Sagirl2005 asked this question on 4/27/2000:

I was absused by my ex boyfriend. He would hit,punch,kick me and throw me down stairs. He would tell me things like I dont have anyone but him,and that without him Im no one. For a while I believed this, but I realized that I didnt need him or his abuse. I was also raped by an ex. I was 16 he was 26. I said no,but he pressed harder against me forcing me to cry and rither in pain.I broke up with him two weeks later. We stopped talking for a while,then we hung out one day. It happened again. I'm am scared of being in a relationship,I scared of being touched,kissed,held,because when I think of that it reminds me of him. Can someone please help me?If so please e-mail me Sagirl2005@aol.com

Naomi8 gave this response on 5/11/2000:

You didn't say whether you're in counseling or not, if the answer is no, then get yourself there right away.

To be violated, is one of the most devastating crimes a person will ever have to face.

You need to realize that it was not your fault. Rape is not a crime of passion, it is a struggle for control.

Rape causes the victim to feel guilt, that it was somehow their faul; it causes low self-esteem, a feeling of unworthiness, and the list goes on and on, as you well know. It is going to take you a length of time to grieve your loss, and to work through this whole mess. Don't beat yourself up. Be good to yourself, talk to whomever will listen, give yourself time to grieve.

I know you don't believe it right now, but, my philosophy is, somewhere in this world is the right partner for everyone, just waiting for you. When the right one comes along, you will know it.

Hang in there kid. (no reference to age)

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