear Sir" crap?)

Listen, Mike, we gotta talk about the quality of these people you are sending in on me. You gotta drill these people or tell your DSAs to drill them. These people are so lousy. Examples:

"Jerrod/Gerrod" - He calls me and says he used to work in the GO with me. Huh? I didn't know no Jerrod/Gerrod. Where, I ask? When? No reply. He just goes into some spiel about my overts, talking as if he either has had too much to drink or didn't put his teeth in his mouth. I mean, it's hard to understand him! I say, hey, I never worked with a Jerrod/Gerrod but does he listen? Nope. He mumbles on, in a pattern that is so routine now that it is apparent that the drilling is ghastly! So I tell him that if he is going to lie to me and not reply, no go, and I hang up. What am I suppose to do with someone who won't put their teeth in their mouth? And I couldn't tell if I was supposed to get my withholds missed or was supposed to cave in because his bloody TRs were so horrible and I couldn't understand what he was saying!

"Maureen" - Another one who said she worked with me in the GO. (Boy, talk about a pattern! "Hey, I know, let's get people to say they worked with him and what he will say is..." Right. Brilliant. Not.) No way, I say, what bureau were you in? Nope, she goes into her robot spiel. (Whose drilling these people? I can see writeup: "Don't respond to questions." Duhhhh. I mean, they come in with as much individuality and creativity as a Big Mac.) Again, I ask, which bureau, thinking that if I know here, we might talk. Nope, she won't reply. Bzzzzzt! Sorry, I tell her, I don't talk to people who lie and don't reply. Other than that, her TRs were pretty good but her TR 2 sucked! (Then again, does TR2 apply to an SP? Hmmm....Have to think on that one before I cave in.) ;)

"Joe" - Ohmigawd, this was a joke! The guy calls up asking for Stacy and tries a local (Seattle) angle, wanting to talk to her. Oh, I say, where do you live? Uhhh....the Alki, he says quickly. (The Alki is a beach up the road.) Well, what's your phone number so she can call you back? Uhhh...never mind! Hangs up. Omigawd, this has to be Seattle OSA. It's worse than the others! (And my guess is that you are using the Boston OSA again, as you did before. Right?) Anyway, "Joe" never got to his spiel and panicked too quickly so he needs some work too.

Anonymous - This guy left a message telling me to stop comitting overts (oh, okay! I feel better now!) and something else but his TRs were so bad and it was such a bad connection that I didn't even listen to the rest of it. (Which reminds me: some of these cell phones that these people are using are the pits! I know they use them because they are untraceable but for gawd's sake, get something other than the Mickey Mouse $9.95 version! And the street noises sometimes on the pay phones also make it difficult. I know they don't believe me but half the time I can't understand squat, betweenn the lousy connection and their lousy delivery.)

And the other thing is how afraid they are, all operating at -8.0 on the tone scale. (Hiding, for you others.) Doesn't say much for the tech, Mike, that I'm able to be in view and they cannot. It pretty much sums it up, doesn't it?

So let's catch up on a few I can remember from yesterday:

"John Goddard" (I think) - Better but too rote and too arrogant. He obviously had been given a script and HE WAS GOING TO RUN IT! Oh, I could just see his report later how he delivered this scathing attack but you know what it sounded like? Some fast-talking late-night cable show where they are pushing make-money-easy schemes. (Sorry, you don't get to watch cable. I forgot. Besides, sleep is more important.) But take my word for it. The guy was on a delivery spiel that was robotically rattling away in a way that I was bored within 15 seconds. I tried to ask him a question but he had his script, so I put down the phone and went back to work and let him ramble as he was obviously enjoying it. (Be careful if he reported how he drove me into silence.) (laugh)

"Allen/Alan" - Now this guy was pretty good. We almost had a comm cycle! But he let me control it too much when we started to talk about the psych drug Vistaril found in LRH's blood stream so he had to blow. Too bad. I was getting to like him. (And I forget who tried to tell me that Vistaril was nothing more than an antihistamine. Whew! That leaves one speechless! But I can see, it's all you've got to work with.)

"--------" - I don't remember his name but this one was so bad! He comes on and says how I said blah-blah in the SP Times. No, I didn't, I say. Oh, you didn't? Nope. Well, he said, then you said blah-blah. No, I didn't, I said. Oh, you didn't? Nope. (And I didn't!) Look, I said, why don't you go get the paper and read what parts you want to talk about, okay? Oh, okay, he said. Never heard from him again. (And by the way, I love it the way they all have the SP Times, no matter where they live! And none of them were told by anyone to call me! It was just their spur-of-the-moment idea! Gawd, Mike, doesn't anyone know that this pretense just makes me shake my head and laugh? That's what I mean by the lack of quality. It just those those ranks are t-h-i-n !)

"Peter Light" - It was okay on the phone and we got into Vistaril and he wanted the documents on it. Okay, I say, what's your address? He says plight@rocket.com so I send it to him. It bounces back! Next morning, I get mail from him with a return address of plight@rocketmail.com and this holier-than-thou, "So why won't you send it to me?" So I told him, that I had sent it to the address he gave me and I included the bounced mail. Mike, these guys don't even know their own email address! Isn't this embarassing? I'm supposed to be interiorized by such imcompetence? This is pathetic!

"Viewtokill@aol.com" - Sorry but I forgot the name she gave on the phone (hmmm....wonder if it is Maureen) but it's a cute email address, don't you think? (Wonder if she's in real estate?) She wanted the Vistaril documents so I sent them to her. She was so-so. Only thing I really remember is her email address. At least it hasn't bounced back, but that could be AOL. (Why do your people use such crappy ISPs? Spring for a few bucks and get upgraded! And teach them how to format, for gawd's sake! When you take over the planet, then you can demand that the INCOMM system is the standard for the world, but until then, it looks like hell.)

Back to my problem. Mike,I'm not sure what is supposed to happen with these calls. Am I supposed to cave in? Go down tone? Suddenly have an insight that I should be back on the RPF writing up my overts as well as those of my BTs and clusters and Xenu or what? (Don't you love it that McShane made OT3 public?) First, their TRs suck. Of course, there is the problem with a telephone and that's always a bitch. How do you cave someone in on a phone? Hmmm.... Then there is their pitch or spiel. Dull! You know what it is like? The little kid who says, "Your mama wears tennis shoes! Nyah, nyah, nyah!" sticks out his tongue and then runs away completely certain that, boy, I sure told off THAT kid! And maybe in the world of children, he really did, but Mike, this ain't the world of children, so stop sending in the kids sticking out their tongues.

I hate to put it this way, Mike, but all it really tells me is that you ain't got not talent there in the field. Remember how HItler at the end of the war sent children in to fight? It feels like that. The really pathetic part is that this kids that you are sending in on me are probably sending in their glowing reports how they conquered the enemy and boy, did Young cower on the phone, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Mike, you know me well enough to know I speak sooth. I know you have to come up with a program and this is part of it and you won't be able to tell DM about this part. After all, you want that libs. (Speaking of which, those two posts to ARS aren't the project I promised. Those are freebies. The other thing I promised hasn't started yet. I got involved in staining a 5-drawer dresser today so didn't get around to it. The surveillance DR will verify that as I did it out in front of the house. Looks great, by the way. Nice golden oak! And the sun was out! Gawd, summer is finally here! We've been having 80 degree days! But I digress. Where was I? Oh, your libs. Right.) So you have to show DM that I'm going effect in some way but my problem is that I don't know which way. Can you tell me? What's the cog I'm supposed to have? Am I to realize that the killing of LRH never really happened and there was no psych drug in his system and Lisa McPherson's death should be ignored as well as Noah Lottick and Roxanne Friend and...what? Or is this personal? Am I supposed to be fearful, upset, apathetic, in pain, confused, interiorized? I mean, I can't do them all at once so maybe you can help me out. (I don't think I'm supposed to be having as much fun as I'm having. But then, maybe that was what others "out there" were doing all the time when we were doing our campaigns. Hmmm...have to chew on that one.)

In fact, come to think of it, back in the days when we used to do it, we didn't know what was supposed to happen either, did we. Oh, we'd sick the dogs of war on Mike Flynn, for example, but we were not really certain was supposed to happen other than some long-range goal of destroying him and the odd thing was, nothing really worked. We never did beat him. Then there was someone like Nibs. Hell, we beat him to death with PIs and attacks and covert ops and he never quit. The LA Times? We fought that series for years and never stopped it. We slowed it, but we didn't stop it. Time magazine? Lost it!

Each time, there was always the program that will "handle the hell out of it" and boy, do I know them. You know them! The drone that is reading this knows it and each time, we would dream up something to convince the senior that it would work so we could go to bed and get some sleep. That's the purpose, right? Get some sleep and - with some luck - get a libs. And maybe in between, we can mouth the platitudes the way the Party members do during "Hate Week" in "1984." (Great book, by the way. When you get out and read it, it will show you how we were caught up in double-think.)

So here's what I'll do. As long as it interests me, I'll keep you posted on who calls me and how they are doing so maybe something can be done about this. (Then again, if the weather calls or I have another job to do, well, there ARE priorities!)

Which reminds me, the number of calls today was down from the day before. There were only 4 today, I think. (My problem is that it is an effort to even pay attention, let alone remember. What is memorable is that they are such egomaniacs or bores.

Last note: Am I being facetious? Yup. It's a joke, Mike. It really is. You know what the real analogy is? The children in "Lord of the Flies." Yeah, children can kill and they do in that story but in the end, they are children pretending to be adults.

Meanwhile, remember, the first one to talk stays out of jail. Collect those documents and take them to the feds to save your family and your ass because there will come a point when the authorities really won't be interested in negotiating anything.

And I'm ready to buy the brews when you do!

Best wishes from your friend,
Robert Vaughn Young
writer@eskimo.com