jodiann64 asked this question on 5/8/2000:
What do you do when a family member accuses you of abuse but actually its the other way around. And no matter who you talk to it is a totall waist of time because you have a bad tracct record for things that you have done in the past. But not only are you suffering but your children are suffering also.
Patti_Ja gave this response on 5/11/2000:
Hi...Jodiann...first may I say that there are very few people who have a perfect track record...when we are young we make mistakes...that is what youth is all about...it is when we do not learn from our mistakes that we are apt to find ourself in deep...I am sorry that you are going through this because this form of abuse can be as devistating as the physical stuff because there is no way to make another person (someone we have allowed a position of power) stop punishing for things that they think we should be punished for until they are tired of punishing us...my ex husband tired of punishing me when he did his ultimate punishment...he left me for another woman and married her less than six months after he divorced me...I did not even go to court because it would have done no good...it would have been the finale to years of being told what I had done and when I had done it...and I chose to go and do something which meant something to me...if you are sick and tired of being sick and tired and if you believe that you deserve something better and are willing to go through anything to try to be happy...and all of us deserve to be happy...or at least we deserve not to be abused...then I will help you in any way that I can to do what you need to do...In our city we have something called Raven...it is peer counseling for men who abuse...sometimes men do not know some of the things they do are abuse and it shows them why things are considered abusive and then helps them to discover healthy alternatives to abuse...this is just one thing...in case you do not want to leave and just need some help in trying to get him to recognise that he is being abusive and it is not a good situation of you or your kids and he has to be miserable to make all the others so miserable...he also deserves some happiness...
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