Sagirl2005 asked this question on 4/27/2000:

I was absused by my ex boyfriend. He would hit,punch,kick me and throw me down stairs. He would tell me things like I dont have anyone but him,and that without him Im no one. For a while I believed this, but I realized that I didnt need him or his abuse. I was also raped by an ex. I was 16 he was 26. I said no,but he pressed harder against me forcing me to cry and rither in pain.I broke up with him two weeks later. We stopped talking for a while,then we hung out one day. It happened again. I'm am scared of being in a relationship,I scared of being touched,kissed,held,because when I think of that it reminds me of him. Can someone please help me?If so please e-mail me Sagirl2005@aol.com

the_listener gave this response on 4/27/2000:

First of all let me tell you that nothing that you did made any of your ex's do this to you. You did not deserve this. It may not seem like it now, but evantually ou will be able to have a healthy relationship with a man. You may want to consider enter into counseling or a rape support group. You need to talk to others who can understand and support you. It is going to take time for you to be able to feel comfortable around men. Remember not all men are assholes like your ex's or feel the need to abuse and control their girlfriends. That is what abuse and rape is about...control. Think about these two men..did they have similar traits such as quick temper, explosions over little incidental things? Look for warning signs about abusive behavior. Don't get me wrong, a "perfect" man, may still be an abuser, but seeks out support and build up a connection of friends that can be there for you and support you and start looking for a man who will treat you like the golden doll that you are. Keep the faith.

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