Anonymous asked this question on 4/8/2000:

I don't know if this would be considered sexual harrassment or not but that is why i am asking you? I am slapped on the ass all the time by the same guy. He has a girlfriend but she doesn't know about it. Everytime i pass him in the halls at school which is twice a day he hits my butt. I don't really take offence to it but I am not sure what it all means. Does it mean anything?

jellygator gave this response on 4/8/2000:

If you don't take offense to it, and do not try to stop it, it would be hard to call it sexual harassment if you got mad later on.

If you didn't invite it, asked him to stop, and it continued, then it would be harassment. It is apparently a concern to you, so I suggest telling him that it makes you uncomfortable and asking him to please stop. In many cases, guys (and girls) don't realize they're crossing a line and if it's brought to their attention, they will stop doing whatever they're doing.

Does that answer your question?

Anonymous asked this follow-up question on 4/8/2000:

Yes it does. How would I go about telling him that it bothers me?

jellygator gave this response on 4/8/2000:

I would ask him to stop for a moment to talk (out of anyone else's hearing), and tell him, "I know you're just being friendly, and I haven't known how to tell you this, but it makes me uncomfortable when you slap me on the rear. Could you please stop doing this?"

He will probably express surprise. Reassure him that you don't harbor any negative feelings, but that you would prefer that it not happen again. Thank him if he agrees.

If by some chance he does not agree or if it does not stop, say something to him in front of other people the next time. If it continues to be a problem after this, speak to someone who has some authority over him. (School principal, boss, parent, etc.) I doubt it will get this far, though. Most people really don't realize when their actions are not appropriate and are eager to set things straight. In my experience, there have not been any hard feelings after a firm, supportive approach like I've described. (I've used this technique several times.)

The average rating for this answer is 4.

Anonymous rated this answer a 4.