Anonymous asked this question on 5/5/2000:
I HAVE BEEN REALLY DEPRESSED FOR THE LAST WEEK. LAST FRIDAY MY HUSBAND BEAT ME UP, I HAD HIM ARRESTED AND MADE THEM KEEP HIM IN JAIL ALL WEEK END. THREE HOURS LATER CPS CAME AND REMOVED MY CHILDREN BECAUSE THEY SAY MY HOUSE WAS TO DIRTY. MY HUSBAND IS IN ANOTHER STATE RIGHT NOW AND HE HAS TO COME FOR HIS PUNISHMENT: HE IS FACING SIX MONTHS IN JAIL RIGHT NOW. HE IS GOING TO BE GOING TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE COUNSELING BECAUSE HE IS COURT ORDERED FROM THE JUVENILE COURT BUT ALSO BECAUSE HE WANTS TO FIND OUT WHY AND CHANGE THAT BEHAVIOR. HE REALLY WANTS HIS FAMILY BACK. WE WILL BE SEPERATED FOR AWHILE BUT WE DO PLAN ON GETTING BACK TOGETHER. MY DEPRESSION COMES FROM TWO THINGS. ONE MY HUSBAND ASSUALTING ME WHERE HE GAVE ME A BLACK EYE AND SWOLLEN JAWS. THE SECOND IS THE MATTER OF MY CHILDREN. I FEEL THAT NOT ONLY DID HE ABUSE ME BUT SO HAS THE STATE. ON MONDAY I HAVE TO GO TO MEDIATION WHERE I WILL ADMIT TO THINGS THAT ARE NOT TRUE JUST SO I CAN GET MY KIDS BACK SOON. I WAS SUICIDAL BUT I AM DOING BETTER NOW. I STILL GET REALLY DEPRESSED WHEN THE NIGHT TIME HITS. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT TO DO FOR ME. NOT ONE PERSON EXCEPT MY HUSBAND ASKED ME HOW I AM HOLDING UP SINCE THIS ENTIRE THING STARTED. MY CHILDREN ARE IN A TEMP. SHELTER RIGHT NOW AND MY 13 YEAR OLD SAYS EVERY DAY SHE WANTS TO GO HOME. SHE EVEN HAD HER FRIEND CALL ME AND TELL ME THAT SHE IS SORRY AND SHE WANTS TO COME HOME. I ALSO HAVE A 3 YEAR OLD AND 14 MONTH OLD. I HAVE TOLD THESE PEOPLE THAT THEY ARE SERIOUSLY HARMING MY 13 YEAR OLD CHILD THE MOST BUT THEY SEEM NOT TO CARE. I WENT TO THE MALL TO WATCH HER PERFORM IN HER CONCERT AND ONE OF THE WORKERS MADE A STATEMENT SAYING YOU HAVE SUPERVISED VISITS AND I TOLD HER IT WAS NOT A VISIT IT WAS A CONCERT AND I TOLD TWO WORKERS AND NEITHER ONE SAID I COULD NOT GO. SO I WENT!! I ALSO BOUGHT HER LUNCH -:) MY HOUSE WAD DIRTY AND IM NOT A THREAT TO MY THREE CHILDREN SO I AM SO UPSET AND DEPRESSED. I WILL NOT SEE MY CHILDREN ON MOTHERS DAY. I WILL BE HERE ALONE. THAT WILL CAUSE SIGNIFICANT DEPRESSION. I NEED HELP AND NOBODY IN THIS SCREWED UP STATE SEEMS TO GIVE A DAMD ABOUT ME AND WHAT IM GOING THROUGH. I WOULD JUST LIKE TO HERE FROM SOME OF THE EXPERTS AS TO WHY A STATE SHOULD HAVE SO MUCH POWER WITH SOMEONES CHILDREN AND WHY IM STILL LIVING. I THINK MY HUSBAND TALKING TO ME AND MY CHILDREN HAVE BEEN THE ONLY REASON WHY IM STILL ALIVE TO ASK THESE QUESTIONS.
ROSETTA900 gave this response on 5/6/2000:
DONT GIVE UP THE FIGHT, YOU MUST CONTINUE TO FIGHT FOR YOUR CHILDREN AND PROVE TO THE SYSTEM THAT YOU ARE A FIT PARENT.
AS HARD AS BEING SEPERATED FROM YOUR CHILDREN IS AT THIS TIME. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP HIGH AND KNOW YOU ARE A GOOD MOTHER. I TOO WAS ONCE SEPERATED FROM MY KIDS. TOOK 2 YEARS BUT WE WERE REUNITED AND THINGS ARE BETTER.
AFTER TAKING EVERY PARENT CLASS I COULD AND PROVEING THAT I WAS THE MOST PHYSCOLOGICAL PARENT FOR MY CHILDREN.
GOD BLESS!STAY STRONG AND KNOW YOU ARE A SURVIVOR AND DO NOT LET ANYONE TELL YOU DIFFERENT!
ROSE
Anonymous asked this follow-up question on 5/8/2000:
Rose, the funny thing is that this is the second time the state has "kidnapped my kids" No im not crazy but lok at it this way: my husband assualted me and the state of Utah assualted me, too. They also assualted my kids. My 13 year old daughter says everyday on the phone " I WANT TO GO HOME, I PROMISE I WILL CLEAN ALL MY MESS UP" she has been tramatized by the state mopre than she was by what happened in our home. He is in California and im in Utah so he is not a threat. I am a BATTERED WIFE cut and dry. They need to relize that I was powerless because of all the abuse I was under. How was your state able to keep your kids for two years? Utah can only keep them for one year and then they have to terminate my parental rights. Last time they took my kids they said I had delisions of granduir, bipolar, taking meds for a seizure disorder, and was not giving my baby meds for her reflux. All four of these things were untrue and were taken out of the petition. I am going to mediation in 5 hours so I can admit to some things that are not true. I don`t know about your state but in my state we go to mediation and go through the entire petition and I make them take certain things out ANd then they say we are going out of the room to discuss something and then they come in and say if you agree to certain things then we will let the kids be returned. This case is simply a dirty house case and spousal abuse which cps and the state really didn`t bring up to much in the court room nor in the petition. I have to settle this petition or I have to go to trial and the same outcome will happen. I have only one relative that will take the kids but she lives in a different state. Sso the state says that could take 3 months to a year to happen. I also don`t know about your circumstances when your kids were taken but I just finished parenting classes in late November and they said I may not have to take them again( I hope not) My kids are 13, 3, and 15 months. That means it would be different paerenting classes for all three of them. They also are saying that when the worker came in my home my children "merely went and started getting their things together" which the other worker with her told my 13 year old to get her brother and sister some clothes together" My entire point is that I am not a bad parent and me and my kids do not deserve the abuse that the state has done to us. I have no problem with services that DCFS offers actually I enjoy Family Preservation and parenting classes to but only if the kids are here with me. Thanks for letting me vent. I have no support here in Uath at all. I do have an appointment tommorrow with the Domestic Violence shelter for orientation to get into their support groups and other classes.
ROSETTA900 gave this response on 5/8/2000:
HI
YOU CAN VENT WITH ME ANYTIME!YOU MENTIONED THAT YOU HAVE NO SUPPORT AT ALL. I JUST RAN ACROSS AN ONLINE SUPPORT GROUP YOU MAY WANT TO CHECK OUT. THEIR WEB ADDRESS IS http://www.silenttears.org
And please email me anytime! You can also email me at Rosetta900@aol.com
Anonymous asked this follow-up question on 5/9/2000:
I went to mediation today and we did settle the petition. The D.A. was bending over backwards to settle it well the CPS worker got pissed off becaause he did not want it to be " so deluted that I got away with everything" which I said we can leave the enire petition as is and go to trial and all of you will be charged with perjury!!! They went out of the room and came back and said I have to get a letter from my counselor that says the kids should come home. They had a simple dirty house case and even the mediator said that. Im not sure how long the Guardian at Litem is going to try to keep my kids but i hope to hell when I go to court on the 22nd that they get to come home as I will have the letter from my thrapists recommendation in place. This is the same woman that told me when I get my kids to get the hell out of Utah. I called her today and she will be seeing me tommorrow. She most definatelt does not like CPS I can see that. They did not even put anything in the petition that my mental health was an issue at all and thats why they lost in that respect. They could have got another psych. evaluation but they do not know at Mental health where I go he can do a quick interview and update it if it has been less than a year. I have been depressed today and thats because I have not got a definate date to get my kids. these people wanted to keep them 6 months to a year!!! I said HELL NO!!!! Like I said the mediator said to them that there was absolutely NO basis for keeping my kids for that period of time.
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