Anonymous asked this question on 5/1/2000:

I have a boyfriend who very rarely will pinch, hit and hurt me for no reason. i dont get bruised or anything though. i think he thinks that i want to wrestle or sumptin, but when i wrestle i dont hurt others that much. but after he does this he will kiss what he hurt better. he also sometimes calls me names for no reason. is this abuse?? if it is what can i do?? i dont want to leave him becasue i think i know why hes like this, his father used to hit his mother and him. and ive been with him for a very long time. what can i do to make him stop?? please help

Jason4U22 gave this response on 5/4/2000:

First of all I would highly recommend counceling for you both. Yes calling you names is verbaly abusive which sometimes can be more harmful than phys. abuse. I know you love this guy, but he needs help, and now. No one, and I mean no one has the right to verbally or phys. abuse anyone. If the counceling doesn't work the I would suggest a separation. I do hope that he will agree with the counceling. You are right he has learned this abusive behaviour from his parents, and now is acting it out on you. He may think it's normal, and it's not at all normal. Thats why he needs to seek counceling. I don't know if you have children yet, but if you don't thats great. You wouldn't want your children to grow up seeing theire father beating you, would you? no you wouldn't. Tell him that your concerned with his temper, and that you are not going to take all of this abuse. Dont say it in a angry way but an assertive way. Just say I think we need to seek some marriage counceling because there are a few things i'm concerned about. Tell him that you love him very much, but the counceling is a must. if he doesn't go you go.It would be great if he agrees to it. If he ever hurts you call the police and press charges. Love isn't suppose to hurt.

Jason4U22

The average rating for this answer is 4.