Anonymous asked this question on 3/24/2000:
My personal tutor keeps inferring that my innocent requests to improve my exam results, and let her in on the more personal aspects of my life such as my son and daughter, are too personal for her to handle. Thus she claims she does not want to be my saviour in life. I see this as a rejection of my capabilities, and therefore sexual harassment. In the fact that she has a phd., so I see her as my mentor, in a strict academic sense. Am I being sexually harassed? One thing I understand as a fact. I feel subdued by her actions.
hrpro2000 gave this response on 3/28/2000:
I hope I havn't misread the information you provided in your question. If so, please provide clarification and I'll take another stab at an answer. But, based upon the information you provided, here is my answer.
It sounds like she may be infering by your requests to improve your test results, that you are suggesting something more in return... and you may be supporting that inference by your discussing your personal life, or as you put it "letting her in on the more personal aspects of my life such as my son and daughter".
Clearly, when in response to this she told you she doesn't want to be your savior in life, she is telling you that she wants only a tutor/student relationship with you, and that she doesn't want to be involved in the personal aspects of your life. And, I must add that tutor need not be involved in your personal life to help with your studies.
You have not given a clear understanding as to how her asking to not be involved in the personal part of your life could be considered a rejection of your capabilities...(that is truly a stretch) and, even if it were somehow a rejection of your capabilities, it need not logically follow that a rejection of your capabilities would therefor somehow be sexual harassment... what is sexual about that???
No, based upon the information you have provided, I do not believe that you are in any way the victim of sexual harassment. However, I can not be as certain with regard to whether she is a victim of sexual harassment. It might be interesting and enlightening to hear her view of the situation.
I don't know whether or not this has answered your question to your satisfaction, but either way... I will risk further alienation of you by suggesting strongly that you find another tutor as soon as possible. I believe that it will be best for her, and in the long run... best for you.
BobO
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Anonymous rated this answer a 2.