Sagirl2005 asked this question on 4/27/2000:
I was absused by my ex boyfriend. He would hit,punch,kick me and throw me down stairs. He would tell me things like I dont have anyone but him,and that without him Im no one. For a while I believed this, but I realized that I didnt need him or his abuse. I was also raped by an ex. I was 16 he was 26. I said no,but he pressed harder against me forcing me to cry and rither in pain.I broke up with him two weeks later. We stopped talking for a while,then we hung out one day. It happened again. I'm am scared of being in a relationship,I scared of being touched,kissed,held,because when I think of that it reminds me of him. Can someone please help me?If so please e-mail me Sagirl2005@aol.com
missbeenthere gave this response on 4/29/2000:
lets first address the issue of what rape is. rape is an act of violence it has not much to do with sex except that the offender enjoys the sense of control he feels while in the act, and he is well aware that it will affect you after the act is comeplete , in this way he maintains that control for an extended period the first thing you must do is to understand that although there are some very sick individuals in this world , most are not , you must also realize that you are worthy of giving and recieving love and should not be cheated out of your chance to enjoy a normal healthy relationship. one of the ways in wich you can do this is to recieve some form of counseling, i suggest group , since there you will find others who understand how you feel, however private may be more your style if you are nervous in a group. some self help measures you can take would be to take stock of what kind of person you would like to become involved with since this happened in a relationship, and to steer clear of the controlling types , also examining the qualities in yourself that you like and enhancing them will go along way in preventing you from becoming involved with this kind of individual again by increasing your self esteem , i have been where you are at and I am now a counelor in a womens center i hope this advice helps at least a little
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