Anonymous asked this question on 5/5/2000:
I HAVE BEEN REALLY DEPRESSED FOR THE LAST WEEK. LAST FRIDAY MY HUSBAND BEAT ME UP, I HAD HIM ARRESTED AND MADE THEM KEEP HIM IN JAIL ALL WEEK END. THREE HOURS LATER CPS CAME AND REMOVED MY CHILDREN BECAUSE THEY SAY MY HOUSE WAS TO DIRTY. MY HUSBAND IS IN ANOTHER STATE RIGHT NOW AND HE HAS TO COME FOR HIS PUNISHMENT: HE IS FACING SIX MONTHS IN JAIL RIGHT NOW. HE IS GOING TO BE GOING TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE COUNSELING BECAUSE HE IS COURT ORDERED FROM THE JUVENILE COURT BUT ALSO BECAUSE HE WANTS TO FIND OUT WHY AND CHANGE THAT BEHAVIOR. HE REALLY WANTS HIS FAMILY BACK. WE WILL BE SEPERATED FOR AWHILE BUT WE DO PLAN ON GETTING BACK TOGETHER. MY DEPRESSION COMES FROM TWO THINGS. ONE MY HUSBAND ASSUALTING ME WHERE HE GAVE ME A BLACK EYE AND SWOLLEN JAWS. THE SECOND IS THE MATTER OF MY CHILDREN. I FEEL THAT NOT ONLY DID HE ABUSE ME BUT SO HAS THE STATE. ON MONDAY I HAVE TO GO TO MEDIATION WHERE I WILL ADMIT TO THINGS THAT ARE NOT TRUE JUST SO I CAN GET MY KIDS BACK SOON. I WAS SUICIDAL BUT I AM DOING BETTER NOW. I STILL GET REALLY DEPRESSED WHEN THE NIGHT TIME HITS. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT TO DO FOR ME. NOT ONE PERSON EXCEPT MY HUSBAND ASKED ME HOW I AM HOLDING UP SINCE THIS ENTIRE THING STARTED. MY CHILDREN ARE IN A TEMP. SHELTER RIGHT NOW AND MY 13 YEAR OLD SAYS EVERY DAY SHE WANTS TO GO HOME. SHE EVEN HAD HER FRIEND CALL ME AND TELL ME THAT SHE IS SORRY AND SHE WANTS TO COME HOME. I ALSO HAVE A 3 YEAR OLD AND 14 MONTH OLD. I HAVE TOLD THESE PEOPLE THAT THEY ARE SERIOUSLY HARMING MY 13 YEAR OLD CHILD THE MOST BUT THEY SEEM NOT TO CARE. I WENT TO THE MALL TO WATCH HER PERFORM IN HER CONCERT AND ONE OF THE WORKERS MADE A STATEMENT SAYING YOU HAVE SUPERVISED VISITS AND I TOLD HER IT WAS NOT A VISIT IT WAS A CONCERT AND I TOLD TWO WORKERS AND NEITHER ONE SAID I COULD NOT GO. SO I WENT!! I ALSO BOUGHT HER LUNCH -:) MY HOUSE WAD DIRTY AND IM NOT A THREAT TO MY THREE CHILDREN SO I AM SO UPSET AND DEPRESSED. I WILL NOT SEE MY CHILDREN ON MOTHERS DAY. I WILL BE HERE ALONE. THAT WILL CAUSE SIGNIFICANT DEPRESSION. I NEED HELP AND NOBODY IN THIS SCREWED UP STATE SEEMS TO GIVE A DAMD ABOUT ME AND WHAT IM GOING THROUGH. I WOULD JUST LIKE TO HERE FROM SOME OF THE EXPERTS AS TO WHY A STATE SHOULD HAVE SO MUCH POWER WITH SOMEONES CHILDREN AND WHY IM STILL LIVING. I THINK MY HUSBAND TALKING TO ME AND MY CHILDREN HAVE BEEN THE ONLY REASON WHY IM STILL ALIVE TO ASK THESE QUESTIONS.
S_S gave this response on 5/8/2000:
Dear Anonymous,
I think the first thing you should do, is go and confide all to a doctor you trust. Explain to him(or her)the way you're feeling. I think a short course of antidepressants would really help you get through this time. You have a lot to deal with at the moment and you need some sort of help. I would ask your doctor to refer you to a social worker. A Social Worker, can explain to you your rights and help you to come up with a solution to getting your children back. He or She can also speak for you in court, which will help your case.
Don't admit to anything which is not true. Only tell the truth, as things said now, may affect you in the future, so make sure they are true.
Although your husband didn't mean to hit you, the fact is that he did. Go along with the counselling and try to be understanding, but under NO Circumstances, make an excuse for his behaviour. What he did was wrong. A man has no right to hit a woman unless he is defending himself and only then in the extreme
Whatever happens, try and muster as much of your family and friends for moral support as you can. You'll need all the help you and your family can get.
Welfare services' main goal is to ensure the safety of children. Their charter also includes the priority of keeping children with their parents if possible. To that end, I'm sure that this will all work out for the better.
Please, when you are a family again, DO get counselling for your children. Try and get counselling for yourself now.\
Good Luck.
Anonymous asked this follow-up question on 5/8/2000:
I am going to mediation today and I live in utah. here in Utah either you admit to some of the things that are not true or they keep your kids for a long time. Ive had to sit in my home all alone and look at my kids pictures and decide this: Should I let the state keep themfor awhile or do I go and get off that petition what I can and admit to the other things that are not true? I have to get my children away from CPS because my 13 year old daughter Desirae is very tramatized by them keeping her away from her "mommy" my 3 year old son is VERY ANGRY, and of course my baby most likely will not remember any of this in a few weeks. If I settle the petition my children will be returned to me on May 22nd. If not no telling when I will get them back. I cannot allow my kids to suffer because of their father. My 13 yr old is going to need some intensive therapy. My son also needs theapy. When I get my kids back I will not let anyone near them again. Not even their father. I am doing better but I am still depressed. If I go and talk to the one doctor I trust then the state may be able to get a court order to get that info from him and use it against me in court. I have no family here in Utah except my baby brother and he has not even called me and asked how im doing or if I got my kids back. Him and his girlfriend just had a baby a month ago and they had not as much as a night gown for my neice and I am the one that called a place to get her clothes for the baby but they cannot give me any support. My mom and sister live in Virginia so they cannot be here. My mom feels guilty that she is not here but she left her kids for drugs and a man when I was 14 years old. My father raaised me and I called him and asked him to come down to see me he live about four hours away. He never even so much as called me!!! Thanks for listening to me. I really needed to get this off my chest.
S_S gave this response on 5/10/2000:
Dear Anonymous,
I really feel for you, It sounds like you've had a very rough life.
I agree about keeping the kids as your number one priority. I guess you have to do what you must to get your 'babies' back and that may not be easy.
I see no reason, why they should get a court order to get your doctor's records unless the situation is really extreme. I still thnik that you could talk to a doctor and again I really think some anti-depressants may help. Of course it's completely up to you!
The main reason that I suggest talking to the doctor is that he can point you in the right direction for support and refer you to services which ca help you. It will be very hard to get through this and being that your family is not responding to you (very hurtful) I really think that you need some sort of professional support; eg a social worker, counsellor etc. Talking to your doctor will help you feel like someone is listening and talking about a problem is very therapeutic - as you have found out through this service.
Why don't you try it. Talk to your doctor.
Good luck and god bless. You sound like a very strong lady and I'm sure you'll be fine.
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Anonymous rated this answer a 4.