Anonymous asked this question on 5/5/2000:
I HAVE BEEN REALLY DEPRESSED FOR THE LAST WEEK. LAST FRIDAY MY HUSBAND BEAT ME UP, I HAD HIM ARRESTED AND MADE THEM KEEP HIM IN JAIL ALL WEEK END. THREE HOURS LATER CPS CAME AND REMOVED MY CHILDREN BECAUSE THEY SAY MY HOUSE WAS TO DIRTY. MY HUSBAND IS IN ANOTHER STATE RIGHT NOW AND HE HAS TO COME FOR HIS PUNISHMENT: HE IS FACING SIX MONTHS IN JAIL RIGHT NOW. HE IS GOING TO BE GOING TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE COUNSELING BECAUSE HE IS COURT ORDERED FROM THE JUVENILE COURT BUT ALSO BECAUSE HE WANTS TO FIND OUT WHY AND CHANGE THAT BEHAVIOR. HE REALLY WANTS HIS FAMILY BACK. WE WILL BE SEPERATED FOR AWHILE BUT WE DO PLAN ON GETTING BACK TOGETHER. MY DEPRESSION COMES FROM TWO THINGS. ONE MY HUSBAND ASSUALTING ME WHERE HE GAVE ME A BLACK EYE AND SWOLLEN JAWS. THE SECOND IS THE MATTER OF MY CHILDREN. I FEEL THAT NOT ONLY DID HE ABUSE ME BUT SO HAS THE STATE. ON MONDAY I HAVE TO GO TO MEDIATION WHERE I WILL ADMIT TO THINGS THAT ARE NOT TRUE JUST SO I CAN GET MY KIDS BACK SOON. I WAS SUICIDAL BUT I AM DOING BETTER NOW. I STILL GET REALLY DEPRESSED WHEN THE NIGHT TIME HITS. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT TO DO FOR ME. NOT ONE PERSON EXCEPT MY HUSBAND ASKED ME HOW I AM HOLDING UP SINCE THIS ENTIRE THING STARTED. MY CHILDREN ARE IN A TEMP. SHELTER RIGHT NOW AND MY 13 YEAR OLD SAYS EVERY DAY SHE WANTS TO GO HOME. SHE EVEN HAD HER FRIEND CALL ME AND TELL ME THAT SHE IS SORRY AND SHE WANTS TO COME HOME. I ALSO HAVE A 3 YEAR OLD AND 14 MONTH OLD. I HAVE TOLD THESE PEOPLE THAT THEY ARE SERIOUSLY HARMING MY 13 YEAR OLD CHILD THE MOST BUT THEY SEEM NOT TO CARE. I WENT TO THE MALL TO WATCH HER PERFORM IN HER CONCERT AND ONE OF THE WORKERS MADE A STATEMENT SAYING YOU HAVE SUPERVISED VISITS AND I TOLD HER IT WAS NOT A VISIT IT WAS A CONCERT AND I TOLD TWO WORKERS AND NEITHER ONE SAID I COULD NOT GO. SO I WENT!! I ALSO BOUGHT HER LUNCH -:) MY HOUSE WAD DIRTY AND IM NOT A THREAT TO MY THREE CHILDREN SO I AM SO UPSET AND DEPRESSED. I WILL NOT SEE MY CHILDREN ON MOTHERS DAY. I WILL BE HERE ALONE. THAT WILL CAUSE SIGNIFICANT DEPRESSION. I NEED HELP AND NOBODY IN THIS SCREWED UP STATE SEEMS TO GIVE A DAMD ABOUT ME AND WHAT IM GOING THROUGH. I WOULD JUST LIKE TO HERE FROM SOME OF THE EXPERTS AS TO WHY A STATE SHOULD HAVE SO MUCH POWER WITH SOMEONES CHILDREN AND WHY IM STILL LIVING. I THINK MY HUSBAND TALKING TO ME AND MY CHILDREN HAVE BEEN THE ONLY REASON WHY IM STILL ALIVE TO ASK THESE QUESTIONS.
stillsurviving gave this response on 5/5/2000:
I THINK THAT THE BEST PLACE FOR YOU IS IN COUNSELLING, SOMEWHERE ALONG THE ROAD, YOU RECEIVED BAD INFORMATION ABOUT WHAT IS NORMAL IN A RELATIONSHIP. YOUR HUSBAND MADE SOME PRETTY SERIOUS MISTAKES. REGARDLESS OF HOW MAD HE GETS, NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO HIT ANOTHER PERSON. RIGHT NOW YOUR KIDS NEED YOU TO PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER AND DO WHAT EVER IT TAKES TO NOT ONLY GET THEM BACK, BUT ALSO HAVE SOME TRAINING ON BOUNDARIES, I ALSO FEEL THAT YOU HAVE A VERY LOW IF ANY SELF ASTEEM. YOU THINK THAT YOU HAVE TO PUT UP WITH CERTAIN THINGS TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP. THE TRUTH IS THE GUY YOUR WITH NEEDS SOMETIME TO CORRECT HIS BEHAVIOR, AND DEAL WITH THE BUILT UP ANGER THAT IS BUILDING INSIDE OF HIM. ITS QUITE POSSIBLE THAT IF HE YOU CAN BE THE STRONG ONE AND MAKE A FIRM STAND THAT IF HE TRUELY WANTS YOU IN HIS LIFE THEN HE WOULD HAVE TO FOLLOW YOUR GROUND RULES. BUT DO NOT HOLD BACK ON LIFE ANOTHER MINUTE TAKE THE TIME TO GET TO KNOW YOUR KIDS BETTER, THEY REALLY NEED YOU RIGHT NOW. I AM SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOUR FEELING SO DEPRESSED, AND I HAVE TO SAY THAT I CAN RELATE TO WHATYOU ARE FEELING, BUT YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT LIFE MOVES IN CYCLES MUCH LIKE SEASONS REPEATING ITSELF UNTIL WE CLEARLY SEE AHEAD OF US. I AM DOING THE BEST I HAVE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE. AND THE TRICK THAT WORKED FOR ME WASN'T WORK AT ALL, I JUST HAD TO GET TO KNOW ME. WHO I REALLY WAS NOT WHAT EVERYONE ELSE THOUGHT I WAS. I NEVER THOUGHT IT POSSIBLE....BUT I LIKE MYSELF.AND I LIKE YOU TO BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE AT, "IT'S SCARY" BUT YOUR GOING TO MAKE IT, YOUR REACHING OUT FOR HELP AND THATS GOOD. THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING. THAT'S THE KEY . GOOD LUCK WITHTHE HARD DECESIONS AHEAD LET ME KNOW HOW THINGS GO BECAUSE I CARE, ICARE, I CARE, I CARE
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