huey_vivian asked this question on 4/13/2000:

okay he's my question i left my boyfiend for two weeks stright and then one day me and my friend was in the his car the friends car and he was crying and saying that he would never hit me angain then he left me but he did not want anybody elese he wanted just me in his life but i went back to him the third time around what should i do should i learn to trust him and think things will be okay this time or what?????????????

1uglyhombre gave this response on 5/2/2000:

Hi. Please note that I am not a trained counselor.

Your issue here is not one of "trust." It is an issue of RESPECT! A man who respects you will never hit you; he will never harm you, or tease to the point of crossing into abuse. If your boyfriend does not RESPECT you as a person and a woman, do you think it is fair of him to waste your time?

If a man hits a woman (wife, girlfriend, or daughter), he will most likely DO IT AGAIN. That is the typical pattern of male violence. It does not always follow that he will do it again, but it is very likely. All protestations of love and promises to never hit again are "forgotten" when yet again he hits out of unreasonable anger.

If you have anxiety about your personal safely, call 1-800-799-7233 and ask them some questions. You can try to take your boyfriend's word that he will never hit you again, and if he ever does PLEASE call that number, or look in your telephone book in the front pages under government services for "Domestic Abuse."

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