huey_vivian asked this question on 4/13/2000:

okay he's my question i left my boyfiend for two weeks stright and then one day me and my friend was in the his car the friends car and he was crying and saying that he would never hit me angain then he left me but he did not want anybody elese he wanted just me in his life but i went back to him the third time around what should i do should i learn to trust him and think things will be okay this time or what?????????????

whoozhe gave this response on 5/3/2000:

When a contoller/abuser starts to lose the control he has imposed on anther he will use tactics to reinforce his control. In cases of domestic violence, after a violent outburst a "honeymoon" period occurs. That is the period when an abuser shows refret, makes promises of stopping the abuse, buys flowers and is attentative. The length of these honeymoon periods vary but in just about every domestic violence situation they gradually get smaller with the violence at the end of each one growing in intensity. If he is genuine he would be seeking help now from a therapist of some sort and be committed to therapy for the long term. Even if he is attending therapy think of what you want in your life. It would be a good idea for you to talk to someone who can help you regain your independence.

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