Anonymous asked this question on 4/19/2000:

Is it ever o.k. to have someone hit you? I know it is a stupid question but it's like I know certain things are going to piss my boyfriend off but sometimes I feel like I should be able to do whatever I want. I know that if I talk back or cuss at him that he might slap me in my mouth but sometimes I still do it.Does that make since? And the other stupid part is have the time I find myself saying sorry for him hitting me. I'm not stupid, actully I'm a straigt A college student. I even tell myself that I'm not going to do anything to piss him off but sometimes I still do. Don't tell me to get away from him, because I love him and I feel lonely without him but I just want him to treat me better. I want him to stop yelling at me, I don't like being scared of my boyfriend and I hate that almost everyone knows that he has hit me before. But I do not want to loss him. I don't think he would ever hurt me hurt me. Maybe scare me leave a couple of marks but not kill me. I know it sounds stupid but I really do believe it's true. They say you can't change those who don't want to be changed so what can I do to make it right?

KARENOFST gave this response on 4/27/2000:

IT IS NEVER, EVER OK FOR YOUR TO BE HIT OR HURT IN AN INAPPROPRIATE WAY BY YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER...YOU EVEN SAY THAT YOU KNOW THIS IS A STUPID QUESTION. YOU SAID THE WORD "STUPID" AT LEAST THREE TIMES IN YOUR QUESTION. YOU ARE NOT STUPID, BUT YOU ARE ILL, BECAUSE YOU ARE CAUGHT UP IN THE "CYCLE OF ABUSE." SOMETHING INSIDE YOU LIKES THE PART OF THIS CYCLE THAT BRINGS ABOUT THE HONEYMOON PHASE AND THE MAKEUP PHASE. YOU KNOW IN YOUR HEART THAT THIS IS ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY WRONG. FOR SOME REASON YOU THINK YOU DESERVE THIS BEHAVIOR, BUT YOU DO NOT AND MUST NOT ALLOW THIS TO CONTINUE.

GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP IMMEDIATELY UNLESS HE WILL SEEK COUNSELING WITH YOU. IT WILL ONLY GET MUCH WORSE. AND YES, HE MIGHT KILL YOU.

The average rating for this answer is 3.6.