AprilBreezes asked this question on 5/7/2000:
Hopefully you have read my first question so I wont have to go into that again. I just wanted to address what most of you suggested for me to do. Have any of you stayed at a shelter? Most kick you out after a couple weeks. How do you get your life started over in a couple weeks? The conditions are unbareable. Also as far going to the law for help, his dad is the police chief of our tiny town. Have you heard of the good ole boys? Thats what I live with. I know I have to get away from this man, but how?
April
courtneysmom gave this response on 5/7/2000:
Dear AprilBreezes:
I didn't respond to your lst question, because by the time I got to it, you had this one on here. I have definitely heard of the good old boy system, believe you me! However, somewhere out there in your county or precinct there is help! Where I live, the prosecuting attorney is very involved in prosecuting domestic violence perpetrators. And he doesn't care if it was the governor... Your boyfriends dad may be the chief of police in your tiny town, but he does not rule the county. As far as shelters go, some are definitely better than others. But the ones I know of and work with do not kick anyone out in a certain time period. There are indeed rules to follow and they must have rules to maintain safety and a structured environment. The only time I've heard of anyone being "kicked" out (your words) was when they did something to violate the rules or otherwise disrupt the shelter protocol. Still, these are very valuable allies to have in your corner. They will educate you and go to court with you and help you with any legal documents you might have to complete. Is there another shelter in your area? You should leave this man asap and if he persists or objects, get a restraining order against him and stick to it, don't drop the charges or let him get away with threatening you in any manner. Until you stand up and DO NOT tolerate his behavior, he is only going to continue. I understand and empathize with you as I know that saying all this and doing it is two quite different things altogether. However, life is too short and precious for you to have to live with such behavior. As far as your active libido goes, have you sought counseling for this? I don't mean to insult you in any way by suggesting this, it's an honest question. A good therapist that deals with sexual issues might could help you to cope with this situation. Either way, you should not be seeking sex from other sources if you are supposedly in a mannogamous relationship. That could lead to other things that you don't need in your life, including death from a sexually transmitted disease. I don't mean to be dramatic or frighten you, but it is very frightening out there anymore and want you to be safe. I would recommend you get rid of this character who's your BF right now. He sounds very dangerous and you don't need that in your life. These are just my two cents for what it's worth. I really do hope you get the help you need; it is out there it just might take some resourcefulness on your part. Please be safe and take care...if you need to talk further, please advise.
courtneysmom
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