Anonymous asked this question on 5/1/2000:

I'm seven months pregnant and my boyfriend physically abuses me. he always thinks I'm cheating on him and he get very angry and won't isten to what I have to say and thats when the hitting begins,I want to leave but i think I have already given up. What can i do what do you suggest?

missbeenthere gave this response on 5/2/2000:

I am sorry to hear you are going through this type of thing during a time when you should be at your happiest, it must be very hard for you, but please don't give up! there is more help out there than you realize. please check the phone book to see if there is a domestic violence shelter in your area, I am not saying that you have to go there thou i believe it would be in your best interest if you do , however even if you choose not to they can help you to understand what is really going on via counseling or even just talking to someone on there crisis line . you are in a very dangerous situation for yourself and your unborn child, and tho you may wish it was not so , there is nothing you can do to change this person , and it really does not matter what he says his reasons are for hitting you , so please don't waist time trying to change yourself to stop the beatings , he will just find another excuse , you need to think of yourself and your child first and formost , i am sure you you do not want your child to grow up watching his mother be abused and miss treated , i know what is like to be abused i spent many years in that situation myself , i thought i had givin up hope as well i thought it would never get better, i thought someday ... he's going to kill me , and that thought finally woke me up !!! and then i thought of a plan , i saved some money, i called only my closest friends and took things to there houses a little at a time i waited for a time when , we seemed to be getting along , this is called the honeymoon period , and then when he left the house for work , i went to the nearest shelter, it was not easy he tried to stalk me and harrassed my friends and family but i stayed put . you may not have the time to plan as i did , so let me tell you that anything material you have can be replaced, dont worry about such small stuff , the shelter i went to gave me many items to restart my life with even helping me with a deposit on an apartment , you would be surprised at the amount of help you will recieve . i am now very happily married to the sweetest man , we have 6 kids, between us, life is interesting to say the least , but oh life is good , please don't give up , your baby will bring you so much joy , just wait until you see that first toothless grin , you have everthing inside you that you need to make your life just what you want it to be , all you needis alittle help , please call the shelter, they will help you see this and give you the hope back that you say you have lost , take it from some one who has been there , you only need to make that first move to start putting your life back together . good luck , and have faith

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