KED asked this question on 3/24/2000:

Hi.....A freind of mine at school gets off of the bus everyday and had a sophmore (we're freshman) tell her things that are inappropriate and should NOT be said to her about her body and his "fantasies." She's afraid every day to get onto the bus!! She's also afraid that if she tells someone that he'll only do it ten times worse! What can I do to stop him from doing this??? Please help me!!!

Karebear11 gave this response on 3/26/2000:

first of all, both of you need to understand that this kind of behavior is unacceptable for anyone, whether he's older or not. obviously, since you contacted me, you do understand this. now, you need to make sure your friend understands this. if this situation is affecting her self esteem, which it sounds like it is, it needs to be stopped right away. first (this is incredibly cliche), she should try ignoring him. maybe if he doesn't get a response out of her, or he doesn't think he's getting to her in any way, he'll stop. whatever she does, she should not let him know that he's bothering her in any way, or that she's scared to go on the bus. if this doesn't work, she could try saying something back. like if he's describing a particular "fantasy", she could say, "yeah right! no one would be caught dead doing that with you!" If she says something that embarasses him, maybe he'll be too ashamed to continue his behavior. simple name-calling probably won't work for this, because that will just egg him on. if his behavior still won't stop, then one of you is going to have to report him to an adult you trust. this may be embarassing, earn you a reputation as a "tattle-tale", or even, as you suggested, make the problem ten times worse, but it's a step that needs to be taken. this kind of behavior could get him suspended, maybe expeled, and your friend could press charges. your best bet is to try talking to your school counselor. he/she could give you more detailed advice, or they could punish the guy, saying that an anonymous source ratted him out, not your friend. one other factor you probably didn't think of, is that maybe the guy likes your friend and decides to show it in an inappropriate, macho way. it sounds like this isn't the case, but it might be, so if you think it is, let him know very clearly that this isn't the way to get a girl's attention. best of luck.

The average rating for this answer is 5.

KED rated this answer a 5.

I got GREAT advice from her and i would like to say "thank you!!!!!!"