It is always the case that, seven times out of eight, the object of ones' neurotic obsession does not return that ador. Indeed, it is usually the case that said "object" is decidedly of a mind diametrically opposite that of the fool in love. To wit, not only not the least bit interested, but actively (i.e. repulsed) counter interested. At her politest (and yes, it is nearly always a she who is the uninterested party), the one in love may expect a warm, sweet "Not you! Not ever! Not if you were the last male mammal on Earth!" when one, quivering heart in ones' hands, expresses ones' neurotic obsession (i.e. "love").

Yes, I did say "seven out of eight." That eighth may requite. Or at least claim to. Usually when someone says "Do you love me?" and the other says "Yes," the latter is lying. The latter is usually male, hince lying comes easy.

The single most dreaded question males fear is the one that all female love interests (i.e. objects of neurotic obsession) often ask: "WHAT ARE YOU FEELING NOW?" No male in his right mind answers this question honestly: to do so would make his love interest kick him out the door, saying "Don't call! Don't visit! Don't ever draw another breath! Turn blue and die!" This is because the male is feeling one or more of the following:

• The desire for another beer.
• The desire for another orgasm, with or without her participation, but hopefully with.
• Shame at ejaculating in under two minutes during the last participatory orgasm.
• No shame at ejaculating in under two minutes during the last participatory orgasm.
• The desire to stop "spending quality time" with her and stare at the television instead.
• The desire to be with one of his other girlfriends.
• No feelings at all.

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