Anonymous asked this question on 5/1/2000:

I have a boyfriend who very rarely will pinch, hit and hurt me for no reason. i dont get bruised or anything though. i think he thinks that i want to wrestle or sumptin, but when i wrestle i dont hurt others that much. but after he does this he will kiss what he hurt better. he also sometimes calls me names for no reason. is this abuse?? if it is what can i do?? i dont want to leave him becasue i think i know why hes like this, his father used to hit his mother and him. and ive been with him for a very long time. what can i do to make him stop?? please help

ezcutt gave this response on 5/1/2000:

first of all, that is considered physical and verbal abuse. it doesn't matter why he does it, the thing is he does. he needs to stop, noone was out on this earth to be abused (physicaly or verbaly). the problem is that you say that you really like him, that a problem, but try this. tell him that you are no longer going to except any type of abuse, then tell him that you truly care about him, but he needs help (more than yours), tell him that he needs to get counseling because he has a problem. you should seperate with him for a period of time, (not breaking up) just a break while he starts getting help. you know that you can't help a person if they don't want to help themselves, he needs to prove to you (and himself) that he really wants help. i know that you say that you really like him, but you don't know that the abuse can get worst at any given momment and that would not be good for you. good luck to you both and i hope that he gets the help he needs and you are safe.

ez

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